Truth About Cheating and How to Heal From It
This download came to me through LadyButterfly1 and you can get it until 7 pm tonight at:
Oprah.com http://media.oprah.com/sterm/TruthAboutCheating_2.pdf
Here is how I healed myself of this event.
8 Steps to Healing Betrayal
By Rene Remington
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last
edited: Saturday, September 08, 2007
Posted: Sunday, March 19, 2006
This
written to assist YOU. In a hope that you can go through this process
at a pace that serves you well. Having experienced the PAIN of Betrayal
from the person I love and having betrayed someone myself. I understand
and know what it takes to Heal Betrayal. You CAN too.
FROM BETRAYAL BACK TO LOVE. Betrayal from the person you love is
just about the worse pain you can feel. This can show up on so many
ways. Whether from a relationship breakup, a divorce or a long standing
friendship. Sometimes even when a person dies and leaves you behind.
PERMISSION TO GRIEVE
1. ALLOW
Yourself to grieve in everyway you can. Do not heed people who tell you otherwise.
A. Cry, scream, write it out, walk in forest talk to the trees,
you'll be surprised at how well they listen. They can give you the
strength as hear their whispering caress of you.
B. Get Angry, NOT AT YOURSELF, stop judging yourself. You did
nothing wrong. It is not your character under assisination here. Be
gentle with yourself. Allow yourself lots of alone time to get to know
you again at a very deep level.
C. Stop the JUDGEMENT. HEY, you don't know the big picture. I know
you are suffering and your heart is so painful you feel like your
dying. May be a part of you actually is, but it will be reborn with
time.
2. SADNESS
So how long will this sadness last? You will have waves of it. At
first long periods of sadness and tears. Then comes a time when you
actally go your first full day without crying.
A. For some it can be days, others weeks and other months. Time is different for you than for me.
B. It feels like no one but you have ever felt this much pain before.
C. About now some good meaning friend starts telling you to snap
out of it. You attempt it, but can't seem to quite pull it off. IT'S
OKAY
D. GUILT.. now you start to feel this guilt...Give that up too.
Guilt is a useless emotion to keep you bound in unworthiness. The guilt
usally goes something like this. "Chatter" telling you about being
ashamed of yourself because there are so MANY people who have it so
much worse. In all it's forms pain is pain and its part of the human
condition. Give Yourself a Break.
3. LONGING
Longing for the familar touch or sound of the persons voice, the
phone call the quick note. The toe touching in bed or spooning and
snuggling on the sofa.
A. Absence of the familiar
B. Aloneness again, isolation, hermiting yourself.
C. Avoiding other friends or family.
D. Not wanting to have to explain.
4. SEEKING COUNSEL
For some people this is hard to do. It's seems particularly
difficult for people in the helping professions to ask for counsel when
they need it. It goes something like this " Chatter " I should be able
to handle this, I have helped people through this before...I know how
to do this well. What's wrong, why am I not getting this.
A. Well here you go....no Doctor can fix his own broken heart. Time does though and nurturing yourself.
B. Feeling safe enough to talk about it with someone who can
assist you to process though your feelings. YOU see this is not an
exercise in intellectual skills. Its'a heart issue, YOUR HEART, not
someone you don't know.
Although at this moment maybe you thought you could never feel this deeply hurt.
5. DESIRE TO GET EVEN
Now you start thinking of how you can get even with the person. You start bargaining with yourself here.
A. You say how can I make that person hurt like I did. You know
it's not rationale and another part of is totally in conflict with that
idea. Perhaps somewhere along the line you may have hurt someone like
this too. I know I have.
B. Maybe you plan to be where you know the person would be and you
decided to get a friend to show up with you. Someone of course who you
have known a while.
C. Last Minute Mind Change Here YOU dont' go.
OR
You Go Through With It AND.........
D. REopen the pain game and you put yourself through some more S _ _ _.
6. YOU MAKE YOURSELF GO OUT WITH SOMEONE NEW ..YIPPIE YOU THINK
You decided with your mind, it's high time you got over this deal
and you locate a victim who will go out with. They can see your not yet
together, but they either choose to assist in your healing or try to
rescue you from it.
A. Trouble here is you usually end up persecuting them some how for caring about you.
B. Your self esttem took a big hit here and you wonder how anyone would ever love you. You can't even love yourself right now!
C. Now this is another "Chatter ", no one is ever going to love you again. Now you decide you will never love anyone again.
D. I know this feels real. Like you mean it, you may spend quite a
bit of time here even in a state of resentment about having loved
someone so deeply.
It's natural it's a defensive mechanism when you've been blindsided by someone you loved.
7. HEALING BETRAYAL
At last you come to the point you ask yourself the question. Would
I rather have missed this relationship entirely? long pause
usually...............
Once you can answer this with honesty, you can begin to feel love
again within your being for the person and release yourself from the
pain of the past.
Here you begin to see what experiences the person left you with.
How much you learned about yourself. May be you realize they provided
you with a fertile ground you would have missed had you not had them in
your life.
8. GRATITUDE - I know you thought you'd never be here.
At last begin to feel GRATITUDE, for them having shared part of
there journey with you. You even realized there were millions of people
in the world and you two just happened to get hooked up for a joyful
experience and some tears too. You have come to a place of BALANCE. You
know great UNITY and HAVE dedicated time and work to forgiveness,
either of yourself or the other person. This bring you to Inner Peace,
Acceptance and Completion.
LOVE RETURNS TO YOU...YOUR OWN AND IT'S WONDERFUL TO BE ALIVE.
Celebrate YOU,
René
René Remington's motto is "TRUST YOUR HEART. IT KNOWS THE WAY". She
teaches individuals how to come back to their heart. How to reopen to
themselves and then how to reconnect with the world with new
understanding and healing of betrayal. René has been providing
spiritual assistance to those seeking greater depths within themselves
since early childhood. She calls herself a "Change Agent or a
Transformer" She teaches from the heart and brings forward the Wisdom
of the Ages.
For further assistance with your own healing you can order René's CD or downloadable MP3.
"SEASONS FOR THE SOUL" Available through
paypal. This is a limited time offer at a special introductory price of
$18.97. Contact me I'll give you the particulars.
Earthangel9250
Rene 5* Rating