Leaving your husband for another woman and other identity crisis'
I am not sure how some of you woman do it. Unlike most men it seems, you put love way ahead of sex. You keep an open mind when presented with options to find love. I wish men and more women were more like you. Alas, everyone else is hardwired at birth to feel attractions for either the opposite or the same sex gender. There is no sampling this and that provided for in our DNA.
Some men and woman are blessed born bisexual. I really see it that way when considering the love aspect. Not being bisexual however, the sex aspect seems troublesome if the bisexual finds both forms of sex very satisfying. How can any one of us ever fully satisfy their sexual needs? How can we feel confident that they will not have an affair with someone whose gender is opposite ours?
While some woman can become bisexual to satisfy their need to be loved men can become bisexual for purposes of sexual gratification. Gay sex may not be what they fantasize about when aroused nor may it be as fulfilling as hetero sex but the bottom line is that they can be sexually relieved this way. This is their sole motivation as no matter how bad their record of relationships are with woman, they will continue to try rather than look to the same sex to find love.
In seeing benefits to bisexuality is not to say that remaining hetero or homosexual is a disadvantage. Changing our sexual identity is not something we can talk ourselves into because we see some benefit to doing so. Rationalizations will not overcome our nature.
A woman wanting to leave her husband for another woman is usually because another woman is giving her the kind of attention she wants from her husband. It is that rather than a desire to have gay sex. A man wanting to leave his wife for another man is more complicated. For a man to leave any woman to be with a man he likely has been suppressing homosexual impulses long before the marriage. The impulses being incompatible with the marriage eventually becomes unbearable and to fulfill the desire to be true to who they believe themselves to be they end the marriage.
If your wife starts having an affair with another woman rather than assume shes just a dyke, you really should take a look at yourself and what you have or have not contributed to the relationship. Cher sings a song about there not being enough love and understanding. Try showing your wife love and understanding and you may see her coming back home to you. Trust me, deep down inside it is what she would really want. She probably didnt want to leave in the first place.
Now when your husband starts having an affair with another man, chances are great that he is gay. Do not look to yourself for reasons for his behavior. Gay men are usually pretty sensitive. Do not doubt he has and still loves you. However like I said earlier, men gay or not place a very high value on sex. So much so that in time they will engage in their preferred sexual behavior be there love or not in your marriage.
Your husband made a commitment to you and I believe has made an effort to remain committed. If he has not you, me, and him should talk because that effort must be made. When children are involved more than effort must be made. The marriage must continue while the kids are growing up. There is no sacrifice too great we can make for our children.