Is she still in your heart? Do you wake up from dreams of him? Do your eyes well up with tears or do you get a knot in your throat when you talk about him or her? But they are nowhere around because they are your ex-partner.  

When we have a break up, whether we instigated it or not, we always have choices to make. The feelings that you feel are, in my opinion, good choices. The reason I say that is because, while those feelings may be confusing to you or perhaps even painful the alternative feelings are generally far more destructive. The alternative to those nostalgic feelings of love we have is bitterness and anger perhaps even hatred. Given the choice I’ll take nostalgic feelings of love over bitterness and hatred any day of the week.  

It is difficult sometimes to get over an Ex-partner. We have to go through the grief process until we gain acceptance. This is a process of time. A break-up can be more difficult than loosing a loved one to death. Death can be a natural occurrence and therefore more easily accepted by some. If we use anger, hatred and bitterness however to cope with a break-up we are doing ourselves a disservice. You may find that it helps you get over your ex more quickly, but in the long run those emotions will put you in a place where others do not want to go. Have you ever been on a date where all your date did was talk poorly about their ex, and express their hopes that you are better than that? I think we’ve all met that man or woman hater that is just too much to bear. We feel pity for them sometimes. You don’t want to be pitied.  

And this is the real shame about feeling anger or bitterness toward your ex. You might think it is helping you get over them, but in fact it is putting the hook in deeper. The choice for bitterness and anger does not move you forward but rather it keeps you stuck in the past. The energy of anger and bitterness used to get over them draws them closer to you (in your mind and heart) and at the same time pushes others away. You end up with nothing except a bitter mind and heart for someone that is not around – you are stuck in the past. So accept and relish those nostalgic feelings -

then move on with your day.  

Bright blessings ~ Richard