Anxiety is a feeling of fear, apprehension and discomfort over a
situation. This is actually a good and healthy feeling since the body is
able to recognize something that it needs to address. This "flight or
fight" response enables the body to get that much needed boost of energy
to react to the specific situation. In this case, anxiety is helpful.
However, if it gets intense, recurring and exaggerated, it may already
be considered as an anxiety attack.
The exact cause of an anxiety
attack is not fully understood, but research suggests that genetics,
life experiences and brain chemistry contribute to the onset of the
attack. What is known is that during the attack, a person shows signs
and changes in the body.
The immediate sign of anxiety attack is
increased heartbeat or palpitation. This is the most distressing among
anxiety symptoms. But this is generally a good thing since the heart
works harder to pump more blood to your body, especially to your legs
and your arms, enabling you to have a surge of energy to respond quicker
than normal to any emergency. The chest feels tight as if it refuses to
expand to accommodate air the body needs. Sometimes, the feeling is
like someone is pushing a pillow into your face.
The additional
oxygen requirement of the body must be compensated by breathing. Thus,
during an anxiety attack, you breathe faster. As your arms and legs
receive more oxygen and energy, your muscles tend to get tensed, which
is important when abrupt movement is needed.
As your arms and
legs receive more supply of oxygen through the blood, other parts of the
body receive less than normal supply of oxygen (the stomach and the
brain can survive with less oxygen during emergency situations). In
other words, the oxygen that is supposed to go to the stomach is
redirected to the arms and legs. This explains why a person who is
undergoing an anxiety attack experiences churning feeling in the
stomach. Because the brain receives less amount of oxygen for a short
period of time, the person experiences light-headedness and dizziness.
(Take note, however, that the reduced supply of oxygen in the brain is
just enough to produce these symptoms and doesn't cause any permanent
brain damage.)
Because your heart pumps more blood to your
muscles, your body temperature increases. So to keep a relatively normal
temperature, you begin to sweat.
Aside from these signs, you can
also experience weakness or fatigue, tingling sensation, and dry mouth.
Also, side-effects of these signs may include diarrhea and constant
urination.
These body responses are automatic. Meaning, there is
no "switch" to turn it on. Thus, there is also no way you can turn it
off by simply thinking that you should not feel any of these symptoms.
What you should do, especially if the attack is chronic, recurring and
it already affects your life, is to seek medical help. This way, your
doctor will be able to identify and rule out any other possible causes
of these signs which are unrelated to anxiety.
Allow your doctor
to conduct a physical exam. He may prescribe you a drug or may refer you
to a psychologist or a therapist. Following your doctor is important so
do not ignore any advice and believe that you are totally okay.
Dreams are a series of thoughts, images and emotions that occur during sleep. Man, since the earliest times, man has been asking the question “what are dreams?” because of their mysterious nature. It is important to understand the cycle that we go through when we sleep in order to answer what are dreams and how do they happen?
The average person sleeps eight hours a day and throughout this time, the person goes through a sleep cycle several times over. There are two basic types of sleep – one is characterized by very slow brain waves, hence, known as the slow wave sleep or SWS and the other one is REM sleep, which stands for rapid eye movement. There are four SWS stages that a person goes through during sleep and then the person enters the fifth stage, which is the REM sleep. This entire sleep cycle is repeated throughout the entire team the person is sleeping but of course a person can wake up at any stage.
It is during the REM sleep that a person usually starts dreaming. Rapid Eye Movement is called so because if you observe a person in this stage of sleep, you will notice that beneath their eyelids, their eyes are moving rapidly from side to side or as if they are following the actions of someone or something. It is also during this time that the body becomes seemingly paralyzed.
A lot of dream research has been done to uncover what are dreams and their meanings. A major theory is that dreams are neuro-cognitive developmental activities. In simple words, dreaming is a product of the central nervous system and our thinking process and is part of a person’s developmental process. Research indicated that humans develop dream activity over the first 8 years since birth, around the time that cognitive and linguistic developments also occur. And because dreaming is developmental it changes as the person grows. This is why what are dreams to children is different from what are dreams to adults.
However, it was discovered recently that dreams occur in the other stages of sleep and not just during REM. Although, many believe that REM sleep and the dreams during this stage are vital to a person’s development. REM is also described as the deepest form of sleep so it is believed that it has significant restorative benefits to a person. Aside from innate neurological factors, certain illnesses or drugs can also affect dream activity.
