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 Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI
 

Statement Analysis

  Part Two (2)

 BDA Ratios
 
What are BDA RATIOS? When analyzing a statement the BDA ratios are very important to the Analyst/Examiner in determining if the statement is coming from a true Auto Biographical Memory of an event or is the person in question constructing the event from logic. The analyst will add the number of words used in the B=Before, D=During, A=After portion of the incident in question. First the Analyst/ Examiner will ask an open ended question, such as "Tell me everything you did yesterday" or "Tell me everything you did last night from 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM"  The person in question will write everything he/she did. I will give him/her a pen not a pencil and I will explain to the person if you make a spelling error just draw a single line through the word. The person will in his/her own words will tell us everything they did or did not do. The examiner will leave and not ask any questions nor put the person under any pressure while he/she is writing their statement. When the statement is finished the Examiner will analyze their statement for content.  People mean exactly what they say and every word used has a meaning. I begin by looking at Pronouns and the lack there of, Changes in Language, Verb Tenses, Articles such as "a, an, the"  Up grades or Down grades of a person, place or thing, and BDA ratios just to name a few. Today I will explain the meaning of BDA Ratios     
 
The BDA ratios help the examiner to determine if the writer is recalling the incident from memory or constructing the incident from logic. All truth comes from memory, the incident in question should be well balanced. The "B" Before portion of their statement is what was happening before the incident took place and should be between 17-25% of the statement. The "D" During portion of the incident is when the action/crime took place and should be 33% - 50% of the story. The "A" After portion of the incident is when the action has finished and when the writer has had time to reflect on what has taken place, should be between 25-33%.

It is in the "A" After portion of the incident that true emotions will be expressed. In a deceptive statement the writer will often put emotions in the wrong portion of their statement. They put emotions where they think they should be, most often these emotions will be placed in the "D" During portion of their incident/statement.
When the BDA ratios are out of balance there is a very good possibility the writer is constructing the story from logic and is making up the story.
Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI

Statement Analysis
Up Grades/ Down Grades/ A Change of Language
 
I was asked by one of my clients if I would explain what Up Grades / Down Grades mean in a statement?
 In a statement we look to see how people,  objects and locations are introduced and when they are introduced within a written or oral statement. When talking about a person for the first time a proper introduction is expected so the reader knows who you are talking about. Such as my wife Susan, or my girlfriend, my sister my mother, etc.  When a persons name just enters a statement without a proper introduction we do not know who the writer is talking about. This would flag the Examiner that there is the possibility a poor relationship exists between the two people. Now we look for changes in language, a change in language is a change in the writers reality. For example in the following statement the writer wrote;
 
" I got up and took a shower and got ready to go to work, I went back to "our" bedroom to say goodbye to Susan.  I left "the" bedroom shorty thereafter and went to work it was about 7:30 AM, I returned home after work and found Susan in "my" bedroom dead. I called the Police and that is all I can say". 
 
The down grade in his statement is he went from "Our" bedroom to "The bedroom" to "My bedroom"  This is very telling. Also who is Susan? She was never given a proper introduction. This would indicate a poor relationship between the two of them. We also have the statement "To Say Goodbye" that does not mean he "Said Goodbye"  The words "Shortly thereafter it was about 7:30 AM" is not an exact time reference. This tells me there is a block of missing time in his narrative. We would want to know how much time it took for him to say goodbye and how long he spent with Susan and what time he left for work and what time he arrived at work. The words "All I can say" Tells me he is limited by what he wants to say, a better sentence would have been  " That is all I know" In this statement he is limited by his knowledge.   
Many times a perpetrator of a crime will unknowingly put the time of the crime within their statement as was the case in this instance.
The Down Grades in his statement was, "Our bedroom" to "The bedroom" to  an Up Grade to "My bedroom" When he arrived back home from work.  The time of 7:30 AM is when his language changed from "Our bedroom" to "The bedroom"  There he was distancing himself from the bedroom, we would want to know why. When he came home from work he now calls the bedroom "My bedroom"  from  "The bedroom" This Up Grade  is even worse.
It is no longer "Our Bedroom" only his "My bedroom".  This man admitted to killing Susan before he went to work. Susan was his wife.
Down Grades are very important within a statement and when the Down Grades took place.
 
Down Grades such as;  "My room" to "the room", "My girlfriend to the girlfriend" or a name that enters a statement without a proper introduction.   The reason for this is people find it very hard to admitting to hurting a family member. Many times the person will distance themselves from the close tie by changing the language from "My wife" or "My Girlfriend" to using their wife or girlfriend first name "Susan" 
 Down Grades  such as "My home" to "The house" Down Grades  would include people, objects and locations.   Remember a change in language is a change in reality. This change will prompt the Examiner to ask additional questions as to why there was a change in their language and why this change took place.  
Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI
Nonverbal Communication
Part Two (2) 
 
When describing Nonverbal Communication/Behaviors there are  words that mean the same thing. I will explain these words and there meanings to you now to avoid confusion later in my Articles. There are certain words that have very specific meanings which I will explain to you as we go along. I use the word "Tell"  Because these  Nonverbal Behaviors "Tell" us about the person's true state of mind what the body is "Telling and Expressing /Communicating" to us".  The word "Cue" also means the same thing what the body is "Cueing" us in on.  Many times you will see words in books or hear different terminology in a video or TV show  when a Body language expert  is explaining body language behaviors and they use different terminology, the words used sound different  but the meanings are the same. Body Language Experts will use their own terminology  such as, Adaptors, Manipulators, Tells, Cues, Gestures, Postures . Nonverbal Communication/ Body Language is a means of transmitting information , just like a spoken word except it is achieved through facial expressions, gestures, touching (haptics), physical movements (kinesics) posture, body adornments ( cloths, jewelry, hairstyle, tattoos. The tone and volume of an individual's voice. (rather than the spoken content) Nonverbal Communication comprise approximately sixty to sixty five percent of all interpersonal communication.  (Burgoon, 1994, 229-285) (Navarro, 2007, 4-5) 
 
Comfort/Discomfort and Pacifying Behaviors" 
 
The limbic System the Emotional brain does not reason or rationalize it reacts to the world around us in real time. The prime directive of the limbic system is to ensure our survival as a species. The Limbic system is programed to make us secure by avoiding danger or "Discomfort" and seeking safety and "Comfort" Nonverbal Behaviors can be very binary. You or the personality you are engaged with is either in a state of "Comfort"  (Well being, relaxed, not in a state of stress) Or in a state of "Discomfort"  ( Stressed, worried, in fear, feeling very uncomfortable or uneasy)    The Limbic System "Leaks" this information in the form of body language tells/behaviors called  "Pacifiers"  These "Pacifying behaviors" Will be congruent with those feelings either Positive "Comfort" or Negative "Discomfort".  
It is very important to remember that when you are attempting to decode Nonverbal Behaviors you must decode the Nonverbal Body Language "tells/cues"  according to the context of the situation you are in.   
This is the prime reason why there is so much confusion when people are attempting to decode Nonverbal Behaviors and are confused to there meaning. This is why "Context" is such very important rule to remember. One "Tell" is not the same for all situations.
For example; You may read or hear that a person who is rubbing their ear or touching their face is a sign of stress or even worse, is lying. This is not the case at all, first what is the "Context" of the situation you are in?
If it is a social setting and the person is exhibiting other Nonverbal Behaviors that are congruent with "Comfort' This would be considered a "Positive Pacifier" The Personality is enjoying the experience and the "Pacifying Behaviors" are heightening their experience by releasing very powerful brain peptides Dopamine and Oxytocin by touching or "Pacifying themselves. On the flip side of the coin, if you see these very same Nonverbal Behaviors when the personality is under a stressful situation such as a job interview, meeting a date for the first time, answering questions regarding a situation they were involved in etc. These same "Pacifying Behaviors" Are  the Limbic Systems response to a stressful situation and the "Pacifying Behaviors" seen are a sign of "Discomfort" or a negative "Pacifier" The same brain peptides are being released by the Limbic Systems in an  effort to calm the personality down and  to restore the personality/ body to a state of comfort again.
A hard and fast rule when decoding Nonverbal behaviors is " What is the context of the situation you are in" Without context you will misread the "tells" that the body is telling/saying to you.      
More on Context in part three (3) 
   
Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI
Love can be painful
 
 
Before I finish my Articles on Nonverbal Communication I wanted to write this short Article on why love can be so painful at times. This is for  my clients who are going through difficult times right now, this information should help you understand why you feel the way you do during a relationship and when it ends.
 
  Why do I feel the way I do? what drives my behavior?
The reason for this is very simple. The brain. The subconscious mind has no conception of time, it does not reason or rationalize. Every time you bring up a memory from the area of your brain  called the Hippocampus where these auto biographical memories are stored the emotions attached to them both positive and negative come up with the memory. The strong emotions is what helps us to remember our past experiences .   The chemicals released by the brain called peptides are very addictive to our brain cells. The cells in our brain do not care if the peptide is a good one a positive memory or bad peptide a negative memory. The cells are addicted only to the intensity of the peptide. Just like a drug addict who need it's next fix. The cells wants more and more which leads many people to obsessive thoughts. Remember right now the feelings and emotions you have are a natural process when experiencing a loss. You must do everything in your power to do things that will help get your mind off thinking about the past and focus on yourself. Think about his/her behavior right now and how he/she is acting very immature in how they are acting towards you. No one can validate you, only you can. When you rely on others to make you feel better about yourself it is ripe for disaster Your strong, your smart. Yes it is painful right now, it will subside when you start to understand that how other peoples treatment towards you is not a true test of your self worth or you  as a person. Remember we can not change the past or how people have treated us, we can only learn from it and not let it happen again.  
 
