The following are simple yet powerful practices that can give you new
ways of looking at your life circumstances, and in that, create new
possibilities for self-realization.
1.
Reversing Judgments
Practice noticing when you judge or criticize someone or something. For
example, in a grocery store line, you might be impatient and think the person
in front of you is disorganized and rude. Quickly turn your judgment around and
ask yourself: "Is it just as true about me? Am I rude? (Am I rude
sometimes; to others - or to myself?) Am I being rude inside of me when I think
they are rude?"
This exercise takes your attention off the "other" and places
your attention on you. Forgiveness naturally results. Placing the blame or
judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking
responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change
them.
Remember, beyond the appearance of who it is you are looking at, it is
always God disguised standing in front of you so that you can know yourself.
Reversing judgments allows complete forgiveness. Forgiveness leads to awareness
of oneself, and reestablishes personal integrity.
2.
The Three Kinds of Business
Notice when you hurt that you are mentally out of your business. If
you're not sure, stop and ask, "Mentally, whose business am I in?"
There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God's.
Whose business is it if an earthquake happens? God's business. Whose business
is it if your neighbor across the street has an ugly lawn? Your neighbor's
business. Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor across the
street because they have an ugly lawn? Your business. Life is simple it is
internal.
Count in five minute intervals, how many times you are in someone else's
business mentally. Notice when you give uninvited advice or offer your opinion
about something (aloud or silently). Ask yourself: "Am I in their
business? Did they ask me for my advice?" And more importantly, "Can
I take the advice I am offering and apply it to my life?"
3.
Being in Nobody's Business
After working with the practice of staying out of others' business, try
to stay out of your own business as well. Hold lightly whatever you think you
know about yourself. "I am contained within this physical body." Is
it true? Can I absolutely know that it's true? What do I get by holding that
belief? There is a widespread belief that we are our bodies, and we will die.
Who would I be without the belief?
4.
"Detaching" from Your Body/Your Story
Try speaking about yourself, for a period of time, in the third person
rather than as I or me. Instead of saying, "I'm going to lunch", say,
"She's going to lunch," (referring to yourself), or, "This one
is going to lunch." Do this with a friend for an hour, the afternoon, or
the entire day. Eliminate the use of all personal pronouns (I, me, we). For
example, "How is that one (or this one) today? Does he want to go to the
park?" Experience impersonally the body, the stories, and the preferences
which you think you are.
5.
Speaking in the Present Tense
Become mindful of how often your conversations focus on the past or
future. Be aware of the verbs you use: was, did, will, are going to, etc. To
speak of the past in the present is to reawaken and recreate it fully in the
present, if only in our minds, and then we are lost to what is present for us
now. To speak of the future is to create and live with a fantasy. If you want
to experience fear, think of the future. If you want to experience shame and
guilt, think of the past.
6.
Doing the Dishes
"Doing the dishes" is a practice of learning to love the
action that is in front of you. Your inner voice or intuition guides you all
day long to do simple things such as doing the dishes, driving to work, or
sweeping the floor. Allow the sanctity of simplicity. Listening to your inner
voice and then acting on its suggestions with implicit trust creates a life
that is more graceful, effortless, and miraculous.
7.
Listening to the Voice of the Body
The body is the voice of your mind, and it speaks to you in physical
movement as muscular contractions - as twitches, twinges, tickles and tension,
just to name a few. Become aware of how often you move away from peace or
stillness. Practice stillness and let your body speak to you of where your mind
contracts, no matter how subtle the flickering contraction may be. When you
notice a sensation, inquire within, "What situation or contracted thought
is triggering this physical sensation? Am I out of alignment with my integrity
in this circumstance, and if so, where? Am I willing to let go of this belief
or thought that causes my body to contract?" Listen and allow the answers
to guide you, and return to the peace and clarity within.
8.
Reporting to Yourself
This exercise can help in healing fear and terror. Practice reporting
events to yourself as if a circumstance you find yourself in is actually a news
story and you are the roving reporter. Announce exactly what your surroundings
are and what's happening "on the scene" at that very moment. Fear is
always the result of projecting a recreation of the past into the now or the
future. If you find yourself fearful, find the core belief and inquire:
"Is it true that I need to be fearful in this situation? What is actually
happening right now, physically? Where is my body (hands, arms, feet, legs,
head)? What do I see (trees, walls, windows, sky)?"
Impersonalizing our stories gives us an opportunity to look at
circumstances more
objectively, and choose our responses to what life brings. Living in our
minds, believing our untrue thoughts, is a good way to scare ourselves to
death, and it can appear in form as old age, cancer, degeneration, high blood
pressure, etc.
9.
Literal Hearing
Practice listening to others in the most literal sense, believing
exactly what they say, and do your best to resist falling into your own
interpretations about the information they share with you.