As long as you resist being your natural, balanced self, you will not attract harmonious, long lasting, or healthy relationships. Once you become true to yourself, you automatically attract the right person to you. You can access and balance own unique vibration of energy to reveal your innate power and beauty within to attract the type of relationships you desire.
You Broadcast Who You Are and What You Want
What you think about, you attract. When you are cautious and hold back your true self, you attract similar situations to you. If you think you are not sufficient, not wise enough, or not powerful enough to create the reality you truly desire, you will attract a representation of your own doubt in yourself.
Attract Balanced Relationships
If you look for someone else to complete you, you attract an incomplete relationship. What you create is a partnership made up of two “half" people, that will not satisfy either person.
When you feel complete and sufficient, you set up a vibration that attracts those with the similar qualities. When you reflect the type of vibrations you choose to attract in someone else, you will be seen and recognized by Mr. /Ms. Wonderful.
Re-ignite Your Attractive Power
Balance your own male or female energy to re-ignite your attractive power. When you flood your body with your own female or male energy, your body automatically seeks its original perfect balance. With practice your system will stay in balance effortlessly. This way you can experience your ultimate sexual and creative power...
Become Clear and Certain About What You Want
Connecting with your innate power and sexual force spawns a new level of self-certainty. Your confidence will soar and you may find yourself achieving goals you long forgot. As you get neutral to foreign energies that compete for space in your body, you become clear, grounded and focused.
Follow Your Own Path
Life is a journey, and you have everything you need to create the most desirable, enjoyable and fulfilling journey for yourself. Take steps each day to reach your life goals, and you will not only be amazed at how well you will achieve them, but at how enjoyable and stress-free the journey will be.
Increase Your Natural Sex Appeal with Visualization
Everyone has both male and female energies. Sometimes someone from your past has turned off your male or female energy. It affects how and what you attract in your life. In the following exercise, you will increase the amount of female or male energy running in your body to increase your sex appeal and attraction.
1.Close your eyes, but stay focused.
2.Visualize yourself sitting in a control room in the center of your head where you have command of your entire being.
3.In your mind’s eye, visualize a scale or gauge from 0-100% that represents your current male or female energy running in your body. Notice the current reading of your meter. Don’t judge it. Just note what you see.
4.Imagine increasing this energy by slowly raising your gauge to 100%.
5.Simultaneously, allow the energy from the sexual center, approximately 2″ below your navel, begin to move throughout the entire body. Breath in from the navel and imagine the energy flowing upwards through the torso, down the arms, and up into the head. Allow this sexual energy flow out the top of your head like a fountain. Let the energy flow down to your feet and bring the energy up through the bottoms of your feet, into the legs creating a cycle of your own flowing feminine or masculine energy.
6.Choose a color for this energy flowing through the body as you push the needle on the gauge to 100%.
7.Allow yourself to experience your powerful male or female energy flushing out foreign energies from your body. Let this energy flow for about 5 minutes. Notice how your body feels.
8.Allow your system to adjust to a level where you feel most comfortable.
Your Attractive Force Within IS Powerful
Your renewed personal power will revolutionize your relationships. When you run your own sexual energy you increase self-confidence, boost your attractiveness and create balance.
People around you will notice a positive change in you. They may not put their finger on it but you will know why they respond favorably. Practice this energy technique for 20-30 days and the results will astonish you.
Author; Amirah. All Rights Reserved.
Want to talk about it? You can talk about your issues with me by phone confidentially through Ingenio by AT&T. My advance degrees are in Psychology and Human Behavior. Just use this button to talk to me now! If I am offline, use it to email me. I will send you free minutes for where you can try my services free. I am a top rated expert on Keen and Ingenio.
Being Strong
Wins His Heart: Have you ever heard the term nice
guys/gals finish last? It’s very true in relationships. In this article
you will learn how to stand up for yourself, the why of it and how you
will capture his heart if you do it.
When we were in kindergarten and a boy pulled the little girls
pigtails. Remember that? Think back and remember that the little girl
that ignored the boy, he stopped pulling her pigtails. It wasn’t fun
anymore. It’s the one that turned around to say “quit it” or told the
teacher that he continued to torture. Why? Because he could. Because the
little girl gave him a fight and that was attractive.
