Infidelity. Unfaithfulness. Cheating. All nasty words. All nasty actions that can cut through your heart like a sword. Not only does it break trust, it breaks hearts and if it happens to you, it can be difficult to work through. Infidelity can certainly hit your self-esteem like a brick falling from the sky and raise a dust bowl of emotions in it's midst. I understand this all too well. I've been there.

 Does it mean your relationship is over? For many this is a certain deal breaker. For others, it's an opportunity to to figure out what went wrong and correct it. The bottom line is, however, the answer depends on the reasons for the infidelity, which is important to determine since it will affect you far beyond this relationship if you decide to go. It's important to know in the instance you decide to stay.

 Some may decide to stay, ignore the issue and simply look the other way.  Doing this helps no one and simply does the most amount of damage. Simply hoping he or she will stop isn't going to fix anything, but only make it worse. It is imperative you determine the cause and make decisions from there, and stick with them.

 Do people deserve second changes? Yes. Do they deserve a third? Not likely. Once a cheater, always a cheater? Not always. Sometimes partners seek what they are not getting out of their relationships in the arms of another. Sometimes, they have simply fallen out of love. If the one who is being unfaithful is seeking fulfillment elsewhere because of feeling neglected by you, that can be repaired. If the love simply is not there, then it's time to move on.

 However, it's not always that simple. Some people have underlying problems that lead them to cheat. Whether it's due to sexual addiction, or due to past relationship experiences that keep them from fully giving themselves to one person, it's important to find out the dynamics that lead them to cheat. Sadly, many times, it stems back to the opposite sex parent and their relationship with them as a child and teen.

 Men who had ill relationships with their mothers tend to have a need to surround themselves with women, moving from one to another, continually unfulfilled. If that man is in a relationship, he tends to keep looking for the next best thing because the one he is with is sure to break his heart, so he finds himself unable to get too close.

 Women who had ill relationships with their fathers tend to have a need to surround themselves with men, moving from one to another when they, too, go unfulfilled by the men they are with at the time. The difference is, women tend to cling to the men, whereas men tend to remain closed off so they do not get too close to one woman.

 Either way, the causes of infidelity are many and it can certainly take some times to filter the causes out. It can be tiring and emotionally taxing. Don't ever think you can "fix" or "save" someone. They can only do this themselves, but it's up to you to be supportive of their issues as they work through it (if they decide that's what they want to do) or simply walk away and leave their issues to the next one they cheat on.

 A person who is truly sorry and truly made a mistake will go through great lengths to prove themselves to you. If this is lacking, walk away, now. Odds are, they are continuing their antics, hoping you won't notice or simply don't care.

 Just remember, life it short. Be good to yourself. Don't waste time on those who don't deserve your love, your life and your time. Instead, find the one who will love you like you want and need to be loved, so that you can fully give yourself freely in return. Be happy, not miserable.