 
 
A great Article on the brain and the Peptide release when in and out of love. I hope it will help many of you get a better understand of the process that drives our behavior. From my research on the brain in love.
 
It's over." Those two words have inspired a million weepy songs and films (and at least 100-times that many hysterical texts). But while you're probably feeling the ache in your chest, research shows the real s*#$-storm is taking place in your brain. From a crazed complexion to "take me back!" behavior, here's how messes with your head.

When Your Love Leaves
Feeling in love causes your brain to flood with dopamine, a feel-good chemical that lights up your noodle's reward centers and makes you feel on top of the world. (This same chemical is associated with drugs like cocaine.) But when you lose the object of your affection, your brain's reward centers don't immediately power down, shows research from Rutgers University. Instead, they keep craving those reward chemicals-just like a drug addict who wants more but can't have it.

 

The same study found those gotta-have-more responses spur activity in other regions of your brain related to motivation and goal-targeting. Those, in turn, override the parts of your noodle that hold your emotions and behavior in check. As a result, you'll do anything-or at least, plenty of embarrassing things-to get your "fix." This explains why you'll drive by his house, stalk his friends, or otherwise act like a loony tune in the immediate aftermath of a breakup. Put simply, you're a love junkie and your former partner is the only thing that will satisfy your brain's cravings, the research indicates.

At the same time, studies from Johns Hopkins University show your heartbroken brain experiences a huge dump of stress and fight-or-flight hormones (adrenaline and cortisol, mostly), which can mess with your sleep, your heart rate, your complexion, and even your immune system. You're more likely to catch a cold during a breakup. You're also more likely to break out. (Fun!)

Feeling the Burn
The same parts of the brain that fire when you are physically injured also light up when you're hurting emotionally, shows research from the University of Michigan. Specifically, when people experienced a burn akin to holding a hot cup of coffee without a sleeve, the secondary somatosensory cortex and the dorsal posterior insula lit up. The same areas fired when those people thought about their recently departed partners. Some studies have shown feeling deeply happy and in love can actually reduce the pain you experience from a physical injury. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true: Physical pains hurt more if you're also suffering from a broken heart.

Long-Term Love Lost
More research shows that, among long-time couples, the neurological effects of love-and the aftermath of a breakup-are more profound. Brain scientists understand that anything you do, from reading to walking down the street, creates or strengthens the neurological pathways and connections in your head related to that behavior. And studies suggest that, in the same way, your brain develops pathways linked to living alongside your love. The longer you're with your partner, the more those pathways spread and strengthen, and the more difficult it will be for your noodle to operate normally if your love is suddenly absent, the research indicates.

Not too comforting (or surprising): Studies have found time is among the only remedies for all of these breakup-induced brain reactions. Another possible cure for love sickness, according to some research? Falling in love again.


Research from Rutgers University
Johns Hopkins University
 
 
Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI

Nonverbal Communication
Part one (1)


Body language / non verbal communication is a very accurate diagnostic tool when you understand how the human brain deals with a positive, stressful or threatening situation.  The old terminology for describing the Human Brain was left brain / right brain.  In 1952, a scientist named Paul MacLean began to speak of the human brain as a Triune Brain consisting of three brains working together as a command and control center. They are:

Reptilian (stem) brain
Mammalian (limbic) brain
Neo Cortex (human) brain

The Limbic mammalian brain plays the largest role in the expression of nonverbal behavior. This part of the brain acts like a radar system that is on seven days a week. When the Limbic brain experiences a positive, negative or threatening situation it leaks this information in the form of body language tells/cues congruent with those feelings, positive & negative. These body language cues are expressed instantaneously and without thought. These expressions manifest physically in our faces, our eyes, forehead, mouth, neck, etc. Our torso, arms, hands, fingers, etc. Also in our feet and legs.

The old and outdated terminology still used to this day was called the "Fight or Flight" response this is half right and somewhat backwards. The brain's response to any threatening situation takes three forms, the FREEZE, FLIGHT, FIGHT response.  When one response is found to be inadequate, the Limbic System will move quickly to the next response, until the system feels the threat has passed. The body language Tells/Cues that follow will tell us which response the Limbic System has chosen to defend itself, and has returned the body back into a safe and secure frame of mind. The nonverbal behaviors that follow will help us to understand a person's thoughts, feelings, and intentions. The Limbic System / Brain is called our true brain. Why? it is the part of our Brain that reacts to the world around us reflexively and instantaneously, in real time without thought  and is the most accurate when detecting body language cues.  These Limbic survival responses go back to our ancestry as a human species. These responses are hardwired into our nervous system, making them difficult to disguise or eliminate.  

The Neo-cortex or human brain is our thinking, creative brain. The Neo-cortex is analytical. It thinks before it acts or speaks. It is capable of deception and it can lie, and it lies often. Example: Your slightly over weight friend asks you, "How do you like my new bright yellow dress? You answer, "Gee Look's great on you." In reality, you wanted to say something very different. Your analytical brain came up with a quick Pro- Social white lie, so you do not hurt your friend's feelings. The micro eye blocking expression flashed on your face, just before you opened your mouth expressing your true feelings of, "Oh my God what the hell is she wearing ! "

True emotions are always expressed in body language cues before words and actions. ( Navarro & Scahafer, 2003,22-24 )

In the 1800's Darwin stated that there were six emotions that were universal to all cultures. They are:

ANGER
JOY
SADNESS
SURPRISE
FEAR
DISGUST


In 1980 Dr. Paul Ekman, Ph.D added,

CONTEMPT


These emotions are expressed in all humans from the day they are born. Dr. Ekman studied the forty facial muscles and their movement when emotions were felt and expressed. He stated humans can express over ten thousand (10,000) different expressions. Most we will never see. In a typical conversation we will see less than one hundred (100). Only a third will be relevant to emotion. These expressions are flashed in 1/25 of a second called, a micro expression. These expressions will reveal themselves prior to a more contrived expression.  When a micro expression is detected, it does not tell you what the person is being deceptive about.
It only tells that their facial expressions, words and body language non verbal tells/cues lack Synchrony.

Dr. Ekman's work in developing F.A.C.S., Facial- Action- Coding System, is a highly accurate diagnostic tool in helping profiler's and law enforcement personnel in detecting micro expressions in a personality when they are put or are in a stressful situation. These emotions or expressions should not be in variance with the picture being presented to you, or before the fake emotion, the mask the personality wants you to believe they are feeling, is shown. All cues must be taken in the context of the situation you are in.

The next time someone says to you that nonverbal behavior does not have meaning or is not reliable, the U.S. Supreme Court decision (Terry v. Ohio, 1968, 392 U.S. 1) acknowledged that nonverbal behaviors presage criminality if those behaviors are observed and decoded properly. This landmark decision was based on the quick thinking of a thirty nine year old Detective, Martin McFadden. In 1963, he watched the nonverbal behavior of two men who he believed were about to rob a store. When Officer McFadden moved in and patted the two men down he found a concealed hand gun. (Terry v. Ohio, 1968, 392 U.S. 1) provided a clear demonstration of the relationship between our thoughts, intentions, and nonverbal behaviors. (Navarro & Scahafer, 2003, 22-24)

 

 

Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI

419 Scams----Shadow Shopper

This 419 scam has been around for a while and has reared it's ugly head again. With so many people having a difficult time making ends meet receiving this letter in the mail seems like an answer to your cash flow problems. I reported this 419 scam to the FBI a few years ago, the older generation can get sucked into this scam thinking they can make some quick money for paying bills and being retired  have time on their hands to handle this rather simple task. The scam works like this, you will receive an official looking letter in the mail from a large well known corporation. The letter will be addressed to you, your name will appear on the letter. The letter will be written on bond paper with an official looking check made out to you for a large sum of money. The new twist in this scam is now they have a number for you to call, a so called HR person will talk to you,  this is to convince you that you are being hired. The hook here is that the company wants you to cash the check as soon as possible and complete the required task. Their window of opportunity is short. 

The check made out to you could range from $2000.00 to $5000.00  The company wants to hire you for a weekends worth of work. They want you to deposit their check into your bank account. Keep a percentage  of the check for your time, this could range from eight hundred to fifteen hundred dollars, withdraw the rest in cash. Your task is to go to a Walmart and wire the remaining funds back to the company that hired you. You go back home and write a report on the Walmart or what ever company they asked you to go to that handles money wire transfers. The company wants to know how polite or efficient the company was in handling your request. You send your report to some PO box in the USA or Canada, some of these scammers even have a fax number for you to fax the report to.  Your job is finished and you are out a large some of money when their check gets returned to your bank for insufficient funds. These scammers are playing the float that can range from one to three days for a check to clear. That is why many of these letters are received on a Thursday or Friday which gives them two additional weekends days before your bank receives their bogus check back.  The letter and the check are very official looking with water marks on the check and on the bond paper letter addressed to you.  The letter will have logos of large well known corporations on the letter, if you look very closely the colors of the corporate logos will be off color. If you should have any questions please feel free to contact me, I will be happy to talk with you,

                                      Anthony Iantosca, BCFE  

Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI
 

Repetition Complex 

 

 

I received an e-mail from a client who asked me what is a "Repetition Complex? I will answer this question to the best of my ability. I am a Profiler not a Psychologist. I have learned and been trained to understand and Detect these very complex Behavior Patterns. What causes them and how to Identify them. To give you the Knowledge so you can understand and take the steps necessary for you to begin helping yourself. A Licensed Medical Professional that is trained in that area of expertise can help you take the steps necessary for you to begin to heal and stop old patterns of behavior that have blocked you from enjoying a better, healthier and more stable life style. 