Now what did he do with the little girl that ignored him? He actually
tried to talk to her on the playground. Wanted to get to know her…why?
Because he sensed that “this one is different” if I want her attention,
I should treat her like a lady and act like a gentlman. This is the girl
that a man will give the moon.
Want
to talk about it? I’m Lori, Please call
my Confidential Virtual Office at!! 1-888-464-3646 Ext.
04014467. Or Use This Safe Call Button! I hope to hear from you.
To become the object of a man’s affection, you have to be wiling to
let him go if need be. Requiring respect is the only way to a lasting
relationship that really is happy and fulfilling.
I have many male clients who tell me “the woman must like to be
abused, she keeps coming back for more.” This is an honest answer and I
appreciated his honesty however, it caused me to ask him about why he
said that. His answer to me is that a woman should respect herself
enough not to put up with bull. If she won’t tolerate my bull…then I
won’t give her any. However, if she will tolerate it, it’s a game I play
until I get bored and move on.
Whew! Hard to take but, ladies, if you want the truth about how to
deal with a man, there you have it.
Common Mistakes About Standing Up for Yourself: The
next thing that my male clients tell me is a problem with most women and
here it is. Standing up for yourself draws a man to you,
HOWEVER, DON’T MISTAKE YELLING AND FIGHTING as standing up for yourself.
Notice the girl in this story (pig-tails) that won the guy and got
his fair attention was the girl who simply said “NOTHING”.
I refer to this as the Hollywood Approach.
What is the Hollywood Approach? No Audience…NO SHOW!
When we see that a man is pushing our buttons or even treating
us less than stellar, trust, yelling and screaming is not going to work.
However, you can choose not to participate in his bad behavior causing him
to stop and think…hmmm this girl is different, I want to hold on to her.
When a woman yells and screams at a man, he chalks it up to her being
emotional, on her period or worse! The bottom line here is he will
dismiss you…every single time. So when you are interested in a man, give
the Hollywood Approach a try and then come back and tell how it worked
for you.
I will guarantee this…it works like a Dream!!
Lori
Want
to talk about it? I’m Lori, Please call
my Confidential Virtual Office at!! 1-888-464-3646 Ext.
04014467. Or Use This Safe Call Button! I hope to hear from you.
Ever run into a brick wall, so to speak, with your mate? Can’t seem to pass “Go” without collecting 200 fresh wounds? Well, it’s time to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall. Here are your tools:
ATTITUDE – Get an attitude adjustment first. Lighten up and do a 180-degree about face. Read the Sunday comics, grab an old comic book, turn on the Comedy channel, watch funny videos or DVDs. Get in a better mood and pass it along to your mate. Invite your mate to tune in to comedy with you, too.
FRIENDSHIP – Go back to being friends for starters now that you’re in a good mood. Forget the love stuff, if you want. And just focus on being good friends; share compliments, do things for one another, go out and have fun together, enjoy one another’s company.
RELAX – Let your hair down. Trust and relax. Be yourself. Don’t let old wounds open or fester. Forget the garbage memories and just be in the here and now together.
TIME OUT – If possible, spend extra time together for awhile, like during your original courting days. Hire a sitter, order out, eat at fast food places, grab ice cream cones and go for walks in the park. Get to know each other all over again. That’s the key. Then you’ll remember why you fell for each other in the beginning and history will hopefully repeat itself.
COMMUNICATION – Take it slow and easy. Keep away from subjects that you don’t agree upon. And slowly re-learn to communicate with each other all over again. If necessary, and it’s not a crime or shame – get help. Seek a trusted friend or adviser, a church clergy member or certified professional counselor. No need to go it alone. Find your weak areas and how to over come them and plan for future communication difficulties.
GOALS – Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a direction to head. Write them down in a notebook just for the two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross them off your list. The idea is to HAVE goals together and work towards a common goal.
SCRAP BOOK – Create a memory album together. Add photos, clippings, menus and anything that reminds you of the “good times.” Then when tough times comes, you’ll have something to “hold on to” – your bridge to romance.
So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.
