How much of you do you see in me? Debbie Ford teaches us that you can see ALL of you in me. A long time advocate of the Jungian concept of The Shadow, Debbie has taught workshops and coached thousands of people worldwide. I was fortunate enough to attend one of her Shadow workshops here in California, and I have to admit it was indeed an enlightening experience.
One thing that Debbie emphasizes is that we all (every single one of us) have all traits within us. Some we are conscious of; love, caring, generosity, while others hide in the Shadow of our unconscious; arrogance, greed, mania, cynicism, negativity, hate. These shadow traits are hidden away because at one point in our life, most of us, choice to not let them be part of our persona. We did not totally get ride of them, however, and these traits lurk in the shadows waiting for an unexpected opportunity to pounce! And pounce they do if you do not recognize them and have the ability to control them.
How do you recognize them? There are two ways. The easiest way is to realize that if you have a trait that you are particularly proud of, you can pretty much bet, that you have shoved it’s opposite into the shadow of your conscious. For example, if you are proud of how giving you are, it’s pretty safe to say that greed is part of your shadow. The other way is not so easy… it is via something called projection. How you “project” your visceral feelings onto another. Haven’t you ever known someone that simply “rubbed you the wrong way”. You might not have even been able to put your finger on why. But if you look at this long enough, you’ll figure it out. Let’s say our giving, generous person (from above) meets this business man, and after having lunch with them, they realize that something about him is just not right. After thinking about it, our giver realizes that Mr. Business did not even offer to pick up the tab, or pay the tip. He ordered a large lunch, and simple walked away from the table when it was time to leave. Now this would annoy most anyone, but to a generous, giving person… this type of greed and selfishness is unforgiveable! The ‘giver’ will easily spot the ‘greedy person’ EVERY time. Why, because they project their shadow of greed onto to them, and it causes a visceral reaction within.
So, as Debbie Ford teaches us; “ … always remember that whenever we point at someone – there is one finger pointing at them, but there are 3 fingers pointing back us yourself…”
Bright blessings ~Richard |