   

What is a "Repetition Complex" How does a "Repetition Complex" Start? It starts in early childhood and is the Behavior Patterns that your early childhood care givers exhibited that you are today in the here and now, that your adult brain is making the emotional connection with. It did not matter who it was per say, your mother, father, grandmother, etc. It was their intermittent or abusive behavior patterns in your early childhood years that you were ill equipped to deal with or understand that set the blueprint for your behavior patterns today in adult life. It is what is called a "Repetition Complex". Many times my clients ask me why do I always fall for the same type of male or female who treats me badly. The reason is that you are responding to the same behavior patterns you remember as a child. It is not the adult in you that is responding or attracted to these emotional vampires, it is the child in you that is responding.  Remember the sub conscious mind has no conception of time, it does not reason, it does not rationalize.  

 

As a child you did not have the emotional experience/knowledge to understand why you were being abused or mistreated. All you could understand at that young age is that their must be something wrong with me, I am bad, I am unlovable. Why are you "Abandoning Me"  both emotionally and physically. Why are you beating me, hurting me?  It must be because I am bad and worthless.  So what does the child do at that young age to get the love and security that the child so desperately wants and needs?   The only thing the child can do, chase and continue to try and prove to their caregivers that I am good, I am lovable, I am sorry, I will not do this again, please love me!  The real problem is the poor child never knew what the hell they did in the first place to be at the receiving end of all this mistreatment. The child did not have the emotional intelligence/experience or understanding to realize that it was their primary caregivers that were the problem.  

 

So the tape was made (Your emotional behavior pattern). The blueprint was set. You meet someone in your adult life, their intermittent and abusive behavior patterns is what attracts you. Not you the rational adult but you the child. So what does the Adult/Child do? The only thing they can do, the only thing they have ever known.  The exact same things you did as a child, chase, chase, try to prove that you are a lovable person so you are not abandoned again. In your mind, if I can have this new person ( Who represents the same behavior patterns as your primary care givers) love and accept me, all past sins will be forgiven. " Repetition Complex"  This is never the case, you can learn from history but you cannot rewrite history. It is time to erase the old tape it does not work anymore.

 

Think about this my friends, if you were not abused as a child and had a somewhat normal life where you were loved and accepted for the wonderful child you were and are. Had the coping skills, where your self esteem was not shattered and beaten down. Where you learned to love, trust and be loved and trusted. Would you as an adult be with people who would abuse and mistreat you, emotionally, physically or sexually. I think not. To change old Behavior Patterns (The tape) is not easy but it is not impossible. You have the power within you to make the change or erase the old tape. If you have any questions on Forensic Profiling, Statement Analysis, Non Verbal Communication please feel free to call me. My Ex. is 01155 I will be more than happy to talk to you. 


                                            Anthony Iantosca, BCFE

 

 

Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI

Dysfunctional Personalities
Behavior Patterns
Violence
 
In my past articles I have written on (DP) I have explained how and why these Personalities act and behave the way they do. Their core Abandonment issues, their lack of a true sense of self. Not knowing who and what they are. The intense Emotions they feel that drives their acting out behaviors. The best way for me to explain how these (DP) respond to their intense emotions is this way, their emotions are felt and experienced five times more intensely than the average person. Think of a burn victim who's skin is raw and painful and someone just grabs their arm or body, the pain that is felt is unimaginable.  I have stated and will state again these Personalities were not born this way, they were made this way.  
I am often asked are these Personalities capable of violence?  My answer is yes they are. All of these Personalities act out their self loathing in different ways. It is on a bell curve, no two (DP) act the exact same way. The (DP) who are rage addicted, their dysfunctional way of self soothing is their drug of choice.  Why? Rage or Anger addiction is just the same as a drug addiction. The same chemicals that are released in the brain when taking drugs such as Cocaine or Meth a release of "Dopamine" is also released when someone is in a state of rage. 
 
With the five partners I have worked with and warned of the potential for violence and aggressive behavior with their Rage Addicted (DP) three of the five were seriously physically abused. The pictures I have of their battered bodies was heartbreaking. I have explained the traits and behaviors of the (DP) in my past articles, please read them.  I will state this again. If you think you will be able to change and fix these personalities you are dreaming, you will not.   
 
Why Anger and Rage is addictive;

There are many similarities in the neurobiology of behavior and drug addictions. One of the most important discoveries of addictions has been the drug based reinforcement and, even more important, reward based learning processes. Several structures of the brain are important in the conditioning process of behavior addiction. One of the major areas of study includes the region, called the amygdala, which involves emotional significance and associated learning. Research shows that dopaminergic projections to the amygdala facilitate a motivational or learned association to a specific behavior. The cycle that is created is considered the dopamine reward system.

Dopamine neurons take a role in the learning and sustaining of many acquired behaviors.

Your Brain's Mighty Fine Drug - Dopamine

Anger addiction starts in the brain's limbic system, which is the seat of all emotions. This system also causes the secretion of dopamine, the pleasure hormone. Dopamine (where we get the word "dope") is the anatomical and chemical stepping-stone to addiction.

Dopamine is a naturally occurring pleasure chemical that is unleashed by your brain in response to or even in anticipation of fun stimulants like a vodka martini, a cigarette, sex, food, even a shopping spree. Since you like the way you feel, you learn to repeat the behavior and your brain participates big time.  When the reward center of your brain is stimulated it actively wires itself with mental associations of cause and effect; meaning it remembers what thing or activity produced this pleasurable effect so that next time it can summon all of your mind's creative juices to manipulate your behavior (without you even making a conscious note of it) to achieve a similar gratifying outcome.

The problem with chronic dopamine release is that with time your brain's receptors get desensitized and bring little pleasure. A small amount of dopamine can only help you to feel temporarily 'normal' again. As with drugs, an agerholic will in turn crave a larger release of dopamine to feel the same 'high' and the only way to achieve this is to up the rage and act out more; either verbally or violently.  This is how anger addiction is born.

By now you maybe saying to yourself, "OK this is fun, but how in the world can anger feel so good that I can get addicted to it?" It's simple. Remember dopamine, right? Here are three ways how anger can produce pleasure and stimulate the release of dopamine:

1. It is all about the "rush" - that surge of adrenaline in conjunction with increased heart rate and blood pressure can actually feel quite good, even euphoric. A physical manifestation of anger, like slamming your fist on the table or smashing a porcelain plate against the wall will cause your body to release dopamine, creating an even greater sense of excitement. The trap here is that using rage produced adrenaline to feel 'high' is like drinking tequila to have less inhibitions on the dance floor - its short lived and is followed by a nasty hangover.

2. Releasing stored up feelings can feel great. When addicts need their daily "fix" but can't get it they become antsy and irritable. They feel mental tension and discomfort in various parts of their body. When they finally satisfy their craving they experience a wonderful feeling of relief. Anger addiction is no different. Pent up negative emotions manifest in a very uncomfortable way and their release by screaming or punching something brings about a feeling of relief and satisfaction. The problem is that it's a vicious circle - the more the brain is wired to experience pleasure from disturbing emotions, the more the anger and addiction grow together as friends.

3. Being in control feels good. When something or someone robs you of control it feels bad. Somebody offends you, a driver cuts you off, you are denied access to your routine cigarette brake, you name it. You lose power, get angry and decide to use force to regain power so you do something to insult or hurt another being to "re-gain" power. This in turn gives one an illusory boost in power and status. Kicking someone's ass (verbally or physically) in vengeance can feel awesome. Of course, this is exactly the type of behavior that sparks conflicts and pours more fuel into the fire as a result.  

References;

Angermentor.com

Science of the Brain

Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI
 
Statement Analysis
 
Clients have requested if I could give a explanation of Statement Analysis and how I use it to detect deception. What can or cannot be detected in an e-mail, text message or verbal conversation. I will explain what Statement Analysis is and how I use this diagnostic tool in the work I do on a Therapeutic and Forensic level.
 

Statement Analysis is very accurate for three reasons. First, the majority of the techniques are based on Word Definitions, every word a person states has a meaning. People mean exactly what they say.  For example; if a person says "I Think I will go out to dinner tonight"  that is exactly what he/she means. He/she did not say "I will go out to dinner tonight"  The word "Think" is telling me he/she is not sure about going to dinner. So you cannot picture him/her having dinner at their favorite restaurant.  Second, Statement Analysis is also based on the rules of grammar. For example; The rules of grammar define how articles are used in a statement. The indefinite articles "a"  and "an"  are used to identify someone or something that is unknown. Once the person or thing is been introduced into a statement, we are required to use the definite article "the".  When these articles are reversed within a statement, using the definite article "the" before a person or thing has been introduced. I would want to know why? Third and most importantly, the Examiner does not interpret what a person is saying. The Examiner bases the analysis only on the words used in the written or oral statement. In statement analysis we do not interrupt what a person is saying or writing. We focus our primary attention on the language. Truthful statements differ from deceptive statements in both content and quality, breath and depth. All truth comes from memory, while deception is built by logic.

 

The four main components of statement analysis are;

 

Parts of Speech ( pronouns, nouns, and verbs )

Irrelevant/Unconnected Information

Lack of Conviction

Statement Balance ( BDA Ratios )

 

 Today I will discuss BDA Ratios.