Want to talk about it? You can talk about your issues with me by phone confidentially through Ingenio by AT&T. My advance degrees are in Psychology and Human Behavior. Just use this button to talk to me now! If I am offline, use it to email me. I will send you free minutes for where you can try my services free. I am a top rated expert on Keen and Ingenio.
Anxiety attacks are unhealthy to the overall well-being of a person. It
can alter the way a person lives. If under an anxiety attack, a person
thinks, reacts, and behaves abnormally. This happens because the
chemicals in the body tip their balance, hence worsening the effects of
anxiety even further. As a result, the person feels physical pain,
experiences irrational fear, and shows disproportioned reaction over
things.
His social life may suffer including his relationship to
his friends, relatives, family, and even to him/herself. If the
condition is not addressed and properly treated, the person may think
that his life is worthless. In extreme case, he may commit suicide.
Thus, on the onset of anxiety, treatment is necessary. Here are some of
the possible natural treatments for anxiety attacks:
Meditation
and relaxation techniques – These are proven effective methods in
dealing with anxiety attacks. Through meditation and relaxation
techniques such as breathing techniques, the mind will be able to
control the body. Meditation and relaxation techniques can be used
during an anxiety attack to slow down the heartbeat, control breathing,
and divert the mind away from the cause of anxiety attack. Although
these methods require practice, once you learn the proper techniques,
they are very effective.
Diet – The food we eat plays a very
large role in our overall health, including our mental health. A
well-balanced diet and healthy eating promotes a healthy brain and a
healthy body. It is advised to prefer natural or organic foods rather
than processed foods or those with preservatives and chemicals. If the
cause of anxiety attack is weight problem, adapting a diet that helps
you reduce weight can solve the problem.
Exercise – Aside from
diet, another important factor that helps promote a healthy well-being
is exercise. Studies suggest that as little as 30 minutes of exercise, 3
to 5 times a week can have great effects to the body as well as the
mind.
Herbal treatments - St. John Wort, Hyperforin, 5HTP
(5-hydroxytryptophan), Melissa officinalis, Ginkgo Biloba,
passionflower, valerian, scullcap, California poppy, hops and lavender
are used as an alternative to prescription drugs to treat anxiety.
Natural herbs can be made as tea, but some of these are already
available over-the-counter as powder, liquid, capsule, oil, tincture,
tablets and tea.
Pray – If you believe in the power of prayer,
pray. Many studies show that prayer is an effective way to relieve
stress and anxiety as prayers have soothing and calming effect both on
the body and on the mind.
Laugh – Laughter still holds the title
as the best medicine. This is because when you laugh, your body releases
endorphins or "happy chemicals" that help you to feel good and happier.
Identify
where anxiety is coming from – Sometimes, anxiety attacks happen for no
apparent reason. But that doesn't mean that there is really no reason.
After all something cannot happen out of nothing. Thus, if you
experience an episode of anxiety attack, there must be a trigger (it
might be directly linked to the attack or it might come from something
else, totally apart from the event).
Once you identify the cause
of the attack (which is as important as recognizing that you are having
one), it is easy deal with it directly and process your condition using
the natural ways mentioned above or through medication and therapy.
First of all know that dating anxiety is a common thing. Both men and women tend to suffer from this condition, especially if it is during the first date, or worse during a blind date!
Not knowing what to expect creates an environment of uncertainty. This is the time when individuals bask in self-doubt. They allow themselves to ponder questions that lead to anxiety such as: whether or not their dates are going to like them. They also wonder if they picked the perfect place, or just the right outfit for the occasion.
When individuals experience anxiety, every little thing, even trivial concerns are magnified a hundred times. This is why people who are experiencing this condition tend to worry about things that normally they would not worry about.
But strangely enough, it is these exact same elements that come with dating that some other people find exciting. They just love the rush that goes with greeting their date for the very first time.
Some like the anticipation of what is in store for the evening. They wonder if the night would actually end with a kiss, and secretly they try device a plan that would work towards meeting this end!
Unfortunately there are some people who are prone to developing anxiety attacks when it comes to dating! Luckily, there are some things that individuals can do to counteract this issue.
Here’s a list of some of the things that you can do to keep dating anxiety in control (some apply more to relationships then dating, like number one):
1. Don't be ashamed to admit it. If your face is turning blue, and your hands are breaking into pools of sweat, something is wrong if you are with someone special, a person who truly cares to know about you, they will immediately come to your aid with words of comfort. Not only will they appreciate your honesty, but they will be supportive and make an effort to put you at ease.
