Letting go the one you love
Probably one of the most emotionally painful experiences is a break-up. It ranks right up there close to bereavement. Many of us cope with it in different ways. Some become a sobbing mess while others a hardened cold and bitter person. Both types eventually recover. However it doesn't seem to mean either approach works. I really want to talk to those of you who rather ball up those feelings into a paper ball and toss it into the trash.
That doesn't seem to work. However it is what some of us do maybe it is our pride or maybe we just don't want to feel the pain. It could be both. Whatever the reason, you can ball up those feelings but they will remain trapped inside you - ignored but eating away at you nonetheless.
Venting is a healthy way of healing. You and I can talk this out or you can turn to someone in your life that will lend an ear and be a shoulder to cry on. Acknowledge your feelings and you will be able to let them go that much faster. It still won't happen over night and you may feel its killing you having to acknowledge you have been hurt.
You can rationalize in your mind all you want to and believe this person mistreated you and does not deserve your love and therefore you will not feel it. Good way of looking at it but it doesn't work in practice. As much as you want to carve the love out of your heart with a knife you can not. It is there to stay until those feelings dissipate on their own. It is true, time heals all wounds. Take your time feeling better, spend time with friends, and engage in hobbies that bring you pleasure.
Through it all, he or she will be on your mind. Accept your lingering feelings of love for them. Understand that you had some good times together and it is natural to feel this way. Remind yourself that they have given you memories of those good times and that they cannot take those from you. Those are yours to keep forever.
You may remember the bad times and the break up causing you to feel anger and betrayal - also natural emotions to feel. You can learn from these bad times now. You are out of the situation and can look at it differently as time goes by. You will see the mistakes made and feel confident that your awareness of them has better prepared you for your next relationship.
Also look at this from another perspective. That obviously was not the right relationship to be in and had it continued, when the right person came along to join you in the right relationship you would not be available. You are now single, free, and available. Enjoy this time with your friends and doing the things that bring you pleasure. Before you know it you will begin to feel those unwanted painful feelings slip away into history.