 

BDA Ratios;



Statements should be examined by investigators for overall balance, because a statement is more than just a series of details. Statements need to sound like an account of the event. A truthful statement has three parts. The first part details what was going on "Before"  the event occurred (B-1). The before Issue places the event in context. The second part  describes the occurrence itself. The Main Issue "During", (D-1), and explains what happened during the event, whether it was a theft, a rape, a robbery, a fire, etc. The last part, the "After Issue" (A-1) tells what occurred after the event, including actions and emotions, and should be nearly twice as long as the first part (B-1).

 

The more balanced the three parts of the statement, the greater the probability that the statement is a true and accurate account of the event. Approximately 1/2 or 50% of the statement should be about the during (D-1) main issue ( the event itself ). The remaining half of the statement should to be broken into two parts. The first part (B-1) that comes before the event should be approximately one third of the remaining half, or 17% of the statement. Finally, the after the event (A-1), the part that comes after event, should be made up of two thirds of the remaining half, or 33% of the entire statement. BDA means Before, During and After.

The following breakdown is what we expect:

BEFORE the main issue (B-1) approximately 17% of the total statement
DURING the main issue (D-1) approximately 50% of the total statement
AFTER the main issue   (A-1) approximately 33% of the total statement

The reason for this is psychological: the first part sets up the event; then the event occurs; and finally, there is closure. Truthful statements tend to spend a great deal of time on closure.

Investigators should conclude that an abnormal distribution within a statement could indicate deception. I use word counts rather than line counts.  I feel this gives the analyst a more accurate BDA ratio.

 

In Statement Analysis "The shortest sentence is the best sentence" All true statements come from memory.  All statements should be "First person singular past tense" Unless it is a missing persons case. That would be the only time we would expect the verbs used within a statement to be "Present or Future tense" Using past tense in a missing persons case would tell the Examiner the person writing or talking about the missing person knows he/she is already dead, something he/she should not know.   

 

Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI

 
Dysfunctional Personalities
Behavior Patterns
Part Nine of Ten
Push / Pull Cycle
 
The Push / Pull Cycle is very confusing to people who are in relationships with insecure personalities. The confusion in these relationships many times is the personality projects good Confidence and a healthy measure of Self Esteem during the honeymoon phase of the relationship. As the relationship matures there is a shift in the personalities behavior patterns. When intense intimacy and a loving bond starts to take place their partner starts to change and sabotage the relationship. Push/ Pull is a chronic pattern of Sabotaging and re-establishing closeness in the relationship without a cause or reason. It is a back and forth feeling of the partner wanting to be close to someone, becoming more intimate and vulnerable. Then becoming very afraid of that vulnerability, they need to escape for fear of being hurt, fearing the possible loss and acting on that fear real or imagined They push you away, become distant, cold, moody, pick and become angry over what seem to be small issues. Then they change up and Pull you in close again because of their fear of Abandonment. The partner will change and desperately try to get that person Emotionally back again.
 
The issue is two fold, these personalities want to be intimately close to someone and fear being hurt and abandoned by their partner at the same time.
The closer these personalities become to their partner the more vulnerable they become to the possibility that now you are in a position to hurt them.
They feel you are in a position of Emotional power over them. These personalities try to keep you at a safe Emotional distance from them, this is their safety zone an emotional buffer. These personalities want to be close and be loved  but also want to be safe as well. The closer they become the more they feel you can and will hurt them. So when they become to Emotionally close they start to push you away. A form of Emotional self protection.
 
The real issue when this happens is not that they hate you or all of a sudden do not want you anymore, it is really the opposite of what they are projecting and feeling Emotionally inside. They want true love but do not trust it and believe it does not exist because of their early childhood traumas and Abandonment issues. Many times when they feel emotionally close they will start testing you, they need to be reassured you are not going to hurt or Abandon them.  They will say the most hurtful things to you, pick fights over small issues, the longer you stay and try to work these issues out the more this testing continues. Their test is a simple one, the more you tolerate their erratic abusive behavior and stay in the relationship the more they believe you love them and are not going to deceive, hurt or abandon them.  This testing behavior and your willingness to stay and try to fix the issues will pacify their Abandonment Fears but only temporarily. It is the magnitude of of intimacy.
 
 The more emotionally close they become, the more emotionally invested they are the more frightening the possibility of the relationship ending. They becoming emotionally close to you triggers their Abandonment fears they push you away, you start to distance yourself become angry or frustrated with their behavior this triggers their Abandonment Fears again and they Pull you back in. This Push/Pull behavior ends up full filling their own prophecy that they will be Abandoned and hurt, the very same Emotional pain they were so desperately trying to avoid.  
 
    

Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI

Dysfunctional Personalities
Behavior Patterns
Part eight of 9
Trait Number Six (6)
 
 
Deep Need for Attention

Human beings are social creatures and need social interaction, feedback, and validation of their worth. The emotionally mature person doesn't need to go hunting for these; they gain it naturally from their daily life, especially from their work and from stable relationships. Daniel Goldman calls emotional maturity emotional intelligence, or EQ; he believes that EQ is a much better indicator of a person's character and value than intelligence quotient, or IQ.

The emotionally immature person, however, has low levels of self-esteem and self-confidence and consequently feels insecure; to counter these feelings of insecurity they will spend a large proportion of their lives creating situations in which they become the center of attention. It may be that the need for attention is inversely proportional to emotional maturity, therefore anyone indulging in attention-seeking behaviors is telling you how emotionally immature they are.

Attention-seeking behavior is surprisingly common. Being the Deep Need of Attention alleviates feelings of insecurity and inadequacy but the relief is temporary as the underlying problem remains unaddressed: low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and consequent low levels of self-worth and self-love.

 Deep Need for Attention becomes a dysfunction as it does with (DP) that need for Attention becomes a  tactic used to control, manipulate and dominate people. When Deep Need for Attention is  Detected, Analyzed, Identified and Evaluated in a sample of Handwriting, it is found in the ending stroke of any letter formation that swings upward past the half way point of the mundane letters. This tactic is used more by the Histrionic and Narcissist more than it is used by the Borderline or Borderline / Narcissist in my experience working and understanding them.  It is a tactic used both by Males and Females. These personalities rate high in the following traits they are and not limited to being, extremely insecure, rate high in Jealousy and are extremely sensitive to any form of Rejection, Ridicule, Criticism,  real or imagined, have over active imaginations, self and willful deceit, domineering, moody, ego / vanity, low confidence / goals. They are your Drama Kings and Drama Queens. Their behavior patterns are on a bell curve from being emotionally draining, demanding to criminal behavior.
 
Histrionics are more coquettish  a definition of coquettish is; a man or woman who makes teasing sexual or romantic overtures; a flirt.
Narcissists "Deep Need for Attention" is used to secure Narcissists Supply by Cerebral or Somatic means.
 
The following list is some of the behavior patterns used by (DP) to gain Attention;

Attention seeking methods;

Attention seekers commonly exploit the suffering of others to gain attention for themselves. Or they may exploit their own suffering, or alleged suffering. In extreme forms, such as in Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy, the attention-seeker will deliberately cause suffering to others as a means of gaining attention.

The sufferer: this might include feigning or exaggerating illness, playing on an injury, or perhaps causing or inviting injury, in extreme cases going as far as losing a limb. Severe cases may meet the diagnostic criteria for Munchausen Syndrome (also know as Factitious Disorder). The illness or injury becomes a vehicle for gaining sympathy and thus attention. The attention-seeker excels in manipulating people through their emotions, especially that of guilt. It's very difficult not to feel sorry for someone who relates a plausible tale of suffering in a sob story or "poor me" drama.

The savior: in attention-seeking personality disorders like Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy (MSBP, also known as Factitious Disorder By Proxy) the person, usually female, creates opportunities to be center of attention by intentionally causing harm to others and then being their savior, by saving their life, and by being such a caring, compassionate person. Few people realize the injury was deliberate. The MSBP mother or nurse may kill several babies before suspicions are aroused. When not in savior mode, the savior may be resentful, perhaps even contemptuous, of the person or persons she is saving.

The rescuer: particularly common in family situations, she's the one who will dash in and "rescue" people whenever the moment is opportune - to herself, that is. She then gains gratification from basking in the glory of her humanitarian actions. She will prey on any person suffering misfortune, infirmity, illness, injury, or anyone who has a vulnerability. The act of rescue and thus the opportunities for gaining attention can be enhanced if others are excluded from the act of rescue; this helps create a dependency relationship between the rescuer and rescued which can be exploited for further acts of rescue (and attention) later. When not in rescue mode, the rescuer may be resentful, perhaps even contemptuous, of the person she is rescuing.

The organizer: she may present herself as the one in charge, the one organizing everything, the one who is reliable and dependable, the one people can always turn to. However, the objective is not to help people (this is only a means to an end) but to always be the center of attention.

The manipulator: she may exploit family relationships, manipulating others with guilt and distorting perceptions; although she may not harm people physically, she causes everyone to suffer emotional injury. Vulnerable family members are favorite targets. A common attention-seeking ploy is to claim she is being persecuted, victimized, excluded, isolated or ignored by another family member or group, perhaps insisting she is the target of a campaign of exclusion or harassment.

The mind-poisoner: adept at poisoning peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions of others, especially against the current target.

The drama queen: every incident or opportunity, no matter how insignificant, is exploited, exaggerated and if necessary distorted to become an event of dramatic proportions. Everything is elevated to crisis proportions. Histrionics may be present where the person feels she is not the center of attention but should be. Inappropriate flirtatious behavior may also be present.

The busy bee: this individual is the busiest person in the world if her constant retelling of her life is to be believed. Everyday events which are regarded as normal by normal people take on epic proportions as everyone is invited to simultaneously admire and commiserate with this oh-so-busy person who never has a moment to herself, never has time to sit down, etc. She's never too busy, though, to tell you how busy she is.

