Are you a victim? How much of your life is out of your control. Do your parents treat you like a little kid, even though you’re 19? Does your partner not understand you? Does your boyfriend talk mean to you? Did your boss get on your case for something that was not your fault? Did the bag-o-salad in the fridge go bad on you over night last night? Did your fingernails grow to fast this month and now the stupid door jam ripped one so now you have to back to the salon? Now this… now that… he said… she did… they won’t… I HAVE NO CONTROL!

Well, OK… I’ll give you that there are times that we have no control over some of the things that happen to us – that we are victims to life. There are certainly victims of natural disasters or crime. There are victims of illness and death. There are even victims of a broken home or relationship. Is it your choice to remain a victim? I hope not. Nothing will suck your energy and leave you little more than a ghost than being a victim. And I’ll be the first to tell you being a ghost of the person you want to be is not fun; ghosts CAN’T DANCE!

So, when fate deals you that lousy hand, what do you do? Bluff and hope for the best? That’s one way for certain. You can fold, and hope that the dealer is nicer next time. Or you can play the hand you were dealt and try to minimize your losses. How do you minimize your losses? Don’t bet heavily, and forgive the dealer. Forgiveness is the key in getting out being a victim. Remembering that forgiveness and forgetfulness are NOT the same thing. And who do you want to forgive the most? Yourself… that’s who. When we are truly victims it is always amazing how much guilt or shame we put on ourselves, “ … if I’d only done this …”, “ … if I were not so …”. That shame and guilt will kill you. Forgive yourself of that and you are on the way to being a survivor. It is the survivor in you that well win the pot.