The 4 most common relationship errors.
These four are the most popular relationship problems I see so I will discuss these.
1. The blame game.
This one is the hardest for people to understand. It is so much easier to play the victim and blame the other person for the problems. When you learn that the behavior is appropriate in yourr partner and that the unhappiness is actually within yourself then you can stop blaming the other and start working on yourself.
2. Acceptance is the key.
This one I teach using the serenity prayer. Accept that you cannot change the other person; you can only change yourself. To try and change someone who does not want to be changed is like hitting repeatedly against a brick wall so it is time to stop the pain of trying to move a brick wall.
3. Where's the respect?
Use "I"messages. Attacking the other person only puts their defenses up and does not lead to problem solving. Once this is established and "I"messages are learned then learn basic problem solving skills.
4. Who said you have to be right all the time?
This one is fairly easy to fix. Once the couple sees how unhappy being right is causing both of them, then they give it up.