The feigner: when called to account and outwitted, the person instinctively uses the denial - counterattack - feigning victimhood strategy to manipulate everyone present, especially bystanders and those in authority. The most effective method of feigning victimhood is to burst into tears, for most people's instinct is to feel sorry for them, to put their arm round them or offer them a tissue. There's little more plausible than real tears, although as actresses know, it's possible to turn these on at will. Feigners are adept at using crocodile tears. From years of practice, attention-seekers often give an Oscar-winning performance in this respect. Feigning victimhood is a favorite tactic of bullies and harassers to evade accountability and sanction. When accused of bullying and harassment, the person immediately turns on the water works and claims they are the one being bullied or harassed - even though there's been no prior mention of being bullied or harassed. It's the fact that this claim appears only after and in response to having been called to account that is revealing. Mature adults do not burst into tears when held accountable for their actions.

The false confessor: this person confesses to crimes they haven't committed in order to gain attention from the police and the media. In some cases people have confessed to being serial killers, even though they cannot provide any substantive evidence of their crimes. Often they will confess to crimes which have just been reported in the media. Some individuals are know to the police as serial confessors. The false confessor is different from a person who make a false confession and admits to a crime of which they are accused because of emotional pressure and inappropriate interrogation tactics.

The abused: a person claims they are the victim of abuse, sexual abuse, rape etc. as a way of gaining attention for themselves. Crimes like abuse and rape are difficult to prove at the best of times and their incidence is so common that it is easy to make a plausible claim as a way of gaining attention.

The online victim: this person uses Internet chat rooms and forums to allege that they've been the victim of rape, violence, harassment, abuse etc. The alleged crime is never reported to the authorities, for obvious reasons. The facelessness and anonymity of the Internet suits this type of attention seeker.

The victim: she may intentionally create acts of harassment against herself, eg send herself hate mail or damage her own possessions in an attempt to incriminate a fellow employee, a family member, neighbor, etc. Scheming, cunning, devious, deceptive and manipulative, she will identify her "harasser" and produce circumstantial evidence in support of her claim. She will revel in the attention she gains and use her glib charm to plausibly dismiss any suggestion that she herself may be responsible. However, a background check may reveal that this is not the first time she has had this happen to her.

I have added these following behavior patterns to the above list, they fall under the umbrella of a (DP) Deep need for Attention; 

Super Hero; Someone who will cause a serious situation such as start a fire and be the one who runs in and rescues everyone.

Hybristophilia;  is aparaphilia of the predatory type in which sexual arousal, facilitation, and attainment of orgasm are responsive to and contingent upon being with a partner known to have committed an outrage, or crime, such as rape, murder, or armed robbery." The term is derived from the Greek word hubrizein, meaning "to commit an outrage against someone" In popular culture, this phenomenon is also known as "Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome".
 
Commitment phobic personalities who know they will never have a real relationship with the criminal  they have fallen in love with.
Some believe they can change a man as cruel and powerful as a serial killer.
Others "see" the little boy that the killer once was and seek to nurture him.
Then there's the notion of the "perfect boyfriend. She knows where he is at all times and she knows he's thinking about her. While she can claim that someone loves her, she does not have to endure the day-to-day issues involved in most relationships. There's no laundry to do, no cooking for him, and no accountability to him. She can keep the fantasy charged up for a long time.
 
Next and last Article tactics used, Push / Pull

 

 
 
Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
          IAFEI

 Dysfunctional Personalities
 Behavior Patterns
 Part 7
Trait Number Five (5)

Domineering Behavior
 
 
Before I explain a Domineering personality. I want to explain the difference between a Dominant personality and a Domineering personality. Both of these behavior patterns and traits are detected in a sample of handwriting. The trait is detected in the letter T and how the downward stroke of  the T-Bar is made.
 
A Dominant Personality;
  
A Dominant personality is a very confident personality who has a natural ability to gain the confidence of others for the purpose of assisting, directing and at times controlling their intentions, will, goals and efforts by their sheer willpower through conscious and or intentional means. Research is very clear on Dominancy. A Dominant personality is a one in twenty. Five percent of the men and women in today society are Dominate. This trait was passed down from your blood line. Dominant personalities were born that way not made that way. These personalities  walk their own road. They are natural born leaders. Dominant personalities have an (Inner need to succeed), their willpower ( Strength of Purpose) is of such a nature that they will succeed at any goal, personally or professionally they put their mind to.  People are naturally drawn to Dominant personalities. Dominancy is considered a positive trait. Dominancy does have a dark side when these personalities goals and desire to succeed have been frustrated or thwarted in some way.
 
A Domineering Personality;
 
Domineering is negative, these personalities do not believe they can control or lead others by their own volition like a Dominant personality can. Domineering behavior is a tactic used by highly insecure personalities and is a behavior pattern used by (DP) in an attempt to control, manipulate intimidate, order and demand submission. Personalities such as this try to gain mastery over the minds and overall well being of those closest to them. They are arrogant, obnoxious, tyrannical, they will have a tendency to bluff you to get the desired result. Depending on other underlying traits detected, identified, analyzed and evaluated they are quite capable of physical violence to obtain their desired end.
Domineering behavior is nothing more than Gas Lighting. Their Gas Lighting Tactics "Emotional Manipulation" run the gamut from crying/tears whimpering, moaning and groaning, dejection, silent treatment, distancing behavior, refusal to communicate in an adult manner until their demands are met. They are Type Two control freaks. They will Gas Light you by Proxy getting others to put pressure on you. To these personalities there is strength in numbers.
 
Ambient Abuse is called "Gas lighting" is a stealthy covert way of Emotional abuse and maltreatment. Ambient Abuse is the most dangerous type of Abuse. It is very covert and often goes unnoticed by the victim themselves. It is a fostering of fear and uncertainty. There is no outwardly visible acts or signs of abuse. Gas lighting is used to erode the victims sense of self worth and self esteem. Many times when Gas lighting is used, the victim is seen as the "Abuser" with emotional instability issues. The "Abuser" is seen as the poor suffering soul and victim.  

 The practice of brainwashing or convincing a mentally healthy individual that they are going insane or that their understanding of reality is mistaken or false. The term "Gas lighting" is based on the 1944 MGM movie "Gaslight".

In the classic suspense thriller, Gaslight, Paula (Ingrid Bergman) marries the villainous Gregory Anton (Charles Boyer), not realizing that he is the one who murdered her aunt and is now searching for her missing jewels.
To cover up his treachery, he tries to persuade Paula that she is going mad, so he can search the attic for the jewels without her interference. He plants missing objects on her person in order to make her believe that she has no recollection of reality. He tries to isolate her, not allowing her to have visitors or to leave the house.

If this sounds somehow familiar, you have probably encountered the form of psychological abuse we call Gas lighting. Essentially, it describes forms of manipulation which are designed to make the victim lose their grip on the truth or doubt their perception of reality.

There are five categories of Ambient Abuse or Gas lighting  Postulated by (Sam Vaknin);

1) Inducing Disorientation

2) Shared Psychosis

3) Misuse of Information

4) To Incapacitate

5) Control by Proxy

What it Looks Like (By Out of the Fog}

  • A family member who steals something from you tries to convince you that it belongs to them.
  • A person acts threateningly and then accuses you of abuse when you react in self-defense.
  • A spouse tries to persuade you that you said or did something that you know is inaccurate.

How it Feels

Gas lighting can be a terrifying experience. It can quickly put you on the defensive - trying to justify your own actions or behaviors - when you started out by challenging someone else's questionable behavior.

A Gas lighting perpetrator's fabrications may be presented so convincingly and with such conviction you begin to question yourself and your own memories and judgment. You may begin to fear that other people - who don't know the truth - might be persuaded believe some of the distortions.

 These personalities are brutal with emotional abuse. The Domineering (DP) personality is suffering from emotional insecurity and uses this tactic as a form of defense. These (DP) Personalities main objective is to erode and undermine your self confidence and self esteem so they will look and feel better about themselves. These personalities are temporally "Pacified"  By your compliance to their demands.  Any show of independence and strength on your part only increases the Gas Lighting behavior by these personalities. (DP) with Extreme Jealousy , heavy pressure with physical abilities, violence will occur sooner than later.  
 
 
Domineering behavior has many faces, it is all Gas Lighting to this Profiler simply because regardless of the tactics used by the (DP) the end result is the same. To undermine you, manipulate you, control you and Dominate you by what ever means possible. This can be accomplished  "Overtly" by Violence and Aggressive behavior or "Covertly"  as I have listed below, It all falls under the Domineering "Gas Lighting" spectrum.   

Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics

Covert emotional manipulation tactics are underhanded methods of control. Emotional manipulation methodically wears down your sense of self-worth, self-confidence, self-concept and trust in your own perceptions. At its worse, you can lose all sense of self and your personal values.

These are some of the Manipulation tactics used by (DP)  Borderlines, Borderlines/Narcissists,  Narcissists and Psychopaths. Always remember that with every tactic that they may use it is on a bell curve, some more severe than others, some used and some not used. Not all Personalities act the same, at their core the reasons for this behavior is the same to Control, Dominate and to Manipulate others for their own personal gain. 

 
  • Positive Reinforcement: Praise, flattery, adoration, attention, affection, gifts, superficial sympathy (crocodile tears), superficial charm, recognition, appreciation, intense sex, and declarations of once-in-a-lifetime love. When all of these are present continually at the beginning of the relationship with no negative behavior in sight, it's called "love-bombing," and it's designed to hook us deeply and to bond us tightly to our abuser.

