Personal ads do and don'ts: How to get attention and how to get ignored - Part I
Let’s not break this down into separate discussions into what you should do and what you should not do. Suffice it to say that for the most part, do the opposite of what you shouldn’t do and you will improve your chances of being the needle in the plethora of hay on online matching sites. In some cases you may not do something that you should and you and I will address those things as well.
To begin with, before even registering to use the site take a look at the kinds of profiles already posted. See anyone you like? What does it seem most are looking for? If you see few that interest you or if it seems many on the site are looking for random anonymous flings then you’re going to want to move onto another site. Sure, if a fling is all you have in mind you needn’t look further for that reason.
Also consider how well the site promotes communication between members on a free or paid basis. Sites that allow you to post and browse but not write or in the least respond to messages unless you pay are best avoided. Even when you pay you may be interested in someone who is not a paying member. In that case, the member will be unable to respond to you leading you to think there is no interest when in reality the site is not permitting that member to respond until they purchase a membership. This misunderstanding is perpetuated by some sites who will not disclose who are paid members to keep paid members in the dark as to how small the pool of members who can freely communicate is.
Alright, so you’ve chosen you’re site(s) with care. Now it is time to exercise the same level of care if not greater level of care in adding content to your profile. First and foremost, do NOT exclude photos. Some of you may want to be pursued on the basis of the content of your character as characterized in your profile. Remember, like it or not most of us judge a book by its cover. Even nice single folk like you. If you don’t capture their attention with a photo they will not stop to look and learn how wonderful you really are. That one member who moves on to the profile below yours with a picture may be your soul mate and you may be theirs only the two of you will never know.
Don’t just upload any picture of you. If blurry, dark, as tiny as a thumbnail enlarged, or in any other way difficult to see don’t use it. It’s about as good as having no picture. Don’t try to impress anyone with a view of you with the Eiffel tower, the grand canyon, or some breath taking view that shows how well traveled you are. It does not lend it self to improving your appearance. Now, if you are up close and clearly visible those photos are fine to use. However, in an effort to include the background, you may become subordinate to the view rather than the other way around.
You should have a minimum of two photos to allow anyone to get a better idea the range of your look. None of us look exactly the same in every picture and while one person may think you’re a skank in one and willing to ignore you, they may be so enamored by the other one they may just want to write you.
The pictures should be no older than a year or two. If you are 100% certain your appearance has not changed you may want to leave it. However if they see you in dated clothing, it may be a tip that you are attempting to pass yourself off as being younger than you really are or that you simply don’t look that good anymore.
The first picture should be an up close head shot and the one to appear in search results. Either a dead on or profile view is fine. Choose the most flattering view. This picture can include you down to your shoulders or where your forearms begin. The other picture should show your figure or build. If body type is important to someone they need to see yours. Why waste your time? Eventually they will catch on to the fact that you are pear shaped, have a spare tire, or in desperate need of nutrition – a live skeleton. Appearing to have not eaten a meal in years can lead one to believe you are sick. Big turn off! By the time they catch on you may have feelings that may be hurt when who interests you pulls away. In part II of this blog we will discuss what should be written or not written in your profile.