Do you believe in unconditional love? In the Christian tradition, we are taught; “… love one another as I have loved you.” Jesus of course said that. Now, how easy is it going to be for you to love as Jesus loved? Jesus was the master of agape! Personally, I believe that is a very admirable goal, but it is something we truly have to work toward.
Why do we have to work so hard share unconditional love? Because for most of us, we were never taught it. Most of us as we were growing felt the aspects of conditional love. If you brought home bad grades, did you feel as loved as if you brought home that A or B? If you messed up and got in trouble at school… a fight for example, did the disappointment of your parents overshadow the love they had for you? I think most of us experienced and were thereby taught conditional love.
Now, I’m not blaming mom and dad for all the woes in our lives; by no stretch of the imagination. I'm not saying our parents did not love us, because as a parent I know that is not true. Most parents love their children, but in the attempt to help a child grow we try to teach them other things, and the impression of conditional love is needed for some of that. But it is true how we were raised has, without a doubt, an impact on the adult we become. As a boy, I knew that if I was a good boy, if I obeyed, if I didn’t talk back… then I would be rewarded with love. I remember how it felt when others would tell my mom or dad how nice it was to have me around – my parents pride was unmistakable. Today, the love I share is that of the good guy, obedient and certainly not confrontational; sometimes to my own detriment. But I recognize that now and can work on making a fuller relationship where communication does not mean being confrontational.
We are taught a great many things as we are growing. The key is to never loose touch with what we were taught or what we learned. If you loose touch with it, you can never change it, and sometimes – it really needs to be changed if you want a happier life.
Bright blessings ~ Richard |