  • Intermittent positive reinforcement: This is a very effective manipulation tactic, one abusers use to great effect. Intermittent positive reinforcement occurs when your relationship goes from nonstop positive reinforcement to only getting attention, appreciation, praise, adoration, declarations of love, etc. once in a while, on a random basis. This will create a climate of doubt, fear and anxiety. You'll know he's withdrawing and you'll fear you're losing him, but he'll deny it. This replays over and over until you're riding and emotional roller coaster and are a psychological basket case. He is doing this on purpose to increase his power and control over you and to make you even more desperate for his love. You have become the proverbial lab rat frantically pushing the lever for a randomly dispensed treat. The rat thinks of nothing else, and neither will you. The bond can become even stronger during this phase, believe it or not. It's a well-known psychological phenomenon known as traumatic bonding.

  • Negative reinforcement: The manipulator stops performing a negative behavior (such as giving you the silent treatment) when you comply with him.

  • Not allowing negative emotion: The victim is typically chastised for emotional behavior. The focus is put on the emotional upset itself, not the cause behind it (which conveniently takes the focus off of him). He refuses to hear what it is she wants to talk about. The only subject is her emotion, which is unacceptable; in fact, it's an issue she needs to work on, and one he finds unattractive. The silent treatment usually follows, which increases her frustration at not being able to express her thoughts and feelings.

  •  Indirect aggressive abuse: Name-calling is direct and obvious. A manipulative way to make it much less obvious is to drop the angry tone of voice that usually accompanies it, and disguise it as teaching, helping, giving advice, or offering solutions. It appears to be a sincere attempt to help, but it's actually an attempt to belittle, control and demean you, and you will sense this.

  •  Manipulators share intimate information about themselves, their lives and families early on to create a false sense of intimacy. You'll automatically feel obliged or free to respond, and afterward you'll trust him more and feel closer to him. Later, you'll find out most of what he disclosed wasn't true, and that he'll use everything you told him about yourself to manipulate you or hurt you.
  •  
  • Triangulation: This is a common and effective tactic of a psychopath's covert emotional manipulation. The manipulator introduces other women into the relationship in any way he can - by talking about a woman at work, talking about his ex girlfriends, flirting with other women in front of you - to knock you off balance and make you jealous. In a normal relationship, a man will go out of his way to prove he's trustworthy. The manipulator does just the opposite, and he enjoys watching your pain and angst. He is usually grooming his next target, and he conveniently uses her to manipulate you devalue you.
  •  Blaming the victim: This tactic is a powerful means of putting the victim on the defense while simultaneously masking the aggressive intent of the abuser. This usually happens when she questions him about something he wants to hide (such as his involvement with another woman). The victim finds herself put in the defensive mode, and she can't win. He tells her that her concerns are rooted in her problem with "insecurity" and have nothing to do with his behavior or with reality, and that he finds her insecurity very unattractive. Since this is very unpleasant she learns not to question him, and silently puts up with his bad behavior in the future.
  •  
  •  The manipulator will make carefully chosen insinuating comments to evoke an uncomfortable emotional response or even several responses at once. He knows your weaknesses and your hot-buttons, and he will enjoy dropping a bomb like this and watching the fallout. If someone says something that has multiple negative meanings and causes negative emotions while leaving you flummoxed and without a meaningful response, you've experienced it.
  •  
  • Empty words: The abuser can turn on the charm and tell you exactly what you want to hear: "I love you," "you're so special to me," "you're so important to me," etc. The problem is they are just words, backed up by nothing. Filling your need for approval, validation, and reassurance with these empty words gives him incredible power over you.
  •  
  • Denying/ Invalidating reality: Invalidating distorts or undermines the victim's perceptions of their world. Invalidating occurs when the abuser refuses or will not acknowledge reality. For example, if the victim confronts the abuser about an incident of name calling, the abuser may insist, "I never said that," "I don't know what you're talking about."

  • Minimizing: The manipulator will tell you you're making a big deal out of nothing or that you're "exaggerating" when you confront him with something he's done.

  • Withholding: Includes refusing to communicate, refusing to listen, and using emotionally withdrawal as punishment. This is commonly called the "silent treatment."
  • Lies of omission: A more subtle form of lying where a truth is left out if it's not convenient.

  • Gaslighting: An especially frustrating manipulation tactic where you know you heard him say something or saw him do something but when you confront him, he simply denies it. It seems obvious enough but if it's repeated often, victims can begin to question their "version" of reality.

  • Projecting the Blame: Nothing is ever a psychopath's fault, and he will always find some crafty way to find a scapegoat.

  • Diversion and Evasion: When you ask the psychopath a question, instead of answering it he may use diversion (steering the conversation to another topic) or evasion (giving an irrelevant, vague and rambling response).

  • Selective forgetting: The manipulator pretends he forgot something important he once said. If you feel the need to use a tape recorder when speaking with someone, covert emotional manipulation is at play.

  • Refusing to take responsibility for his behavior, for the relationship or for your reactions to it.

  • Attempts to turn the tables and make you look like the abuser: These skilled manipulators have an arsenal of tactics at their disposal, and they will be pushing as many buttons as possible to get you to lose control. They can inflict so much psychological warfare and make you suppress so much emotion that you can be backed into an emotional corner. When this happens, the intense frustration you feel but can't express through normal communication will cause you to react in self-defense. Emotional reactions in self-defense to an abusive situation do not make you an abuser.

  • Diminishing and belittling your opinions and ideas non verbally by using eye-rolls, scoffs, half-smiles, etc. There are plenty of variations.
 
Next trait number 6 Deep need for attention.

 
 
Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI

Dysfunctional Personalities
Behavior Patterns
Part Six
Trait Number Four (4)
 
Deception
 
 
Do Dysfunctional Personalities lie, and why? Well the reasons  for their deception is completed. I am not talking about the Psychopath here. Their Deception is strictly for person gain and to avoid getting caught for their crimes. Lying for the Psychopath is like playing a game, they love the ability to pull the wool over their victims and Law enforcements eyes. They have no problem with Deception because of their complete lack of any guilt or empathy for their targets. Detecting their Deception is very difficult. They do not have the tell tale signs "Body Language Tells" that most people will express when burdened with "Guilty Knowledge"  More times than not the psychopath will express what is called "Duping Delight" A very quick smirk or smile when being interviewed.
 
Lying is a conscious act to deceive the target. "Self Deceit" Rationalization or Thinking Errors is lying to self. Once the personality has convinced self of the Deception and expresses the Deception outwardly it now becomes "Willful Deceit"  Both Self and Willful Deceit as well as the Compulsive liar  are traits that can be Detected and Identified in a sample of handwriting. The "Trait" is made sub consciously by the writer they are unaware they are writing this trait or traits. It is produced  when the personality is having a problem with the deception. The problem arises when the personality believes that what they are feeling and expressing are true, the "Traits" of deception will not be visible or detected in their handwriting. There are different types of lies and liars.
 
 

Research has shown that people are no more than fifty percent accurate in detecting deception. One of the main reasons is people have what is called a built in truthfulness bias. This makes us less likely to believe others are lying to us. One of the other reasons that deception is difficult to detect is that deceptive people will weave lies within a truthful statement.

The most difficult lie to detect is the lie of omission. What a person is not telling you lie of omission can be just as damaging as when he/she is being outright deceptive.

To detect deception with any degree of accuracy we must look for and analyze signs of emotional leakage, discomfort displays that are at variance ( Asynchrony ) with the picture that is being presented to you. Honest people have Synchrony between what is being said and their non verbal body language expressions.

We must also understand the many faces of deception, what deception is, and how it can be used against the more trusting of the people in today’s society.

First, what are the stakes involved? We have the following:

 

1) Low stake lies

2) High stake lies


 

Low stake lies have no gain or loss for the deceiver. These little white lies or Pro-Social lies have very little consequence attached to them.

The higher the stakes involved, the better your chances will be in detecting deception. Lying causes stress: and this stress will manifest itself in the person’s body language expressions, expressed in pacifying discomfort displays. Research has identified four different types of lies. They are:

L.S. 1) Pro- Social:

Lying to protect someone.
To benefit or to help others.
Called the white lie.
H.S. 2) Self Enchantment:
Lying to make ourselves
seem more important to others.
H.S. 3) Selfish:
Lying to protect self. To
conceal a misdeed. Avoid
embarrassment, punishment,
or disapproval from others.
HS. 4) Anti-social:

Lying to hurt others
intentionally to gain an unfair,
unearned benefit. The Psychopath.


We have four types of a deceptive personality:


1) Bad Liars
2) Natural liars
3) Practiced liars
4) Psychopathic liars

                                                                                             


Bad Liars: These personalities are just bad at lying. They are so afraid of getting caught: called detection apprehension that lying is just not rewarding for them. When they do attempt to lie, it is very obvious to everyone.

Natural Liars: These personalities were identified by P. Ekman, Ph.D. They did not lie more often nor were less moral or more comfortable when betraying trust. They just know if they chose to lie they could get away with it. They knew this from childhood.

Practiced Liars: After years of practice the signs of guilt /anxiety wear off. They have been medicated through what is called thinking errors (self deceit / rationalization). They will not show signs of guilt because they will not feel it. After many years of lying their confidence level is high. They have made themselves believe that whatever they are saying, doing or feeling in their minds to be true. For example, the child molester has made him/her self believe that the child wanted it and likes it. He/she is educating the child, rather than molesting the child.

