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Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE

Dysfunctional Personalities
Deception of the Borderline, Psychology Today

This article by Psychology Today is a very accurate description of why Dysfunctional Personalities attack and rage at you. The defense tactics they will use to protect themselves from being exposed for the insecure personalities they are. Why it is so confusing to "you" the partner or loved one who is on the receiving end of their insane behavior. I have explained to many of my clients that what these dysfunctional personalities project outwardly and what they are feeling on the inside emotionally are two different matters.

 Psychology Today

 Not all Borderline Personality symptoms will present with the exact patterns. This is one reason why it is so confusing to bystanders who are not mental health practitioners. It is a common experience for the borderline personality to give the appearance of being a very normal person to most people and unnoticed by people in the family, friends, and circle, of acquaintances. Nevertheless, at the same time the BPD is inflicting excruciating emotional pain upon family members and loved ones through a pervasive pattern of behaviors that just does not make sense. The response of many family members can be confusion and being made to feel a little crazy themselves. A common behavior of the Borderline personality is to act out or act in exhibiting attention seeking behaviors that are convincing enough for onlookers to evoke a sympathetic response. The natural response to acting out is to enable or to rescue the Borderline from every impending crisis, which seems very real to the BPD. The behavior of acting out has earned many Borderline's the label of "Drama Queen or King, i.e., individuals who "act out" to gain the sympathy and support of others. This calculated performance is portrayed to deflect attention away from the internalized fear beneath the behavior. Obviously, onlookers who do not fully understand what is happening, so it triggers a response to console and rescue the person from their tragic circumstances.

 As a result, individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder are constantly managing a lifestyle unconsciously played out in a constantly developing drama where they are constantly "faking it" to make it in the world their skewed perception creates. In the drama played out, the great fear of abandonment and continual threat of rejection must be managed by the behaviors exhibited. Therefore, at the heart of the BPD's crisis management is the morbidity potential attached to the phobic thinking that sooner or later he/she will be "found out" and face permanent abandonment and rejection. Consequently, the behavior often observed centers around a concerted effort to manage life at the cost of others that contributes to a life-long pattern of manipulating people, information, and perception in ways that spin reality to match their mentally distorted view of life. The goal of the pervasive thinking pattern is to manipulate, control, and hide the underlying problem from people around them on a daily basis.

The danger felt by a Borderline is motivated by the neurotic fear of being found out and facing the possibility of being rejected or abandoned. As a result, the very idea of someone exposing the reality of the borderline behavior is a trigger that evokes fear of being exposed along with the subsequent fear of abandonment. Facing this stress, triggers the core issue, the fear of abandonment, isolation, and public exposure to the truth resulting in Borderline Rage. Consequently, the behavior following is an intense feeling of rejection, pain, along with outbursts of anger. Neurotic fear triggers defensive mechanisms designed to try to regain control of the skewed mental perception of many Borderlines by re-spinning reality to those around them. Therefore, what results is rage, acting out, as well as, acting in behaviors resulting from emotional dysregulation from the perceived threats. Unfortunately for you, if you are the person who identifies the deception of the borderline, be prepared to become the focused object of rage motivated by an irrational belief that you caused abandonment, social isolation, and rejection.

Rage is directed at you by the Borderline in a very personal way that is designed to destroy you and disable your credibility to everyone she can influence. Something to remember is that for the borderline, the loss of control coupled with the fear of abandonment triggers a heightened level of stress that is unmanageable, which results in deregulated emotions, panic, and the attention seeking behaviors that will follow. Consequently, a common experience for the BPD is when dysregulation is triggered is that splitting occurs and what was once all good has suddenly become all bad. This symptomatic pattern among Borderlines threatened with a feeling of lack of control, or being found out, is to turn their anger toward the person who knows their secret and threatens the myth that they have created. In the distorted reasoning of the Borderline, the identifier endangers their ability to maintain a feeling of control, which in turn triggers emotional dysregulation under the stress.

 Then, comes the anger, rage, passive aggressive anger focused by the internalized threat upon the person who knows their secret and may expose the BPD to accountability for their distorted behaviors. So, before you assume responsibility for the rage, pain, and dysfunction, remember that this is not your fault, it is BPD.

Deception of the Borderline, Psychology Today
Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE

Over the last few months I have written about the behavior patterns of the highly insecure personalities. Dysfunctional personalities as I have called them and the games they play with people in their personal and professional lives. How they think, feel and will respond when their abandonment/engulfment fears are triggered and when their ego and sense of self is threatened.
Today, I will talk about the psychopath. Research has stated that a psychopath may be narcissist but a narcissist is not always a psychopath.
The reason for this statement is a Narcissist needs outside validation from others for his/her sense of self worth "narcissist supply."  The psychopath does not. A psychopath can live on an Island alone and survive the narcissist cannot.
The psychopath is in a class all by themselves. Please do not read through the traits and instantly analyze everyone in your life. This information is meant to give you an overview and it's something you can use as a tool to assess yourself and to use wisely when assessing others. Being involved with a psychopath it is not a question of if you are going to get hurt, it is a question of when. These personality types are very good at slipping below your radar. I hope Dr. Hare's checklist will give you a better understanding of their behavior patterns.   

Listed below is the  Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised, a diagnostic tool used to identify psychopathic  traits. 

It was compiled by Dr. Robert Hare, Emeritus Professor of Psychology at the University of British Columbia, where he has taught and conducted research for more than four decades, devoting most of his academic career to the study of psychopathy.

Dr. Hare created the psychopathy checklist as a tool to determine the length of stay for criminals in prison.  It's obvious that the degree of psychopathic traits present in criminals would play a deciding factor on the length of stay. Dr. Hare ranks each trait on a  scale of 0-3. For example, if a prisoner ranks 1 on all 20 traits, then he or she would rank 20. Someone who ranks a 3 on all 20 traits would receive a score of 60 and would probably receive a longer length of stay in prison.

Dr. Hare spends much time with each prisoner  and consequently, scores them to his best abilities. But even to Dr. Hare's own chagrin, he has been duped by many psychopaths. 


                                          The Hare Psychopathy Checklist - Revised 


  1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM - The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything.  A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
  2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH - A grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.
  3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM - An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.
  4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING - Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
  5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVE - The use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.
  6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT - A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, cold-hearted, and non-empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.
  7. SHALLOW AFFECT - Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
  8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY - A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
  9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE - An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
  10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS - Expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
  11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR - A variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
  12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS - A variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.
  13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS - An inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
  14. IMPULSIVITY - The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
  15. IRRESPONSIBILITY - Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
  16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS - A failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
  17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS - A lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
  18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY - Behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
  19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE - A revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.
  20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY - A diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes. The word psychopath can be replaced with the word sociopath throughout this page. The meaning is very similar, if not the same.
Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
Understanding Splitting
I was asked by my client if I would explain "splitting."  I hope this information from a profilers perspective will help you to understand what is called "splitting."
Splitting is when you are loved one minute and hated the next.  You are idealized one minute and devalued the next.  These personalities "project" their self hatred  on to you. "You" are the canvas they paint all of their dysfunction on to. The problem they will have is when "you" do not fall for their gas lighting, dysfunctional tactics. That ramps up their game playing and attempts to regain control over you. They are losing control. When they feel that loss of control, abandonment is not far behind.  Dysfunctional personalities use sex in the early stages of the relationship to get you emotionally hooked in. That is why sex with these personalities is off the charts in the early stages or the seduction phase. This causes most of the confusion when getting involved with these personalities. Many people confuse sex with love. The split comes when they cannot control you. That intensifies their insecurity. That triggers their abandonment fears. I can't control you, you will leave me. You do not jump to my drum beat, you will leave me. Their rage against you is their self loathing,  they are really raging against themselves. You are their dart board.
 When these personalities get involved with a strong personality who will not put up with their nonsense, their biggest fears are realized. It is that they are not worthy of you, not that you are not worthy of them, as they would have you believe. The very same fears they felt in childhood. I am not lovable, I am not good enough, there is something wrong with me, etc.   They split and run from you because they fear being exposed for the insecure personalities they are. Their fake mask has fallen off. Something they need to avoid at all costs. Why? Now you see me for who and what I really am. You will abandon me. They run from you as a form of "ego protection" I left You. You did not leave me. That game never really works. One of the reasons they will attempt to keep in contact.  They need to stay in your head. Because you are still in theirs. Everything they say and do is nothing but smoke and mirrors. Their gas lighting and the terrible things they say to you is a failed attempt to make you feel bad. Why? They feel bad and hurt. They are only projecting that inner pain on to you. Hate, anger are very strong emotions. You do not harbor strong emotions for people you really don't care about or for people who are no longer still stuck in your head. They need to hate us, they need to make themselves believe they hate us. So they will not feel the intense abandonment pain.
You see they really loved and had intense emotions for you. These emotions triggered engulfment fears. People misunderstand these engulfment fears. It is not that "you" are putting emotional pressure on them. It is they are feeling intense emotions for you and are engulfed by the emotions. These emotions are telling them "stop" you are losing control, you will be hurt, this person does not love you as much as you love them, this person will abandon you. This is when they must run from you. They split you. They will leave you before you leave them. They cut off their finger to save their arm so to speak. Their irrational fears are not based in reality. It is usually at this time in the relationship that you will get tested, they look for anything that will validate their irrational thinking. The first time you do not jump to their demands, that is the proof that they need that you do not love or want them. Their actions full fill their own prophecy. These personalities just never believed you loved them or would have stayed with them for the long term. How could you love me, when I do not love myself. They are very good at tearing you down, they have to.  Why? You are spending all your time defending yourself and not paying attention to the real issue. Their fear, insecurity and dysfunction.
Remember these personalities are very good at making "you" believe that "you" are/were the problem. If you believe this false bill of goods, they feel better about themselves for the short term. It never lasts. Just like helium in a birthday balloon, day after day it leaks out. Their feeling of superiority is very short lived.    
A deep need for attention. A tactic of the insecure. I see this game being played so much in my daily conversations with some clients that I wanted to write about it. This is a emotion manipulation tactic.  The "I am walking away game,"   the "silent treatment game,"  the "I have walked out game,"  " I am leaving you game." I could go on and on. This is a tactic of the insecure personality who cannot talk about their relationship concerns in an adult manner and uses this tactic in a attempt to get you worried and concerned that they are leaving the relationship or have left the relationship. This is a tactic that many times than not is an attempt to trigger your abandonment fears. What these personalities do not realize is they are using a tactic that works on them, so they think it will work on you. The problem arises with these people when this little drama game does not work anymore.
They want you to chase them, to pacify their insecurities and make them feel wanted and loved. Here is the problem, when the game does not work. I have told my clients over and over again, do not walk this road unless you are serious about staying on this road. I am not talking about victims who are in abusive relationships and have found the strength to leave and get out before they are hurt or killed by their Dysfunctional abusive partner.
I am talking about the drama kings and queens who use this gaslighting/manipulation tactic in an attempt to get their emotional needs met.  
These personalities are jealous and insecure and need to be the center of your world. When they think they are not, "real or imagined," many times its "imagined" they walk away, leave, make this grand gesture of packing up their belongings and walking out. Their partner calls, texts and tries to make heads or tails of what happened. The partner chases them, calls and the drama king or queen does not answer their phone or text. They are getting the desired effect, temporally. Until the partner who has some self respect stops chasing them. What happens? Now your abandonment fears are triggered.  
They become angry and upset that the game has stopped working. Now they are chasing the partner who they walked out on and are using every game in the book to get them back. They become very angry and are now accusing their partner of "playing games." Excuse me!
Remember the fable of the little boy who cried wolf. Stop using and playing this childish game, it may work once. With a confident personality, it will only work once. Ok, you want to go, go. Keep playing this foolish game and you will not be taken seriously again.
Talk about your concerns in an adult manner. If your partner does not want to address your concerns then you can walk away. But at least you have voiced  your concerns / issues and have explained why you are unhappy and why you are leaving the relationship. If your partner will not discuss your concerns, then your partner has no one to blame but him/herself.