For example, someone might compliment you on how beautiful you are, and
you interpret that as an implication that the person has ulterior motives. Our
interpretations of what we hear people say to us are often far more painful or
frightening than what people actually say. We can hurt ourselves with our
misconceptions and our thinking for others. Try trusting that what they say is
exactly what they mean: not more, not less. Hear people out. Catch yourself
when you want to finish a sentence for someone either aloud or in your mind.
Listen. It can be amazing to hear what comes out when we allow others to
complete their thoughts without interruption. And, when we are busy thinking we
know what they are about to say, we are missing what they are actually saying.
You might want to consider these questions: "What can be threatened
if I listen and hear literally? Do I interrupt because I don't want to really
know what they have to say? Do I interrupt to convince them I know more than
they do? Am I attempting to portray an image of self-confidence and control?
Who would I be without the need to possess those qualities? Is there a fear of
appearing unintelligent? Would people leave me if I heard them literally, and
no longer engage in manipulative games?"
10.
Speaking Honestly and Literally
Speak literally. Say what you mean without justification, without any
desire to manipulate, and without concern about how another may interpret your
words. Practice not being careful, experience the freedom this brings.
11.
Watching the Play
See yourself in a balcony, watching your favorite drama about you and
what distresses you. Watch the story on the stage below. Notice how you have
seen this drama performed hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times. Watch this
until you find yourself becoming bored.
The performers are having to exaggerate their parts to keep your
attention. Notice when you get honest with your boredom, you get up from your
seat, leave the balcony, exit the playhouse, and step outside. Always know you
can re-visit. Who would you be without your story?
12.
Watching a Second Version of the Play
Write your story from the eyes and mind of another. Write as many
different versions with as many different outcomes as you like. Notice what you
notice.
13.
Exercising Polarity
If you find yourself dwelling on a negative thought, practice going to
the opposite positive extreme or polarity. When you catch yourself slipping
back into negativity, choose again to return to the positive polarity and be
present with your conscious choice; feel the truth of it.
There is only love, and what doesn't appear as love is a disguised call
for love. It is your birthright to live in the positive polarity of love and
truth.
14.
Self Loving Process
Make a list of everything you love about someone and share it with them.
Then, give yourself everything that is on the list. You may also recognize that
what you love about someone else is just as true of you. Then allow the
fullness of it to be expressed in your life.
15.
Coming from Honesty
Practice moving and responding honestly. Laugh, cry, scream, and speak
as it is genuinely true for you in each moment. Be a child again; act in full
integrity with your feelings. Don't let beliefs compromise your integrity. For
example, practice leaving a room honestly without manipulating those you leave
behind with a polite excuse. Live your truth without explaining yourself.
16.
Asking for What You Want – Giving Yourself What You Want
Ask for what you want, even though it may feel bold or awkward. People
don't know what you want until you ask them. The act of asking is a validation
of the awareness that you deserve to have what you want. If others are unable
or unwilling to accommodate your request, give it to yourself.
17.
Awareness of You
Recognize that the one in front of you is
you. Beyond all appearances and personalities is the essence of goodness, which
is you. Remembering your presence in all forms will bring you immediately into
the present moment, in awe of the fullness therein. The person before you will
become an opportunity to know yourself. The heart overflows with love and
gratitude, humbly saying, "Oh yes, this person or situation is here for me
to learn about who I am."
18.
Self Gratitude
For twenty-four hours, stop looking outside yourself for validation. On
the other side of that you become the experience of gratitude.
19.
The Vanity Mirror
If you want to see who you are not, look in the mirror. Use the mirror
once a day only. Who would you be without your mirror?
20.
Beyond Justification
Begin to notice how often you explain or justify yourself, your words,
actions, decisions, etc. Who are you trying to convince? And what is the story
you are perpetuating? Become aware of your use of the word "because"
or "but" when you speak. Stop your sentence immediately. Begin again.
Justification is an attempt to manipulate the other person; decide to be still
and know.
21.
The Gift of Criticism
Criticism is an incredible opportunity to grow. Here are some steps on
how to receive
criticism and benefit from it. When someone says you are wrong,
terrible, sloppy, etc., say, “Thank you,” either in your mind or aloud to that
person. This thought immediately puts you in a space where you're available to
hear and to use the information in a way that can serve you. After the
criticism, ask yourself, "Do I hurt?" If the answer is
"yes," then know that somewhere within you, you believe the criticism
also. Knowing this gives you the opportunity to heal that portion which you
find unacceptable within yourself. If you want to cease to be vulnerable to
criticism, then heal the criticisms. That is the ultimate power in letting go
of every concept. Being vulnerable means you can no longer be manipulated for
there is no place for criticism to stick. This is freedom.
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