The Psychopath: These personalities are the most dangerous. They do not have the detection apprehension or the fear of getting caught tells/cues that would be detected in most people when being deceptive. The Psychopath will deceive without conscience. Deception to the Psychopath is considered sport. They deceive for the thrill it gives them. They have replaced detection apprehension with duping delight, a kind of joy and a childlike delight in fooling others. Key characteristics of the Psychopathic are glibness, superficial charm, and an extraordinary ability to con and manipulate others. (Anna C. Salter, Ph.D. 2003)Deceit models have changed. What was once considered deception indicators such as gaze avoidance and fidgeting have not been found as reliable indicators of deception. Take gaze avoidance for example. Different cultures nave different eye contact levels. Asian cultures hold eye contact 50-60 % of the time, Caucasians 60-70 % and Blacks 70-90 %. People with Autistic disorders or Social Anxiety find direct eye contact very difficult. Research has found that deceptive people have a tendency to hold eye contact longer than what would be considered normal during an interview, conversation or interrogation.

Fidgeting, some people are balls of energy. They fidget and move around constantly. Fidgeting is a sign of stress and not an indicator of deceit.

What is important is to analyze what has caused the change in the person’s base line behavior. What question or discussion were you having at the time that caused an increase or decrease in Illustrators (talking with ones hands). We need to ask ourselves, what is causing the stress? Why has this person’s base line behavior changed?

A person’s emotional make up must also be taken into consideration so we do not make the mistake of falling into what Dr. Ekman calls the Brokaw Hazard or the Othello error.

 

Brokaw Hazard:

For example, Introvert, Extrovert and Ambivert personality types handle stressful or threatening situations much differently from one another.

Emotionally controlled personalities, such as the Introvert / Ambivert, are more concerned with how others perceive them.
They have a very analytical thinking process, and can be very poor communicators when put under stressful situations.
They will spend time thinking about the right words to express themselves. The hesitation in their speech and the anxiety shown in their body language may be misinterpreted as deceit.

The Extrovert personality types are very out going, gregarious and fun loving types of people. They have a rapid thinking process and can think quickly on their feet. Their friendly, out going and expressive body language can confuse you, when they are being deceptive.

 

Othello Error :

When we go in to an interview or interrogation with an accusatory attitude, we put the person on the defensive. We, in effect, cause the behaviors in that person that we are trying to detect, identify and analyze. We have, in effect, contaminated the experiment.

A base line behavior pattern norm must be identified. To acquire a true base line behavior, you must keep the person you are dealing with in a state of comfort. Any deviation from that person’s normal base line behavior pattern can be analyzed in the context of the situation that you are in.

If you are unsure whether the statement you have been given is truthful or not, wait a few minutes. Then go back and ask him/her to repeat their version of events. Only this time, ask them to repeat the story backwards. Truthful statements come from memory, so this exercise will be easy for them to do. When the story has been created and not being recalled from memory, you will notice hesitations and delays in their speech, called a time buying tactic. They are trying to remember what they have said to you. This put a very heavy load on their cognitive thinking process. At this time you will notice a high level of stress in their body language. This stress will manifest itself in pacifying behaviors. Motions, such as but not limited to; massaging the neck, face and forehead and rubbing the earlobe and mouth, will increase dramatically to relieve the stress. 

 

 
The Dysfunctional Personalities lie for many reasons, this "Psychological Escape Trait"  is their defense  for the fear of being Rejected, Ridiculed, Criticized,, Punished, Fear of Abandonment, Embarrassment, loss of Social Status, etc. The main reason for their Deception is because of their insecurity. The Borderline, Borderline Narcissist and Narcissist all lie to deceive their target.
They do not lie for personal monetary gains as much the Psychopath does. In my personal experience working with them and their partners it was more for emotional reasons.
 
The Borderline and the Borderline / Narcissist has such a fear of Abandonment and of being rejected that they lie to avoid this pain. They will lie about themselves, their past relationships, anything that may or will be looked at in an unfavorable light.  They do not lie for "Narcissistic Supply"  like the Narcissist does. They feel that if you know me for who and what I really am you will not love and accept me. This is all these personalities have ever known since childhood. Their primary care givers set the mold by their abusive behavior towards them. These personalities were made to feel defective and unlovable. Their deception is their protection against their Abandonment fears. These personalities are notorious game players "Mind Games"
 
The Narcissist lies for some of the same reasons as the Borderline does but more to keep up the "Mask" The false self. They lie to acquire their drug of choice positive "Narcissistic Supply" To be seen as perfect, all knowing, all powerful personalities. These personalities project outwardly everything they are not in reality. The Narcissist will lie about everything and anything to keep you from walking behind the curtain and  seeing their real personality. The insecure, weak inner child.
They lie to Dominate and control you. Their gas lighting tactics are used to undermine you, so you start to lose confidence in yourself and your abilities. This is for one reason and one reason only, to look and feel superior to you and everyone else they come into contact with. With the Narcissist when they are caught in their deceptive ways it will always be your fault. You caused it.  These personalities are never at fault for any of their abusive behavior. Expressing guilt and sorrow is not in their vocabulary, when they do, it is also a lie to manipulate back into their world or life. 
Deception hurts, regardless of the reasons it is a "Conscious Act" to deceive the target. In my experience it is the fingerprint of the "Insecure"
                 
Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI
 
Dysfunctional Personalities
Behavior Patterns
Part Five
Trait Number Three (3)
 
Egotistical / Vain - Megalomaniac
 
I want to repeat this statement again. As all of you know we do not or can not diagnose a Medical issue based on a sample of handwriting. At this time there is no Scientific Evidence to substantiate those claims. Also we would be breaking two Laws within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts as well as many other States within the USA.  Saying that, there are traits and behavior patterns that will give us a good indication of the personalities Emotional Make up, their thoughts, feelings and how they may respond under controlled / uncontrolled circumstances.  Many of the profiles I have conducted over the years did not show the trait of an Egotistical/Vain Insecure Personality. It was their behavior patterns that I have studied and researched over the years that exposed the insecure (DP). When the trait was detected in the handwriting it  is found in the upper extensions of the  lower case "T" & "D"  that are over two/three times higher than the mundane letters. The other traits that would flag the Profiler that the personality in question would be a problem are;
 
Egotistical/Vain,  Jealousy , Low Self Esteem, Low Confidence, Low Goals, Domineering, Exaggeration/Ostentation, Self/Willful Deceit, Fantasy, Sensitive to Criticism to Self/Function, Over Active Imagination, Talkativeness, Braggart, Temper, Deep Need for Attention.
 
In my research and work over the years, I would now add Sexual Capabilities / Carnal and Domineering Behavior to the above list.  The reason for this is, now we have Personalities who acquire their Attention (Narcissist Supply) in one of two ways as Postulated By Sam Viknin  cerebral and somatic Narcissists. One acquires the Attention by Intellectual means (Cerebral) and the other by Sexual Conquests (Somatic).
 
The sub set of traits that would indicate the potential for "Violence and Aggressive Behavior" when these (DP) are triggered would be and not limited to;
 
Aggression, Anger, Vindictiveness, Brutality, Corrugations (Heavy muddy pasty handwriting) Inquisitiveness and Tenacity (Possessiveness) Garland Thinking Process (Quick). Strong Willpower, Determination and Persistence  are very positive traits that will drive the personality to succeed in any goal or task.  Positive or negative.
 
It must be understood that no two personalities will act the exact same way. Just as there are no two finger prints the same and no two people write the exact same way, no two Dysfunctional Personalities will act the same way. Their core issues are the same but that is where it ends. The slant, pressure and other reinforcing or reductive traits must now be Analyzed. There is a marked difference in the behavior patterns  of an Introvert or Ambivert compared to an Extrovert. The "Intensity" of the personality will also have a marked difference in their behavior patterns. 
 
Many of the traits found in a samples of Handwriting and the  Behavior Patterns of a Personality who has a Borderline/Narcissist or Narcissistic Style are very similar. 
When I am conducting a profile I am determining if the Personality has a healthy Ego or Narcissist style which is positive or are the traits and behavior patterns that I would Detect, Identify , Analyze and Evaluate is someone who is "Projecting" good confidence and self esteem" but it is a smoke screen for Low Self Esteem/Insecurity.
 
 In todays article I  am talking about the Dysfunctional Personalities (DP) and the harm and chaos they cause. The mental mind games and gas lighting tactics they use to keep you off balance. These (DF) Personalities are the Mask in the movie "The Wizard of Oz"  They will stop at nothing to keep you from walking behind the curtain, there is the true personality. A frightened little boy / girl, insecure, and very afraid. They have very intense Abandonment Fears. Both Borderlines and Narcissists have Abandonment Fears. They use different Tactics and Primitive "Defense Mechanisms" to deal with this intense fear. Both (DF) will go through the seduction phase. The Borderline wants you and believes he/she loves you. Everything will be fine, the sex is great, he/she is happy, their emotions are very intense. They have found the man or woman of their dreams, until they enter the love phase. Then we see the change. Something, and there is always something that triggers their Abandonment Fears, real or imagined. When their Abandonment Fears get triggered, usually when things are going smoothly between the both of you, let the games begin. These personalities will constantly test you, push your buttons and watch your reactions. They pacify themselves with your compliance to their wild emotional gymnastics. The problem is when you show strength and set boundaries and not tolerate their game playing emotional nonsense. That triggers their Abandonment Fears. They can and will go on the attack they will yell, scream, accuse you of cheating on them, accuse you of just about everything and anything under the sun. This is "Projection" on their part for their own self hatred.   With these personalities "They will twist the facts to fit their emotions".  With normal functioning personalities "Our emotions fit the facts" Their emotions can change at the drop of a hat when they are in a secure, loving relationship. Why? Because this stability is something they have never experienced, to them it does not exist in reality.  Ninety Nine percent of the time their Abandonment Fear are imagined. This happens more times than not when they "Date up".  They feel in their minds you are going to leave them anyway, everyone else they have truly loved has Abandoned them, so you will be no different.  They will "Split" you "Love you"  now "Hate you". They will just get up and run. They will hurt you before you hurt them. They will cheat on you before you cheat on them. They will leave you before you leave them.
 