If you have any questions I will be more than happy to talk to you. I give five free minutes to all callers. My Ex. 01155 on Ingenio.

                                                 Anthony Iantosca, BCFE    

Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
Manipulation and Control 
I have written many articles on the Dysfunctional Personality and the emotional manipulation games they use to control and dominate you.
The mind games they use to undercut your self esteem and confidence. These personalities project their insecurities on to you in a defense tactic called "Projection." 
 A healthy personality they will resolve a conflict in a mature adult manner. They will talk out their concerns with you. Together in healthy conversation, you and your partner will work together to resolve differences. Each will explain the issues that are of concern and work on a solution. With the DP, the problems are always your fault. It is a very effective tactic of the insecure. Why? Well the more your partner, friend, family or business associate attacks you, the less attention you are paying to their Dysfunctional behavior.
You are put on the defensive. Much of your time is in defending yourself against their outlandish accusations.
When you put your foot down, the emotional manipulation begins in the form of the "silent treatment"  "passive aggressive behavior"  "distancing behavior or in the worst case "violence." You must remember the first time "violent behavior" rears it's ugly head in a relationship, that relationship is over. Never rationalize away the "abusers" physically aggressive and violent behavior.  Allowing this behavior could set up what is called a "trauma bond" with your abuser. Your abuser becomes the rescuer and the rescuer becomes the abuser. You live for the good times when you are being treated right and fear the bad times when you are not. 
What is a trauma bond?
Trauma bonds are very hard to break.   Traumatic bonding is "strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other." (Dutton & Painter, 1981). Several conditions have been identified that must be present for a traumatic bond to occur.

--(1). There must be an imbalance of power, with one person more in control of key aspects of the relationship, such as setting themselves up as the "authority" through such things as controlling the finances, or making most of the relationship decisions, or using threats and intimidations, so the relationship has become lopsided.

--(2). The abusive behavior is sporadic in nature. It is characterized by intermittent reinforcement, which means there is the alternating of highly intense positives (such as intense kindness or affection) and the negatives of the abusive behavior.

--(3). The victim engages in denial of the abuse for emotional self- protection. In severe abuse (this can be psychological or physical), one form of psychological protection strategy is dissociation, where the victim experiences the abuse as if it is not happening to them, but as if they are outside their body watching the scene unfold (like watching a movie). Dissociative states allow the victim to compartmentalize the abusive aspects of the relationship in order to focus on the positive aspects.
Emotional manipulation in the form of covert or overt behavior is a very effective way of hurting and controlling you. In profiling this is called "domineering  behavior." You are being taught that if I "the abuser"  do not get my way, you will be punished in some way. Many times the punishment is covert, sometimes the punishment is overt and violent.  The controlling party is relying on your fear of abandonment, rejection, ridicule, criticism or punishment.  To keep you in line.  The problem with this tactic for the controller is when it does not work.
It is very important to remember that the emotional manipulation games the controller attempts to use on you, what works on them. These personalities believe that everyone thinks, feels and acts as they do. They will use these tactics because these tactics work on them. So after you have attempted to talk and engage them in an adult manner and they still act in this controlling immature way. Simply stop. Stop giving them the attention they are receiving from you. These personalities gage how effective their tactic is working on you by your continued response. The more you chase them, beg, plead and attempt to engage them. The more powerful and in control they feel.  
For the insecure personality the power they feel is short lived.  Just like the air in a birthday balloon. With these personality types you must "command their respect" and draw  "boundary lines."   You must show them you respect yourself and will not be party to their gaslighting tactics. When you do, the air leaks out of their balloon and it  falls to the ground. Is it a painful process for you? Yes it is. Why? Because you care and love these people and want to work things out. Love is an emotion that they cannot feel for you, because they do not love or respect themselves. Remember something, if they walk away and stay away to protect their ego this will be painful for you. It will also be very painful for them as well. You will remain in their heads for a very long time. You have shown them that you have self respect for yourself and above all else, that the only legend they were, was in their own minds.   

If you should have any questions on profiling please send me an e-mail. I will send you five free minutes so we can talk. My ex on ingenio 01155. I look forward to speaking with you.

                                                                   Anthony Iantosca, BCFE  

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Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE


This article today is in response to a Wall Street Article I read the other day concerning Ambiverts. It seems that psychologists and lay people are talking more and more about the Ambivert personality type. Many of the students and clients who I have worked with have heard the term Ambivert. Most people have never heard the term. Now the term Ambivert personality type is coming more into the forefront and their analysis of the Ambivert and Introvert personality is somewhat inaccurate. I will give you a basic overview of these personality types. There is much more to all of these very complex personalities than I have written in this article.


There are eight degrees of emotion that we measure starting from severe Introversion to extreme Extroversion. The slant pattern of the handwriting tells the examiner/profiler how the writer deals with, feels and expresses emotion and emotion only. This is a very complex procedure because the emotional make up of each of these eight degrees of emotion have a "primary" emotional profile and an "inferior" emotional profile. The primary emotional profile is the personalities emotional make up. Under times of stress, uncertainty their "inferior" emotional behavior pattern will be expressed. Both of these emotional behavior patterns can be  expressed and are never devoid of each other.  We all feel emotion the same way but express our emotions differently. All communication flows from me to you, from left to right. The more the slant to the left the handwriting is consistently the more emotionally controlled (Introverted) the personality is. The following is a basic explanation of the Introvert, Ambivert and Extrovert personality.




Were not born this way they were made this way, by domineering parents, school and or church. The Introvert learned at a very early age that he/she could not depend on anyone for love or emotional support. Commonly this was denied them. Love, joy and happiness, is without expression much less shared. It is not that these personalities are devoid of emotion, on the contrary. They experience all forms of emotion like you and I, they just fear it and are unable to express it. Introverts do not hide in a corner with a bag over their head. Introverts can and will function very well in society, it is their distrust of emotion and emotion only that is the key to understanding these personalities and their behavior towards others.  As long as you are not attempting to get emotionally close to the introvert they can and do function well.  They can be social, funny, they can and do get married and have children. Their partner will state that their Introverted partner always has a cold and detached  way about them. Getting married is logical to the introvert and is what is expected of them. They will do what brings them approval It is a necessary evil.  They can and do work very hard. Introverts can function very well in the corporate world and many are in top management.  The only time you see a complete change in their behavior is when you are attempting to get emotionally close to them, put your hands on them,  ask them personal questions and attempting to invade their personal life or space is when you will see a complete change in their behavior.  Introverts do not trust emotion, when they feel strong emotions they shut down. They learned at a very early age that emotion and becoming emotional gets them into problems. As children when they became emotional and wanted emotional interaction with their primary care givers, family etc. This was denied them, they were rejected, ridiculed, criticized and punished. They learned at a very early age no one can be trusted, they only had themselves to depend on.   When emotion comes into play, the Introvert feels venerable, weak and believes they will get hurt emotionally as they experienced in childhood. They have a profound distrust of people attempting to get close to them and this attempt at emotional closeness is always eyed with suspicion .   Emotion to the Introvert is a weakness. The Introvert cannot tolerate emotional pressure put on them by others.  Introverts deal with emotion in very short doses if at all. This is the main reason they engage in solitary activities and are loners.   Introverts live by a code of "what is in the best interest of me." I will explain that statement and what it means to the Introvert.  Back in my early days in profiling, I spent a great deal of time talking to and working with many of the stripers who were also working girls. I would sit and talk to them.  I was waiting for my friends to get off their shift so we could go back into Chinatown and eat. Many of these girls  gave me their handwriting and asked me if I would  gave them a quick behavioral profile.  The majority of the women were Introverts. They were funny, outgoing, very provocative and would make the men that were spending money on them feel very special. I would ask them do you ever get emotionally involved with your clients.

