What do you mean by that?!
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“What
do you mean by that?” It is actually one
of the wisest questions in active listening or thorough communication. Given a tone of voice, it may not be the
most diplomatic question, but it is still hugely important.
Why
is it so important you ask? Well,
obviously if we don’t understand another, especially someone we might be
intimate with, we will want to clarify things.
We need to, at the very least, understand the perspective of your loved
ones; if not agree with that perspective.
But
more importantly, the meaning to any given thing or circumstance is
individually created and variable. What
is one thing to you is quite another to the man sitting three seats away from
you. The police can ask 3 eye-witnesses
what happened in any give crime scene and walk away with three different
answers! Here’s the secret – YOU ATTACH
THE MEANING TO YOUR LIFE. Some people think Hitler was a military
genius. Others found him to be a
psychopathic megalomaniac. Some people
look at winter as being a season of death and dying. Others look to the season as a time of
reserve – a time to conserve strengths and energy, to prepare for the re-birth
of spring!
What
kind of meanings will you - do you attach?
That’s
it. If you don’t get what another is
saying you will attach your own meaning – trust me, it’s the cause of a lot of
arguments! So are you a black and white kind of guy, with a black and white
version of right and wrong? Are you a
rainbow kind of woman – where black and white just does not exist? Well, I hope you two are not in an intimate
relationship, or if you are you know how to ask; “What do you mean by that?”.
Bright blessings ~ Richard