When Borderlines "Date down" someone who is more insecure than they are. They love the attention and the needy, clinging behavior that these  insecure personality can provide them, this  makes them feel superior, for the short time. This also alleviates their Abandonment Fears. Then they become board and restless, they will abuse you, treat you less than human because you are no challenge anymore. With Borderlines you must command their respect and draw boundaries with them, if you do not, they will drive you insane with their game playing "Push Pull" tactics. They are very self centered and lack true empathy for anyone but themselves.
 
The Narcissist will also go through the same seduction phase, they want you, they will chase you, sweep you off your feet, you will think they are the most wonderful person you have ever met. You have something they want. Looks, body, sex, prestige, social standing, etc. You make them look good.  You provide them with their drug of choice "Narcissist Supply" The difference is, they deal with their Abandonment Fears differently than the Borderline does. You will never get close to them, they are Love Avoidant. In their mind "If you do not get close to me, you cannot hurt me".  These personalities will always keep you at arms length. You, on the other hand think, Wow! This personality is hard to catch, they are so self confident, they have their act together. This personality is not needy, clingy, so self assured. The more you chase them, the more they love it and feel superior about themselves. Both these personalities can be very confident and successful in their function and are very good at what they do professionally. That is their mask,  They are very good at what they do, but they do not have that same true self confidence and self esteem in themselves personality. What they project outwardly and what they are personally are two different matters. 
 These personalities cannot validate themselves, They always need outside sources "You" To validate their sense of self worth. I believe in my experience working with these Emotional Vampires that there are a few that slip past the false self and get to the true inner child. I have called them the one percenters. These people become the "Secondary source" of Narcissist Supply. They are meaningful to the Narcissist. This causes the Narcissist great emotional confusion and fear. Now that you are close to me, you can Abandon me, you can hurt me. This is a pain they can dish out to others but cannot handle themselves. Most "Primary Sources" of Narcissist supply are nothing more than two dimensional card board cut outs to these (DP) They will use you, abuse you and discard you like yesterdays newspaper. They objectify you and will use you as a masturbation tool. They lack any empathy for the pain they cause.
 
The "Secondary Source" of Narcissist Supply is their insurance policy. This could be their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, etc. These people are meaningful to the Narcissist. The Narcissist will come back to them when their "Primary Sources" have dried up. The Secondary Source gets them back on their emotional feet, tells them how wonderful they are, gives them praise and attention, they are a security blanket etc. Just like a Vampire Bat that cannot go out and feed and stays back in the cave to watch all the pups. Their sisters and brothers "Secondary Source" comes back and reguritates blood to keep them alive. The Narcissist is the same, without Narcissistic Supply (Blood) they die. When the Narcissist loses their "Secondary Source" it causes great pain. They may act as if they do not care, play the distencing act or silent treatment game, a tactic called "Ego Protection"  Believe me they are feeling pain and a lot of it. They have taken a major hit to their ego. You have given them their worst nightmare, Rejection and Abandonment.   
 
Next part six trait four (4)  Deception    
 
 
Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE
IAFEI

Dysfunctional Personalities
Behavior Patterns
Part Four
Trait Number (2)
 
Hyper Sensitive / Explosively Sensitive to Criticism pertaining to Self and Function. 
 
This traits rated very high in all of the handwriting samples I analyzed.  

I want to explain these traits and what caused them before I explain how the (DF) responds to being Rejected, Ridicule, Criticized, or Punished. I will identify and discuss the traits of Sensitivity to Criticism pertaining to oneself and sensitivity to criticism pertaining to the Personalities function. To be fair we must remember the (DF) was not born that way,  they were made this way.

 

All of us are somewhat Sensitive to Criticism, no one wants to be Rejected or Ridiculed. It is the degree of these sensitivities and what caused this fear/defensive trait that will be the focus of this article.

Writers who have sensitivity traits in their handwriting were not born with this with this fear/defensive trait, rather it was developed during our early years over the day to day fears of being rejected, ridiculed, criticized or punished.

 

For example, I am sure you have known or know someone who has an overweight child. There is always either a family member or friend who just has to give this child a nickname, like "porky" "fatty" "my little piglet" and so on. This person thinks this nickname is funny or cute, however, the child most likely will not think it is very amusing, and may be feeling extremely rejected and ridiculed. Also constant comparing the child to other siblings or family members in an attempt motivate the child to preform better in school, sports, or behavior patterns etc. Will only fuel the child's feelings of low self worth and feeling they are never good enough, they will always feel that no matter how hard they may try they will never live up to their parents, family, teachers expectations. This tactic used by adult care givers is rip for disaster.  

     

Because the subconscious mind has no conception of time and does not reason nor rationalize these unpleasant memories can and will resurface when this trait is triggered twenty or thirty years after these negative childhood names/memories have long been forgotten. The reason for this is the emotion either positive or negative that was attached to the event. Strong Emotions anchor these memories in our sub conscious mind and is part of Episodic or auto biographical memory. It is very common to find this adult to be extremely sensitive to any comments with respect to his/her weight, height, eyes, hair anything pertaining to themselves on a personal nature and to react in a very negative way. The reason being when this negative memory is brought up to conscious awareness the negative emotion attached to the past event is brought up with it. The same applies to sensitivity to criticism pertaining to ones function. A function can include the personalities job performance, parenting skills, artistic skills, etc. Whatever it is the personality does and how well he/she through their own perspective thinks they are performing this function.

 

Sensitivity to criticism pertaining to self is found in the lower case letter "d".  Sensitivity to criticism pertaining to ones function is found in the lower case letter "t" the width of the upper loop on the "d" and "t" will tell us how sensitive the personality is. The wider the loop the more sensitive to criticism the personality is. Very large over inflated upper loops found in the "t" and "d" will tell you this personality is explosively sensitive to any form of rejection, ridicule, criticism or punishment. The personalities emotional make up and their intensity level will tell us how volatile their reaction will be. Extroverts will respond rather quickly. Ambiverts who are more emotionally controlled personalities will suppress and then explode when they have reached their saturation point.

 

Sensitivity to criticism in a personalities profile can be an asset as well as a detriment depending on the course of action he/she takes.

A personality who has low self esteem and lacks confidence in his/her self may chose to do very little or only attempt little short term goals or a level of perfection that they know they can a achieve. Never leaving their personal or professional comfort level.

 

Other personalities who have good confidence and self esteem will strive to attain a level of perfection in their work environment or personal appearance to become the very best they can be. They will stop at nothing to achieve their goal. A confident will accomplish this in a truistic fashion.  

 Narcissists will also take on this behavior pattern as well, but they will tear others down to make themselves look superior, talk behind their backs, climb over other peoples backs, use what ever method necessary to achieve success in their goal.

Regardless of the course of action taken, the personality believes their course of action will reduce their risk of being further rejected, ridiculed, criticized or punished.

 

The (DF) Personalities  Sensitivities are of such a nature that they bring the term "Walking on eggshells" to a new level. Their eggshells are filled with Nitro Glycerin. These Personalities are hypersensitive to well just about everything. Any remark no matter how slight or innocent can and will set these Personalities off. These personalities are hyper vigilant to any form of rejection, ridicule, criticism or punishment "Real or Imagined" A look, a sigh, a huff or puff on your part is taken as an attack upon their fragile ego and sense of self worth. Their behavior can range from sulking, giving you the silent treatment, becoming distant, to rage, anger and outright aggression. Any criticism of their behavior reactivates their core shame and will trigger their Abandonment Fears. These personalities cannot tolerate being seen as anything less than perfect. When they are set off , attempting to have any rational conversation with them is a waist of your time and effort. They will turn everything back on to you, you caused it, it will always be your fault. These personalities are never at fault. With these personalities the best defense is a good offence.  It is impossible to have an rational adult conversation with a three year old. When you express your concerns, when you attempt to hold them accountable for their abusive/immature actions or behaviors. They will hold you in contempt, a primitive childhood defense tactic called "Cognitive Dissonance" They will yell, scream, argue, throw things, break household items and in the worst case scenarios physically attack you. Tearing you down, blaming you for their behavior it reduces the impact of the disagreement or perceived criticism off of them, back on to you. In one case this (DF) Personality looked at anything less than hard core porno style sex from his girlfriend as a form of rejection of his abilities. He accused her of not being into him, that his penis was to small. He could not satisfy her. This was not the case at all.  He accused her of being a cold frigged Bitch. All of his past girlfriends told him he was the greatest lover they ever had. In his mind he was the best thing since the invention of the wheel. He stopped having sex with her, would not touch her. He would masturbate in front of her instead of having sex with her.  This woman's heart was broken. Finely when she could not take his lack of sexual interest in her anymore she confronted him and asked why? His response " What the fuck are you talking about, you stopped having sex with me, Bitch"  With these "Delusional Thinking" Personalities any rational conversation regarding their abusive behavior goes something like this, "Ok honey, we will flip a coin to see who is wrong here. Heads I win, tails you lose"  Get my point.  As I have said many times before, it is ok to visit Disney Land, these (DF) Personalities live there.    

 

Next Egotistical/Vain Behavior Traits.      

  

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