They all said the same thing to me "what are you kidding, this is only a job. My job is to get their money out of their pocket and into mine. No more no less. When my shift is over I go back home to my husband and kids." Some were college students putting themselves through school. Their behavior was very logical to them. Bottom line "what is in the best interest of me."   Introverts can be very cold, uncaring and lack empathy.  Introverts were not born this way, they were made this way.  

 Timothy McVeigh was an Introvert, with heavy pressure (intensity). American terrorist who detonated a truck bomb in front of the Alfred P. Murrah  Federal Building in Oklahoma City on April 19, 1995. Commonly referred to as the Oklahoma City bombing,



  As the slant of the handwriting continues to the right the more emotionally expressive extroverted the personality is. Extroversion is also on a bell curve. There are what is called a "Controlled Extrovert,"  "Extrovert norm of society," and "Extreme Extrovert."  Extroverts are the norm of society, the majority of people in todays society are Extroverts.  If you do not think so, just read the morning news paper. You will have ten stories about who was killed, raped or murdered and one story about how Suzie Cue won the spelling contest. That is not logic that is emotion.  Extroverts are people, people. Extroverts are very responsive types of personalities, they are outgoing, gregarious and fun loving. These personalities are usually sensual, warm and truly appeal to the hedonistic tendencies of those they encounter.  I will  give you a point of measurement on the differences of emotional control and expression. The Ambivert personality is held in check by a wire cable, the controlled Extrovert is held in check by a rope, The Extrovert (norm for society) is held in check by a string, the extreme Extrovert is held in check by a thread.  Extroverts are very responsive personalities both positively and negatively. Extroverts have a tendency respond first and think later and in most situations and can be very volatile and expressive when triggered. Extroverts are quick to express love, prejudice, anger, guilt, jealousy and other intense emotional degrees of responsiveness. When the more extroverted personality is in a good frame of mind they are warm, loving caring. When they are in a negative frame of mind they are a force to be dealt with.  Extroverts live by a code "what is in the best interest of you, as long as you do things my way." The important thing for you to understand is that most everything the Extrovert personality experiences is going to have an emotional foundation to it.  When the Extrovert personality is good they are wonderful. When they are in a negative frame of mind they can be wicked, for example;


Ted Bundy was an Extrovert. He was a Psychopath who's emotional Extroverted non threatening behavior when he approached his victims, helped him to slip under the radar of even the most cautious of personalities.



  Ambivert  personality;


 These personalities are in between the Introverted personality and the more emotional Extroverted personality as the article written below states. There is much more to the Ambivert personality. Ambiverts can be suppressed Ambiverts, Ambiverts and expressive Ambiverts. Again their behavior is also on a bell curve. No two personalities will act exactly the same.  I will give you a more accurate basic overview of these complex and misunderstood personalities.  

 Ambivert personalities are well controlled; they are referred to as being controlled by their logic, objectivity or simply their head. Emotional personalities are referred to as being controlled by the heart or their emotions. Emotional experiences such as love, hurt anger, sorrow, joy, etc., are locked inside the Ambivert personality. Ambiverts experience emotions like you and I they just deal with it in a different way. Their emotions are more suppressed and only are expressed when they feel they can do so safely. The Ambivert under normal conditions is afraid of emotion and has a difficult time expressing it. They simply do not know how to to do it. They normally express emotion by doing things for you. They will cook for you, run errands, give you their time, money, be a good listener and are very dependable. However, in order for them to give you this loyalty, you have to be accepted by them. It is not whether you like him/her or whether you accept him/her, nor whether you want him/her as a friend/ lover. It is whether they like, accept or want you! That is the deciding factor. The Ambivert cannot be dealt with in an emotional manner. You have to be firm, honest, logical, and sincere and express confidence in your product and service as well as yourself. The Ambivert lives by a code "what is in the best interest of everyone." They are your peace makers. The Ambivert being well controlled emotionally will handle emotional experiences or confrontations with a cool, calm and overtly composed manner. Due to this overt facade, those who come into contact with the Ambivert normally misread them and assume they are cold, aloof unemotional and simply detached. This is not the case at all. Overtly they may project the above behavior, but covertly they are experiencing raging emotional discomfort.   The Ambivert does not handle emotional nonsense and foolishness very well. That is not logical to them and drains the Ambivert of their emotional intensity. Ambiverts many times than not will become involved with the more emotional extrovert. This is when problems arise. The Extrovert is emotional all the time while the Ambivert is emotional some of the time.  When the Ambivert is subjected to consistent emotional pressure  by the more emotional Extrovert the Ambivert will look for ways to escape from you.  They need to recharge their emotional batteries.  Ambiverts like their solitude and can do very well by themselves.  There is less emotional pressure put on them and they can do what they do best, function in an unemotional way.   Ambivert personalities are a one person, one place, one thing type of personality. What this means is that Ambiverts will wrap themselves around one person which could be their husband, wife, girlfriend. One place, is their home.  The one thing, is their job, hobby.  This is the security blanket for the Ambivert personality. If anyone of these key areas of their lives comes under attack these personalities can become very disorientated. As their internal emotional pressure builds and builds, Ambiverts like a jack in the box will simply explode.  The reason for this behavior is Ambiverts suppress, suppress and suppress, keeping all of that emotional energy locked up inside.  Unlike the more emotional Extrovert who will express/vent and let out steam to take the edge off.  The Ambivert will suppress and not vent and will keep all that energy locked up inside.   The problem with the Ambivert is you never know how far down their fuse has been spent  or burnt away. When they cannot suppress their emotions anymore and an emotional upheaval occurs, it is like a volcano exploding. Those associated with the Ambivert can be taken aback, since this sort of overt behavior is not the norm for the Ambivert and often confuses those close to him/her. Loyalty and honesty are very important to the Ambivert, when lied to, hurt or double crossed they will forgive you but never forget.  The Ambivert personality will never totally trust you again.  The Ambivert must always feel in control and explore all avenues in order to feel secure in their actions. Therefore they have a tendency to get bogged down in detail they will think and analyze a situation when intense emotions are coming into play. Ambiverts learn very quickly from past mistakes of an emotional nature. They will go out of their way to avoid making the same mistakes again.

The main reason it takes time to get emotionally close to an Amvivert.  Depending on the intensity level of the Ambivert personality when these personalities have snapped and gone into a negative, hostile frame of mind these people can be extremely explosive. Their explosive potential  can be expressed with devastating consequences. For example;


Ted Kaczynski known as the Unabomber was an Ambivert (small writer) with extreme heavy pressure (intensity).


Ambiverts live by a code "what is in the best interest of everyone" the more emotional Extroverted personality does not understand that concept very well. This statement does not mean that the Ambivert is an wimpy ass kisser. This statement means that the Ambivert will look at a situation and analyze it. The Ambivert will do what is in their best interest and also what is in the best interest of others.

Example; You have two Extroverted friends who are having a argument, each one thinks they are right. Both are your friends. One says to you, "she is such a bitch," I don't want you talking to her anymore. The Ambivert will not do that. The Ambivert will look at the situation and not take sides. The Ambivert will do what is in the best interest of everyone.  The Ambivert being a peace maker will try to get both of her/his friends talking again. The Extrovert now becomes angry at you for not taking his/her side. " If you were really my friend you would have taken my side"  There is no logic to emotion. Believe me when Extroverts are on a roll, they have no logic.  


 Ambiverts do not like to hurt people on any level. There are times in the life of the Ambivert personality that hurting some else is just unavoidable. The Ambivert always feel badly after the fact. There have been a few times in my life when I have had that explosion and I have hurt someone. They did not pay attention to the warning signs, they kept pushing and pushing. That was a mistake they will not make a second time. Yet, after the confrontation, I felt bad. As I mentioned in the first article when the Ambivert explodes it is not a lovely sight.

Ambiverts are very independent personalities. They are very self sufficient. Ambiverts pride themselves on taking care of things on their own. They do not like to depend on others. Ambiverts can be and are very creative personalities. They can and will accomplish any task they are required to do. The Ambiverts face to the world is in what they do and how good they do it.

Ambiverts do not do well with rejection, ridicule, criticism or punishment. They will drive that emotional pain inward, they will blame themselves first, where as the Extrovert will drive that pain outward and blame you.  


Example; You may say to the Ambivert, gee! You gained a few pounds, the Ambivert will blame themselves for being lazy and not training hard enough.  As a side note, Ambiverts are consumed with being thin and staying in good shape.


The More Extroverted personality will say, Ya! If my wife cooked better food I would not have gained weight or I am working so many Goddam hours I only have time for junk food! Extroverts very rarely blame themselves for anything. The Extrovert could have had a salad everyday but has two Big Mack's, French Fries a Large Coke and lets not forget the little apple pie.  So much for self control.  


When getting into a relationship with an Ambivert male/female it is very important to understand that these personalities very rarely jump into an emotional or business relationship quickly. Now in all of the articles I have written here and on the Academy page I am talking about personality types who handle situations in a healthy non dysfunctional way. Extroverts are the norm for society, there are more Extroverts out there than there are Ambiverts. As I have stated, we all feel emotion the same but deal with our emotions differently.


The confusion and misunderstanding come into play when the more emotional Extrovert becomes involved with an Ambivert male or female. Extroverts are very quick to get involved in relationships because of their emotional make-up. If the Extroverted male /female likes you, they like you. They want you, they want you. They make no bones about how they feel.  With the Ambivert male or female they may like you as well but, the key word here is "But" you will have to prove yourself to them. They will want you to reassure them that you are who and what you say you are. These personalities do not want to expend and express their emotions on people who are not loyal,  honest and straight forward. Why? These personalities do not deal well with the emotional pain of a break-up, being double crossed, or cheated on. Extroverts do not like that behavior as well, but the extrovert can and does move on much faster than the Ambivert personality can in situations of this nature.


 So the Ambivert will test you, they will put you through their little imitation steps. They will watch and listen to everything you say and do. This testing phase may takes months. You had better not zig or zag during this testing phase. If you do, the Ambivert will cut you lose very quickly. You will not rush into a heated sexual relationship with an Ambivert quickly. First of all, they want to make sure you love, want and respect them for who and what they are, not that you want to get into their pants or run you hands up their skirt.

Believe me the Ambivert female is not impressed with macho, seeing a male with fifteen gold chains around their neck acting like a college frat boy. That does nothing for them. You work an Ambivert male/female from the head down, not the body up.  


Ambiverts want to remain in control of their emotions, as long as things are fun and there are no serious emotions being expressed during the early stages of a relationship the Ambivert is fine, it is when the Ambivert deep emotions come into play, when they are losing control of their emotions that you will see a shift in their behavior. You may feel or see a change, a shift in their fun loving behavior.

It is not that they do not love or want you anymore, the shift in their behavior is their fear of falling in love and getting hurt.  So after three - six months you may see a pull back from these personalities because their emotions are coming into play. They are starting to lose their emotional control.  So they will pull back to analyze the situation and to make sure they are not making an emotional mistake. Remember Ambiverts do not deal well with emotions. Strong emotions of the heart is terrifying to them. When they do feel that you love them and they accept you into their heart the Ambivert will give you all the love you can handle, they are loyal and trustworthy. They are as I mentioned,  "a one person" type of personality. Just remember, it takes time to get emotionally close to an Ambivert. Remember it is not "when you want, trust or love them" it is when "they want, trust or love you" that will be the deciding factor, and that will take time.


The Ambivert may have had a few very serious relationships in their life time, the more Extroverted personality will have had many serious relationships in the last month. Many of the more Extroverted personalities I know have been married three, four or five times already.

Many of the Ambiverts I know have not been married once yet.  If the Ambivert has been married and the marriage fell apart, it will be a cold day in hell before they rush into another one.


Ambiverts as well as the more emotional Extroverts in relationships have preferences. Ambivert males and females will go for a thinner body type. Ambiverts can be very sexual once they have found someone that they trust and feel safe and secure with. They can express their sexual want, need and desire once they feel the partner will not reject or ridicule them. This is very important for the female Ambivert. It will take her time before she will really lets her hair down.  Ambiverts are unlike the more emotional Extrovert who has had many  sexual encounters, partners and is more experienced sexually. The Extrovert is open to more experimentation and variety.


 With many Ambiverts you have to teach them. If they know you like your right ear rubbed they will rub your right ear all the time. Sometimes you have to tell them you have a left ear also.  Ambiverts have a tendency to be very predictable in everything they do, including sex. If the Ambivert male or female knows what you like they will do it. But they have a tendency to do the same thing all the time. The reason for this behavior is to reduce the possibility of rejection and ridicule. Also they want to please their partner or loved one.

Remember "what is in the best interest of everyone" this statement is involved in every aspect of the Ambiverts life. Ambiverts will always do what has worked for them in the past.

Does this mean Ambiverts are boring sexually? No it does not mean that at all. They have very intense sexual drives and can have some very intense sexual fantasies, the problem is it takes a very long time for them to express and act on them. Why? The fear of being rejected and ridiculed by their partner. If you are lucky enough to be let in on the Ambiverts sexual fantasies and you make light or laugh and ridicule them, the Ambivert will shut down. They can and will shut down sexually for months. It takes a very long time for the Ambivert personality to trust you, to let their hair down, to be themselves in your care. Do not take that for granted. If you do, believe me you will pay the price.  The Ambivert has to be in the mood for sex, you have to work them from the head down. You cannot just drop sex on them. They like to plan and have sexual encounters when it is appropriate. Once the bills are paid, work week is over and now they can relax and have fun and games. The last thing you want to do with the Ambivert when they are in work or study mode is drop sex on them. They will often times than not, look at you like your crazy.  


The more emotional Extrovert goes for a more full bodied male or female, they are more experienced sexually and go for a wide variety of sexual experiences. Extroverts are emotional, they are exhibitionists by nature, they love to be the center of attention. The more emotional Extrovert will have sex anytime. They want it, they want it.  For the Extrovert trying to have a quick sex romp in an elevator going from the first floor to the tenth floor is exciting and daring. It is emotional, they love it. Most Ambiverts would have a heart attack at the thought.  Ambiverts will express emotion when it is safe to do so. When involved with an Extrovert you never know what to expect, they are fun and daring. In the bedroom the more experienced Extrovert is never dull or boring. For the Extrovert it is one more kick after one more kick. With the Extrovert they have no problem expressing themselves, expect everything and anything.  

Extroverts will express emotion all the time and anytime.  


Extroverts spin the world around, life would be very boring without them. The Ambivert personality type keeps the world spinning on it's axis.



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Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE

 Red Flags

 I am asked by my clients time and time again "Tony what are the red flags I should be aware of when I meet a new person" There are many "red flags." If I were to pick one that I would say is my number one red flag, from a profiling standpoint, it would be what is called "love bombing." What is "love bombing?"

Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection. The phrase can be used in different ways. Members of the Unification Church of the United States (who reportedly coined the expression) use or have used it to convey a genuine expression of love, friendship, fellowship, interest, or concern. In a new relationship "love bombing" is used by all of the Dysfunctional Personalities I have profiled.

This tactic is also used by the psychopath in an attempt to disarm you and get you hooked emotionally to him/her. You have found the man or woman of your dreams, it will not be long before those dreams become a horror movie in which you are the star. Dysfunctional Personalities such as the borderline, borderline/narcissist, narcissist use "love bombing" as a way to get their "validation needs" met, to bolster their low self esteem. The psychopath uses it to get their "gratification needs" met. Such as your body, children, money, etc. They could care less about you. The only love they feel for you, is what they can extract from you. Once they have used you, they dump you like yesterdays trash.
 All of these personalities use "love bombing" but for different reasons. The outcome is the same you are hurt, emotionally, financially, physically. Relationships take time, with "love bombing" the personality wants the relationship to start off very quickly. You are overwhelmed with love, attention. You are idealized and put on a pedestal. After one or two dates this personality knows you, connects with you, you feel like you have know each other for years, your soul mate. Their love and concern for you during the "seduction phase" has your head spinning.

Beware of phrases in the early stages of a new relationship such as;

 I can't believe I've finally found someone like you.

I've never felt so comfortable in someone's company before, it is like I have know you my whole life.

You're the most beautiful woman (or man) I've ever seen. You have the most attractive (eyes, hair, body shape, smile, dimples).

I think I love you. I think I want to marry you. The key word is "think"

 I never got married before because I haven't found someone like you. We have so much in common.

 We are so much alike.

 He/she pressures you into becoming intimate in a short amount of time.

 Relationships take time, getting to know someone takes time, it does not happen over night. It does not happen after two or three dates. Love at first sight happens only in romance novels. Remember what I have taught you, consistent behavior over an extended period of time. If you should have any questions on profiling, please send me an e-mail on Ingenio. I will send you free time so I can talk.

Anthony Iantosca, BCFE
Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE


GASTON, S.C. - Dylann Roof

This pill popping low life who no one took seriously wanted his fifteen minutes of fame. These cowards always pick a area where there will be minimal resistance, a school, church, etc. These mass killers always commit their violent acts where they know they will not be confronted. This is what I call, a fear based personality. A fear based Narcissistic / Paranoid Personality Type who needed attention the only way he could, with a gun. Then he was powerful and in control for the first time in his life. Something he could not attain in the real world, in reality. There is always a triggering event that sets these fear based personalities off. Any rejection, criticism, ridicule would be enough.    My heart breaks for all those people who were killed for no other reason other than this nobody's claim to fame. He would become famous. "Remember me"!! He told one of the survivors. You were a nobody in the real world, a personality with low self esteem and self hatred that you took out on the innocent. Law Enforcement should have been flagged when he went into the mall twice, asking strange questions in a bed and bath. You need to be a competent observer of your environment at all times. Never, ever judge a person by their physical make up. Looks can be very deceiving with these personality types. Look at this little pipsqueak. God this breaks my heart. I do not want to hear any excuses for his killing of these innocent people who were praying, he had no reason to hate these innocent church going people. My heart goes out to their families and a community in shock.


Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE

Sexual Appetite 
Intensity requires intensity. Many times I receive calls from clients who ask me if they have a problem. Their partner has stated that they are sick and want sex all the time. Or the partner has stated that they are kinky and want to have sex in more colorful ways.   I ask three questions, is your sex drive, wants needs and desires causing you stress? Is causing an impairment of social/work functioning? Is it illegal?   If their answer is no , then there is nothing wrong with you. Each and everyone of us have wants/ needs and desires, what may excite you, may not excite me and what may excite me, may not excite you.
Each and everyone of us have a preference.  A form of selectivity. The main problem is the difference in the personalities intensity level (pressure/mental strength) A personality in the 2-3 pressure range is not going to have the same drive, want, need and desire as a personality in the 4-5-6 pressure range (intensity level).  The more intense the personality the more colorful their sexual appetite can and will be. A personality in the 2-3 to 3 1/2 pressure range may be able to handle a personality in the 4 pressure range but cannot relate to the personality in the 5-6 pressure range.  These personalities are intense in every aspect of their lives, they work hard, play hard and are intense sexually. Male or female it does not matter. Many times it is the woman who is a very intense personality, 4-5-6 pressure range who is married or dating someone who is a lighter pressure the she is.   
The male cannot relate to her drive. Many times the male ego comes into play and of course it must be her who has the problem. It is not me, I am normal. You are the crazy one. This is not the case at all. The woman is made to feel bad about herself, she is told she is over sexed, sick and has emotional problems. 
To make matters even worse, if the partner who has been made to feel badly or has been made to feel like he/she has a problem seeks out a Psychologist to speak with and the Psychologist is in the 2-3 to 3 1/2 trying to relate to a personality who is in the 5-6 pressure range, forget it.  That is never going to happen. You will walk out thinking you really have a problem.
Remember intensity requires intensity. Everyone returns back to their normal mode of behavior once the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over. If you and your partner are not equal in intensity (mental strength) these differences in intensity will manifest themselves at a later time and there will be problems or misunderstandings within the relationship.
So before you start second guessing yourself or have been made to feel badly, call me.  My Ex. is 01155 on Ingenio. I will send you five(5) free minutes so we can talk and go over my procedures. I look forward to speaking with you,

                                                 Anthony Iantosca, BCFE
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Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE


Part Three (3)

Casual Acquaintance Stalker 

Stalking does not have to involve an intimate relationship.   The relationship can be as minor as a casual interaction, such as a momentary conversation, a quick lunch together in a crowded restaurant, or a smile across a room.   These can all be interpreted as a romantic encounter by a potential stalker.   A large number of people every year become stalking victims because they felt sorry for someone and showed him or her compassion.  Befriending or even just being polite to a potential stalker can be exceedingly dangerous.  Stalkers often see any acts of kindness as a sign of the true love that they are convinced exists between them and their victims.

Very little interaction is needed with a potential casual acquaintance stalker in order to trigger a long-term stalking episode. Attempting to appease or ignore a stalker simply will not work.  Restraining and protective orders, though important and occasionally helpful, often don't work.  The stalker's belief that they and their victim(s) are meant for each other or, that "It is in the stars for them to be together" often overrides any fear these stalkers might have of the consequences of violating restraining or protective orders.

How dangerous can a stalker be who only knows the victim casually?   Very dangerous.  According to the Bureau of Justice, statistics report that 36% of all aggravated assaults against women in the country are committed by acquaintances or friends, as are 53% of the rapes and sexual assaults and 22% of homicides.  Many of these women had been stalked beforehand by these acquaintances or friends.


A very real danger with being stalked is that the victim must still work.  Finding a new place to live for a while may be difficult, but finding a new job or occupation, particularly when the victim has extensive education and training or has worked at their present job for a long time and accrued considerable seniority, just isn't easy, especially when the victim isn't sure just how dangerous the stalker is or can be.  Very few people will make such a radical life change as getting a new occupation because of threats by a casual acquaintance.  Subsequently, a stalker knows they can go to the victim's place of employment and likely find them there.   According to a former stalking victim, "A stalker knows if they can't catch you at home, they can catch you at work."

While it is tragic and disturbing that some people can begin their obsessive stalking on as small an initiative as the victim appearing to be kind and polite to them, this does not mean that people should stop being kind and polite to others.   It does mean, however, that you should be on the lookout for the signs of a potential stalker and take action immediately if you believe you may become a stalking victim.


Stranger Stalking


While being stalked by someone with whom the victim has had an intimate relationship, or by someone known to the victim who has perhaps attempted unsuccessfully to establish an intimate relationship, is frightening enough, at least the victim knows who the stalker is, what he or she is capable of, and what to likely expect.   Because the stalker is unknown to them, the stalking takes on a much more frightening feeling.  Because the stalker is unknown to the victim, the victim has no idea who to be on the lookout for, who to be careful of or around, and who to speak to and who to avoid.

Although the danger level connected with stranger stalking may not in actuality be higher, the stress level most certainly is. Most experts will tell you that stranger stalking can be one of the most terrifying of all stalking situations as experts don't know how to deal with it.

Often a stranger stalker suffers from erotomania; a mental disorder that causes the stalker to believe another person is in love with him or her.  Due to this disorder, a stranger stalker may fantasize either that they have had an intimate relationship with their victim or that their victim truly loves them and wants to have an intimate relationship with them.

According to Dr. Park Diets, "Erotomania is directed at both men and women, but more men act on the delusion."

Victim find themselves constantly asking, could the stalker be the stranger across the street, the person standing behind them in the store, or the driver of the car that seems to be following them? The victim has no idea who the stalker is, and also no idea what might happen. This unpredictability and uncertainty can be psychologically and emotionally crippling. The victim doesn't know the stalker's tendency for violence, what the stalker wants or more important, what the stalker plans to do.

Victims of stranger stalking often ask themselves, why me?   They search through their memories for any event that might have provoked this reaction from a stranger.  Many times the victims of stranger stalking are simply selected at random.

Occasionally victims of stranger stalking may eventually find out who their stalkers are.  Often, the stalker is completely unknown to them, sometimes they are just nodding acquaintances, and sometimes they are individuals who have had chance encounters with the victim.

With stalking incidents involving former intimate partners or even former acquaintances the victim knows the identity of the person they are dealing with. This is not the case with a stranger stalker.

What can you do against a stranger stalking you?  You can't ask the stalker's family to intercede, you can't have a friend or intimate partner threaten the stalker, and you'll have a hard time getting help from the criminal justice system.  You will often hear victims say that "officers always have a logical explanation and they think I'm the one who is delusional and crazy.  Let them live in my shoes for a week and then let them draw their own conclusion. How can I get a restraining order on someone when I don't even know who it is?"

Stranger stalking usually doesn't end with the violence of many intimate partner stalkings.  However, they are no less terrifying and disrupting.   Being stalked by a stranger can affect the way a person looks at others and at life in general.  Victims of stranger stalking often feel they can no longer smile at or be friendly with strangers or casual acquaintances and come to question the meaning of smiles given by others.  They stop being outgoing instead they become standoffish and self-protective.  They discover that their whole lives are changed.


Delusional Stalkers


They may have major mental illnesses like schizophrenia, manic-depression or erotomania.  What they all have in common is some false belief that keeps them tied to their victims.  Frequently they have had little, if any contact with their victims.

In erotomania, the stalker's delusional belief is that the victim loves him/her.  This type of stalker actually believes that he is having a relationship with his victim, even though they might never have met.

"The woman stalking David Letterman, the stalker who killed actress Rebecca Schaeffer and the man who stalked Madonna are all examples of erotomanic stalkers."

Another type of delusional stalker might believe that he is destined to be with someone, and that if he only pursues her hard enough and long enough, she will come to love him as he loves her.  These stalkers know they are not having a relationship with their victim, but firmly believe that they will some day.  John Hinckley Jr.'s obsession with Jodi Foster is an example of this type of stalker.

The typical profile of a delusional stalker is that of an unmarried and socially immature loner, who is unable to establish or sustain a close relationship with others.  They rarely date and have had few, if any, sexual relationships.   Since at the same time they are both threatened by and yearn for closeness, they often pick a victim who is unattainable in some way; perhaps she is married, or has been the stalker's therapist, clergyman, doctor or teacher.

Those in the helping professions are particularly vulnerable to delusional stalkers, because for someone who already has difficulty separating reality from fantasy, the kindness shown by the soon-to-be victim, the only person who has ever treated the stalker with warmth, is blown out of proportion into a delusion of intimacy.

What these stalkers cannot attain in reality is achieved through fantasy and it is for that reason that the delusion seems to be so difficult to relinquish. Even an imaginary love is better than no love at all.

Delusional stalkers have almost always come from a background which was either emotionally barren or severely abusive.  They grow up having a very poor sense of their own identities.  This, coupled with a predisposition toward psychosis, leads them to strive for satisfaction through another, yearning to merge with someone who is almost always perceived to be of a high status or very socially desirable.  It is as if this stalker says, "Gee.  If she loves me, I must not be so bad."


Serial Stalkers


Although many victims of stalking may feel that their stalkers have chosen them because they represent something unique and desirable, and that the stalker is fixated on and possessed with only them, this often isn't the case.  Detectives often find that if a complete background investigation is made into the stalkers past there are often other cases of prior stalkings.

What percentage of stalkers are serial stalkers?  Experts say that more than half of the stalkers in America have been involved in prior incidents of stalking.  Psychiatrists cannot accurately predict when the behavior will stop or re-occur but they know that about two-thirds of those showing obsessive behavior have had prior episodes.

Far too often, a look in into the past actions of a stalker can be a frightening glimpse into how the present stalking will end.

Frustrated serial stalkers don't have to have had an intimate relationship before they begin stalking their victim, and they may even stalk more than one victim of the same household at the same time.

Although stalking victims may desperately want to know why they were chosen as the victim, what they might have done to trigger a stalker's obsession with them, often, they find the answer is nothing.  They are just one of a serial stalker's many victims.  These stalkers are simply following a pattern of behavior they have practiced for years.  No matter what the reason or cause for the stalking, victims should be cautioned that serial stalkers in particular are very disturbed individuals.


False Stalking / False Victims


False victims, as they are sometimes known, use a variety of situations to attract attention to themselves.  In some cases they may harass their own family and friends in order to fabricate false evidence or witness reports.  This type of stalker firmly believes that he or she is the real victim.

In a sense there is a victim - the perpetrator.  Why victimize yourself?  Perhaps the person noticed how kind and considerate others were to them, when they presented themselves as a victim some time in the past.  In short - the perpetrator/victim takes immense pleasure from being cared for and being the center of attention. One very common trait of this type of stalker is to file false police report(s) against the "real stalking victim."

These stalkers are frequently delusional and irrational.  When presented with the facts, this type of stalker will rationalize and manipulate everything he can and ignore even a direct question, in order to preserve his fantasy of being the victim.  He will initiate conflicts and then twist them in his favor in an attempt to gain positive attention for himself.  He feels very inferior to the victim whom he admires greatly, although he will rarely admit this to be true.  In reality, this kind of stalker suffers from a severe lack of self-esteem.

This form of stalker, believing himself to be inferior, wronged or rejected by the ones they admire the most, begin harassing, following the victim, spreading tales, keeping tabs, and in many instances plot revenge.  The primary motive is to bring the victim down by any means he can.

Another trait that is showing up more and more in this type of stalking is Munchausen's (munch-how-zen) syndrome or in layman terms "The Munch Bunch."  This is the name given to patients who fake illness or obtain hospital treatment in order to get sympathy from family, friends, and most often the actual victim's attention.  These individuals are a considerable waste of medical resources.   Hospitals will often hold a file on these people in an attempt to recognize them before they are unwittingly admitted for unnecessary treatment.  The major problem is that they skip from hospital to hospital and doctor to doctor.

Time after time you'll hear a victim say, "The hospital called, he attempted suicide or he's having a heart attack because I wouldn't meet with him."   Far too often these individuals know how to "fake" illnesses or even go to the point of attempted suicide but knowing just how far to go before it becomes life threatening.  All to get attention!  



Source: "Violent Attachment, "by J. Reid Meloy, 1992, Jason Aronson Inc. Publishing.

Psychiatrists do not know how prevalent delusional erotomania is, but recently they've come to believe it is not as rare as originally thought.

Also called Clerambault Syndrome, after the French psychiatrist who first identified it in 1921, the disorder is diagnosed far more often in women.  The patient becomes fixated on a person and despite rebuffs, becomes convinced there is a romantic relationship.

It is most common in unmarried women who have few social skills, consider themselves unattractive and are employed in low-paying jobs.  They often are lonely and withdrawn.

Men with the disorder are more likely to become violent than women, particularly if they have a history of substance abuse or mental illness.

The person who is the object of the obsession often is more socially prominent and sometimes is a higher-paid colleague.  In some cases the person is a celebrity.

Source: ISE

What makes this type of stalker dangerous is their tendency to objectify their victims.   This means they will view a victim not as a human being, but as an object that they alone must possess and control.

The perpetrator may become aware of their victim through various forms of the media (cinema, television, radio, newspapers, etc.) and establishes a delusional fantasy in which they have a special or unique relationship with the victim.  These fantasies can be of an extreme sexual nature - sometimes reflected in the way the stalker attempts to communicate with the victim.  The stalker believes the victim is communicating with him or her using a secret code that only they know the meaning of.  Due to the nature of this type of stalker most victims will be the rich and famous.  In some cases the victim may simply look like someone famous. 



Cyberstalking is the use of computers or other electronic technology to facilitate stalking. A booming "spy shop" industry has sprouted up to supply Hi-tech equipment such as computer hacking or monitoring software, hidden cameras, microphones, and GPS tracking units. In Davis (2001), Lucks identified a separate category of stalkers who instead of a terrestrial means, prefer to perpetrate crimes against their targeted victims through electronic and online means.



The National Center for Victims of Crime

NCAVC The National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime

Obsession by FBI Profiler John Douglas and Mark Olshaker

Forensic Profiling Course by Ronald H. Rice



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Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE


Part Two (2)
In today's article, I will discuss the forms of stalking,  they fall into three (3) categories called;   Simple Obsession, Love Obsession, Other.
All stalkers share a few similar traits and behavior patterns, they are very , Jealous ( Insecure) personalities with Low Self Esteem.  As I wrote in my articles on Dysfunctional Personalities their behavior patterns are on a bell curve. Research shows that the Simple Obsession Stalker is the most dangerous type of stalker because their familiarity with their target. They have had some interaction with the target in a work or social situation. They may have dated or been in a relationship with the target and know where the target lives, works, parks their car. They know where the targets friends live or hangs out. This type of stalker has more personal information on their target than the Love Obsession Stalker has on a celebrity or famous personality.

 Both are dangerous when triggered, the difference being is the Simple Obsession Stalker has more information and access to their target.  Remember what I have stated before in my posts, "What a person projects and what they are in reality may be two entirely different matters" and " Behavior reflects personality"  Pay very close attention to the red flags. The first red flag, is the personality who comes on to quick, to fast. Calling or texting you many times during the day, showing up unannounced where you work or when you are out with your friends, leaving letters or gifts at your home or place of business. Acting in a jealous manner or acts very possessive when you are talking to a friend or co-worker. This behavior can happen after just meeting this person or only after a few dates. Personalities who have Stalking behavior can and many times do act as warm, friendly and compassionate people. Stalkers come from every ethnic background, many have good jobs and are sometimes viewed as pillars of their community. They may come across as very confident in  their "function" what they do for a living. You must pay close attention to how this personality feels about themselves. This takes time.  Not days, weeks or a few months. This behavior may start taking place even if you have no intention of dating the person or were never in a relationship with them. You may have just been kind or friendly to someone and  be just be enough for this Dysfunctional Personality to "Believe" and "Fantasize"  That there is more to your friendly, kind personality than that is based in "Reality" 

Almost all stalkers have some type of mental or emotional problem.   Stalkers will go across town, country, or even to different continents in order to continue their stalking.  Stable people simply do not continue, often in the face of years of rejection, to pursue someone.




I.        Simple Obsession Stalkers


These stalkers have previously been involved in an intimate relationship with their victims. Often the victim has attempted to call off the relationship but the stalker simply refuses to accept it. These stalkers suffer from personality disorders, including being emotionally immature, extremely jealous, insecure, have low self-esteem and quite often feel powerless without the relationship.

While reconciliation is the goal, this stalker believes they must have a specific person back or they will not survive.

The stalker of former spouses or intimate partners, are often domineering and abusive to their partners during the relationship and use this domination as a way to bolster their own low self esteem. The control the abusers exert over their partners gives them a feeling of power they can't find elsewhere. They try to control every aspect of their partner's lives. Their worst fear is losing people over whom they have control.

When they realize this fear as the relationship finally does end, the stalker suddenly believes that his/her life is destroyed. Their total identity and feelings of self-worth are tied up in the power experienced through their domineering and abusive relationship. Without this control, they feel that they will have no self-worth and no identity. They will become nobodies and in desperation they begin stalking, trying to regain their partner and the basis of their power.

It is this total dependence on their partner for identity and feelings of self worth that makes these stalkers so very dangerous. They will often go to any length and stop at nothing to get their partner back. If they can't have the people over whom they can exert dominance and total control, their lives are truly not worth living. Unfortunately, along with becoming suicidal, they also often want to kill the intimate partner who have left them.

Stalking does not always begin with violence or trying to terrorize, it usually starts with, "Can I just talk to you or meet with you one last time?" " If you just talk to me I'll leave you alone." According to experts, "He wants her back, and she won't come back." Everything escalates from there and sometimes he snaps and assaults or kills her. In his mind, he makes the decision, "If I can't have you, no one else will."   When he says this, he is attempting to cover his fear that she'll meet another man and leave him.  Far too often, the police find that these stalkers follow through on their threats, killing the victims and then many times committing suicide.  For them, death is better than having to face humiliation of the stalking victim leaving them for someone else, and the humiliation of having to face their own powerlessness.



II.   Love Obsession Stalkers


These are individuals who become obsessed with or fixed on a person with whom they have had no intimate or close relationship. The victim may be a friend, a business acquaintance, a person met only once, or even a complete stranger.

Love obsession stalkers believe that a special, often mystical, relationship exists between them and their victims.  Any contact with the victim becomes a positive reinforcement of this relationship and any wavering (even the slightest) of the victim from an absolute "NO" is seen as an invitation to continue the pursuit.

These stalkers will often read sexual meanings into neutral responses from the victim.  They are often loners with an emotional void in their lives.  Any contact with the object of the infatuation, even negative, helps fill this void.  Failed relationships are the rule among these individuals.

Many suffer from erotomania.  They have the delusion that they are loved intensely by another person, usually a person of higher socioeconomic status than them or an unattainable public figure.  They are totally convinced that the stalking victim loves them dearly and truly, and would return their affection except for some external influence.

During questioning, police find that most love obsession stalkers have fantasized a complete relationship with the person they are stalking.  When they attempt to act out this fantasy in real life, they expect the victim to return the affection.  When no affection is returned, the stalker often reacts with threats and intimidation.  When the threats and intimidation don't accomplish what they hoped, the stalker can often become violent and even deadly.


III.  Other Stalkers


Some stalkers harass their victim not out of love but out of hate. Occasionally, stalking becomes a method of revenge for some misdeed against the stalker, real or imagined.  Stalking can also be used as a means of protest.  This is the smallest group, but this type of stalking, for revenge and protest, can be especially dangerous.  There have been several killings by stalkers at abortion clinics, and mass murders around the country by employees who have been fired and then returned to stalk and eventually kill those who have fired them.



IV. Additional Information

Intimate Partner Stalkers


Once the relationship ends, this group of stalkers, fearing they will lose their identity and self-worth, often become desperate to re-establish the dominance and control they wielded during the relationship.  If they find this isn't possible they can become suicidal, homicidal or both.  According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics report Female Victims of Violent Crime, in 29 % of all violence against women by a lone offender the perpetrator was an intimate.  Women are about seven times more likely than men to experience violence committed by an intimate, and female victims of violence by an intimate are more often injured seriously enough to require medical attention than are females victimized by a stranger.  Intimate partner stalking can end in much worse than just injury.  It can end in death if the stalkers cannot regain the control they so intensely and desperately need.

Many intimate partner stalkers who have spent years dominating and controlling their partner simply cannot face the prospect that the people they've controlled for so long have successfully gotten away -- have proven themselves stronger than the stalkers. One former stalker wrote in his diary, "I couldn't live with myself thinking or knowing she had won, or she got me. No! This is war." Tragically his victim was murdered.

According to Linden Gross in her book To Have or to Harm, "We all have problems with rejection, especially if we're emotionally invested in a relationship.  For the majority of us, however, rejection doesn't imply devastation.  Even though the pain, however excruciating, our identities stay intact, our sense of self-worth bruised, perhaps, but still operational.   This isn't so, however, for intimate partner stalkers.  Because of their need for total control over someone, when the relationship breaks up their world is devastated.   Their personality disorders won't allow them to accept rejection."


While this kind of stalker may or may not have psychological disorders, all clearly have personality disorders.  A few of these personality disorders, according to the National Victim Center include:

          1.   Socially maladjusted and inept

          2.   Emotionally immature

          3.   Often subject to feeling of powerlessness

          4.   Unable to succeed in relationship by socially acceptable means

          5.   Jealousy bordering paranoia

          6.   Extremely insecure about themselves

      7.   Often suffering from low self esteem


According to experts, intimate partner stalkers can be the most dangerous types of stalker because they often have a history of violence against their victim, and consequently feel totally uninhibited about using more or heightened violence in an effort to get them back.  The stalkers know that violence has worked for them in the past, and so they have no reason to believe that it won't work again.  Also, intimate partner stalkers know their victim well: their family, their place of employment, their recreational activities, and so forth.  They know where to find their victim.

Intimate partner stalkers, because of the dominance and control once held over their victim, often have the mind set that the victim is their property, to do with as they wish, and to reclaim in any way they see fit.  And, believing that their lives won't be worth living if they can't recapture the victim as their property, they often feel they have nothing to lose by using extreme measures.  Consequently, these stalkers feel totally justified in doing just about anything in an effort to regain control over the victim.  Since the stalker believes the victim belongs to them, they show no regard for restraining orders, and may instead be infuriated by them, feeling they are being denied their God-given rights.

One victim best sums it up.  "When you know a person is capable of anything, and he also feels he has nothing to lose, you'd better be scared of him. He'll kill you."

Researches have now found that intimate partner stalking often follows a three-phase cycle.


Phase One - The Tension Building Phase


This can include such things as making hundreds of telephone calls and sending dozens of letters, showing up wherever the victim is, casual surveillance of the victim, and following the victim wherever they go.  However, when these actions don't accomplish what the stalker wants, the tension builds, and eventually the stalker may begin making threats, vandalizing property, and instituting more forceful attempts to make the victim give in to their demands.


Phase Two - The Violence Phase


Once the stalker realizes that their efforts in the first phase have failed, they often resort to violence against not only the victim but also the victim's friends, family and often times co-workers.  This can include angry face-to-face confrontations, physical assaults (including rape), kidnapping, and in extreme cases murder.


Phase Three - The Hearts and Flowers Phase


The stalker reverts back to the less violent tactics, and will often either beg forgiveness for the violence or appear to abandon the stalking altogether. Unfortunately, any cessation is usually only temporary.  This pause in the stalking can actually be an extremely dangerous period because many times the victim falsely believes that the nightmare is over, and consequently lets down his/her guard.  They then can be caught unprepared and unprotected when the stalking suddenly begins again, often violently.

An important point for a victim or potential victim of intimate partner stalking to remember about this cycle of stalking is that it is not uniform or predictable. Stalkers can move through the phases fairly rapidly, at times changing from being loving to brutal in only seconds. For other stalkers, it may take years to move from one phase to another, and some may never move out of the first phase.  Most important, because a stalker may cycle from being a minor nuisance to a physical threat extremely rapidly, intimate partner stalking victims must always be on guard.

Intimate partner stalkers are typically known as the guy who "just can't let go."  These are most often men who refuse to believe that a relationship has really ended.  Often, other people - even the victims - feel sorry for them.  But they shouldn't.  Studies show that the vast majority of these stalkers are not sympathetic, lonely people who are still hopelessly in love but were in fact emotionally abusive and controlling during the relationship.  Many have criminal histories unrelated to stalking.  Well over half of stalkers fall into this "former intimate partner" category.

In these types of cases, the victim may, unwittingly encourage the stalker by trying to "let him down easy," or agreeing to talk to him or meet with him just one more time. Victims need to understand that there is no reasoning with a stalker.  Just the fact that stalking - an unreasonable activity - has already begun illustrates this fact.  When the victim says, "I don't want a relationship now", the stalker hears, "She'll want me again tomorrow."  When she says, "I just need some space," he hears, "If I just let her go out with her friends, she'll come back."  "It's just not working out," is heard as "We can make it work out."  In blatant words, the only thing to say to the stalker is "NO". Do not give explanations, do not give time limits and do not give the stalker any room to maneuver.


As a victim you should say "NO" once and only once.  And then, never say anything to him/her again If a stalker

can't have his victim's love, he'll take his/her hatred or her fear.  The worst thing in the world for the stalker is to be ignored.   Example: "Think of a small child.  If they are not getting the attention they want, they will act out and misbehave because even negative attention is better than none at all."  Former intimate partner stalkers have their entire sense of self-worth caught up in the fact that, "she loves me."  Therefore, any evidence to the contrary is seen as merely an inconvenience to overcome. Since giving up the victim means giving up the stalkers self-worth, they are very unlikely to do so. Say "NO" only once - Don't help the stalker hang on.


Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE

Part one (1)

This series of articles I am going to write is about Stalking. I feel that it is very important that you have a good understanding of this complex and dangerous behavior pattern. The information in these articles was  compiled by the National Center for Victims of Crime and the NCAVC, the National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime. The FBI has stated that one out of every twenty four women and one out of forty five men are the victims of stalking. Stalking can and does take on different behavior patterns. There is no one size fits all category. Many stalkers can and sometimes do evolve from one stalking behavior pattern to another. Many stalkers have more than one of the behavior patterns listed below in their stalking behavior patterns. Some stalkers can and do have co-morbid crossovers of two, three and four of stalking behaviors listed. 




Types of Stalkers

Stalkers come from every walk of life and every socio-economic background. Virtually anyone can be a stalker, just as anyone can be a stalking survivor.  There are some general categories that stalkers fit into.

Remember: Even though there are general categories of stalkers, that does not mean that every stalker will fit neatly into a category. Stalkers can have any characteristics and come from any type of background.


Rejected Stalker

Motivation: This type of stalker begins to stalk after their partner (romantic or close friendship) has ended their relationship or indicates that they intend to end the relations.  This type of stalker wants to be in a relationship with the survivor again or seek revenge on the survivor.  The stalker's goals may vary, depending on the Reponses of the survivor.

Personality: This type of stalker may have high levels of narcissism and jealousy.  This type of stalker may also have feelings of humiliation, over-dependence, and/or poor social skills and a resulting poor social network.

Stalking Behaviors: This type of stalker is often the most persistent and intrusive type of stalker and is more likely to employ intimidation and assault in pursuit of their survivor.  A history of violence in the relationship with the partner is not uncommon.

Duration and Criminality: This type of stalker is typically the most resistant to efforts aimed at ending their stalking behavior.


Resentful Stalker

Motivation: This stalker wants to frighten or distress their survivor and often stalks their survivor to get revenge against someone who has upset them.  This type of stalker views their survivor as being similar to those who have oppressed or humiliated them in the past and may view themselves as a survivor striking back against an oppressor.

Personality: This type of stalker is often irrationally paranoid.

Survivor Characteristics: This type of stalker often stalks survivors that may have upset them directly or are representative of a group at which they are upset.  The survivor may be someone that the stalker knows or a complete stranger.

Stalking Behavior: This type of stalker can be the most obsessive and enduring type of stalker.  This type of stalker is most likely to verbally threaten their survivor and is one of the least likely to physically assault their survivor.

Duration and Criminality: This type of stalker is likely to stop stalking if confronted with legal sanctions early on.  The longer the stalking continues, the less effective legal sanctions are likely to be.


Predatory Stalker

Motivation: This type of stalker stalks their survivor as part of a plan to attack them, usually sexually, and is motivated by the promise of sexual gratification and power over the survivor.

Personality: This type of stalker often has poor self-esteem, poor social skills (especially in romantic relationships), and may have lower than normal intelligence.

Survivor Characteristics: This type of stalker may stalk someone they know or a complete stranger.

Stalking Behaviors: This type of stalker usually does not harass or try to contact their survivor while they are stalking.  This type of survivor may engage in behaviors such as: surveillance of the survivor, obscene phone calls, exhibitionism, fetishism, and voyeurism.

Duration and Criminality: This type of stalker may stalk for a shorter period of time than other types of stalkers and has a higher potential to become physically violent with the survivor.


Intimacy Seeker

Motivation: This type of stalker seeks to establish an intimate, loving relationship with the survivor and may believe that the survivor is in love with them.  This is a delusion.  The stalker believes that the survivor may be the only person who can satisfy their desires and sees the survivor as an ideal partner.  The stalker may interpret any kind of response from the survivor, even negative responses, as encouragement and may believe the survivor owes them love because of all they have invested in stalking the survivor  This type of stalker is very resistant to changing their beliefs about the survivor's love for them.

Personality: This type of stalker is often a shy and isolated person and often lives along and lacks any sort of intimate relationship in their life.

Survivor Characteristics: This type of stalker may stalk acquaintances or complete strangers.

Stalking Behaviors: If the stalker recognizes they are being rejected by the survivor, they may become threatening or violent.  This type of stalker may engage in behaviors such as: writing letters to the survivor; calling the survivor on the phone; or sending the survivor gifts.  The stalker may become jealous if the survivor enters or continues a romantic relationship with another person.

Duration and Criminality: This type of stalker is among the most persistent type of stalker, harassing longer than any type except the rejected stalker.  The stalker is usually unresponsive to legal sanctions because they view them as challenges to overcome that demonstrate their love for the survivor.


Incompetent Suitor

Motivation: This type of stalker is motivated by a desire to start a romantic relationship with the survivor and is impaired in his social skills.

Personality: This type of stalker may be cut off from the survivor's feelings and believe that any person should be attracted to them.

Survivor Characteristics: This type of stalker usually stalks acquaintances, but may stalk complete strangers.

Stalking Behaviors: This type of stalker typically engages in behaviors such as: repeatedly asking for dates even after being rejected; repeatedly calling on the phone; and trying to hold the survivor's hand or kiss the survivor.

Duration and Criminality: This type of stalker stalks for shorter periods, on average, than any other type of stalker and has likely stalked others in the past.  This stalker will usually quickly stop stalking if confronted with legal action or after seeking counseling.


Erotomania and Morbidly Infatuated

Motivation: This type of stalker believes that they are loved by the survivor even though the survivor has done nothing to suggest this is true and may have made statements hat they do not and never will love the stalker.  The stalker reinterprets what the survivor says and does to support their belief that the survivor love them and makes the imagined romance with the survivor the most important part of their life.

Personality: This type of stalker may suffer from acute paranoia and/or delusions.

Survivor Characteristics: This type of stalker usually chooses survivors of a higher social class.

Stalking Behaviors: This type of stalker repeatedly tried to approach and communicate with the survivor.

Duration and Criminality: This type of stalker may sometimes respond well to psychological treatment and is typically unresponsive to threats of legal action short of time behind bars.  Without psychological treatment, they are likely to continue stalking the survivor after they are released.


More tomorrow in part two (2)

Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE


The Subconscious mind reacts, it does not reason nor rationalize. Strong Emotions is the glue that anchors our auto-biographical memories of past events in our Hippocampus. When a true past "Event" is recalled into our conscious awareness the emotion attached to that "Event" also is felt and relived. Those Emotions should be expressed and seen in body language tells such as fear, sadness, anger, guilt, disgust, contempt, happiness and the pacifying behaviors both "positive or negative" should be expressed with the related emotions being felt. When the person is creating a story from "Logic" those emotions will be absent. The person who is making up a story is not reliving a true past "Event" so there are no emotions to something that has never happened. So the related emotions and pacifying behaviors will be absent or very shallow and contrived.

Many times when reading a persons story of an attack, rape, assault or other auto biographical memories my first analysis is to read the statement and determine is the "Event" coming from memory or is the "Event" being created from "Logic" and deceptive. One of the many deceptive markers I look for is misplaced emotions. In my past posts on Statement analysis I have explained the "Before, During , After" called BDA ratios. These ratios should have a (17-25% Before) (50 % During) and (25-33% After). When I am analyzing a statement for content, the story should have the above mentioned balanced BDA ratios.
When a person is creating a story from "Logic" they will put their emotions where they "think" they should be to make their made up story sound believable. Those emotions are always placed in the "During" part of their narrative that is an indication that the story is coming from "Logic" and being created and deceptive.
In a true "Event" statement the emotions should be placed in the "After" portion of the statement. That is when the person has time to reflect on what has just happened and their true emotions will be expressed

Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
Deception Detection
Text Messages
I read a very interesting article today on text messages. The article was stating how to determine if the person sending the texts is being honest with you. Much of the article was accurate But "Behold the Underling Truth". First, before you state the person is being deceptive when texting you, we must first determine what is the texter's Linguistic Style and what were the Circumstances. Was the texter in a rush?, in a car?
 Text messages must be analyzed somewhat differently than a written/typed Alibi or Event statement. Texters have their own way of expressing themselves when sending a text. This is the primary reason that analyzing text messages for deception is so difficult.  It is of the upmost importance to have many texts from the personality to determine their Texting/Linguistic style. We need  their  "Base Line" The personalities Texting/Linguistic style.  Many personalities when texting have their own unique Linguistic Style. For example; Many people cannot Capitalize the Personal Pronoun "I" on their phone, many times you will see a small Capitol "i"  In Statement Analysis a Lower case "I"  is the same as having no "I"
 No "I" would show lack of commitment to the statement.  Yet, this may not be the case in this text. You would need to compare many texts from the personality and see consistency or a lack there of. Also does the texter use both a Capitol and Lower case "I" If so than you have more information to analyze.  Example; if the person sending the text uses a Capitol "I" and than changes to a lower case "I" where in the narrative did his/her "Lack of Commitment" show up within their statement? This would be a "Red Flag"  This "Red Flag" would tell you to ask additional questions regarding his/her lack of commitment to your question. If the personality continues to be equivocal regarding your question than we have an issue that needs further explanation.
Text messages many times than not are very short and to the point. Many times over the years when I analyzed text messages the text message did not resemble the English language.  When I analyze a text for a client, I want all of the text messages that he/she has received to acquire a "Base Line"  of that personalities texting style. Than I look for deviations from that "Base Line"   
Remember when attempting to detect deception you need more than one deceptive marker to be accurate in your analysis.
If you have any questions regarding Statement Analysis in text messages, e-mails, written or verbal  communication please contact me on Ingenio my Ex. is 01155. I will be more than happy to talk to you.  Send me an e-mail on Ingenio and I will send you five free minutes so we can talk. 
                                                   Anthony Iantosca, BCFE      
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
Catching Monsters
The Criminal Profilers catch monsters, they have the What, Why, When, Were and How. They try to find the "Who"  A crime has already been committed. Their job is to find the "Who" so the criminal does not inflict more pain and suffering on another innocent.
Threat Assessment Profilers have the, Who, Why, What, Where and How. I try to prevent the "When"  That is what makes Profiling so difficult and emotionally draining. When I talk to a client who has fallen in love with this wolf in sheep's clothing, I know what I am dealing with,  I know what is coming when the honeymoon phase is over. Trying to explain and warn the client of this personalities potential for violent, aggressive and sexually dangerous behavior is not an easy task. Many times the client will rationalize the behavior of their new love interest. The will yell, scream and argue with me, calls me names. State that it was something they did to cause the problems. It was not his/her fault. It was my fault Tony! Yet, they keep calling me back. They are picking up something a certain behavior pattern that their new love interest is now showing and expressing that just does not seem right. A change from the once loving, caring and sexually compassionate personality they once were, to something or someone totally different. The client will rationalize everything, he will change, I will try harder. He will return back to his normal self again. No I say, this is their normal behavior pattern. This is the real person.    
Many of these emotional vampires are very sadistic, emotionally, physically and sexually. In the early stages of the relationship they will come across as very self confident, True Alpha males. They can be very engaging, fun, warm and charming, the life of the party. A very will practiced act. They have that little bad boy way about them.  You think that you will fix them. You are not going to fix them, if you think you are, you are only fooling yourself.
Beneath that well crafted persona is a very insecure, jealous, deceptive, egotistical, sensitive, moody, self serving individual who will do everything to destroy in you, what they do not possess in themselves.
They have to destroy you, to feel superior to you, they must destroy you. They are very good at gas lighting you. Before long you are second guessing yourself.  True Alpha males and females will work with you, love you for who and what you are, be proud of you and your accomplishments. They will encourage you, respect you. They do not enter the relationship looking for what you can give them. They will ask for your opinion. They will work with you, not against you.   Why do true Alphas act different? Because they have real confidence in themselves.  These emotional vampires do not.
The calls keep coming in, one after another. The crying, yelling and the emotional confusion. Sometimes the brutality. That is  what takes the most out of me, the pictures of these lovely women, bruised and battered. Yet, I hear the same statements over and over again, " Tony, why didn't I listen to you" I try to explain to them these personalities can fool the professionals. You go into the relationship with an open heart, these personalities do not have one. You go into the relationship wanting to build a relationship, they take victims.  
With these Vampires it is all about Domination, manipulation and control.  Remember these words I have on my web page;

 If you have any questions please feel free to call me on my site on Ingenio my Ex. is 01155. I will be more than happy to talk with you and answer any questions you may have. Send me a e-mail and I will send you five (5) free minutes so we can talk.
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