2. Don’t forget to breath! Sounds simple enough, but when a person is stricken with panic attacks their heartbeat becomes accelerated and sometimes even erratic. This is why some find it difficult to breath. The best thing to do in this situation is to take long, deep breaths. This will help calm you down, until you catch your breath.
If you are in a stuffy room, or a crowded place, it would be best to excuse yourself for a few minutes so you can get out and get some fresh air. Later if you wish, you can explain what happened to your date.
3. Don’t blame yourself. Sometimes things don’t run so smoothly despite our best effort to make things go as planned. Some unexpected thing always seem to come up!
If this unexpected thing happened to be that you did not succeed in getting a handle on your anxiety during the date, therefore resulting in a bad date, don’t kill yourself with self loathing. Give yourself a break! Bad days happen to everyone, anxiety or no anxiety!
Besides if the person that you are going out with has true feelings for you, that person will be supportive. Just shrug it off, it is not a big deal!
4. Think positive thoughts. When a person starts to become riddled with self-doubt and apprehensions, this is the time when anxiety comes in.
Instead of beating yourself up mentally over your lack of self confidence and uncertainty, give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself to relax, and enjoy the moment.
Remember that people’s attitude shape their perception of their environment. So instead of focusing on your insecurities, focus on having a good time. A little bit of attitude tweaking goes a long way in helping keep anxiety under control.
5. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t set a goal to be the perfect date! This will definitely lead you to an anxiety attack! Don’t worry about saying the right things all the time. Everyone commits mistakes and foibles. The difference is most people don’t dwell on it! This is why these people don’t get anxiety attacks. They can just enjoy themselves.
Going on a date is never easy, whether you are a veteran of many heartbreaks or just new to the game. The important thing for individuals to remember is to not put too much pressure on themselves, but to have a good time!
Want to talk about it? You can talk about your issues with me by phone confidentially through Ingenio by AT$T. My advance degrees are in Psychology and Human Behavior. Just use this button to talk to me now! If I am offline, use it to email me. I will send you free minutes for where you can try my services free. I am a top rated expert on Keen and Ingenio.
Unfortunately stress can actually kill a person if not bodily, mentally. The good news is that managing stress is a learned behavior and can be managed. Unless you have a chemical imbalance, you can learn to train your mind to avoid stress. Yes, we have heard health experts say that before. Dr Paul Rosch, a medical scientist and stress expert said that stress is one of the major reasons for heart disease, cancer, lupus and respiratory problems. Experiencing constant stress can exhaust your mind and body.
Brain training is one of the ways to rejuvenate or worn out disposition.
The American Medical Association, cited that there are 75% of illnesses attributed to stress. World Health Organization (WHO) identifies stress as the leading health problem among Americans. Physical health is not the only thing affected by stress. Stress lead do depression or anxiety attacks, which translates to trips to the doctor to get prescription.
There are studies showing that brain training could actually help people who are suffering from depression and anxiety. Neurofeedback or Neurotherapy would determine brainwaves and areas of the brain triggering these problems.
Eventually, patients are trained or coached on how to recreate a calm state to overcome symptoms.
However, not only depression and anxiety trigger mental health issues. Chronic stress could also cause neurons or brain cells to die. Chronic and long-term stress could hurt the brain function such as memory and motor skills. Stress could also affect ability to focus and concentrate.
Relaxation techniques, exercise and a healthier lifestyle could actually help in relieving stress. However, brain training could help in achieving longer results. Brain training to reduce stress could be in a form of meditation, visualization, or even self-hypnosis.
In a study led by Michael I. Posner, Psychology professor emeritus from University of Oregon and Yi-Yuan Tang, a professor in the Institute of Neuroinformatics and Laboratory for Body and Mind at Dalian University of Technology in Dalian, China, showed that meditation could reduce stress. In their study, a group of people who have performed meditation, a form of brain training, could reduce stress, lessen amount of cortisol released and improve attention within five days of training.
Meditation does not only mean holding a particular position for a long time and chanting.
Meditation would also involve relaxing your body, breathing exercises and visual imagery. When meditation is combined with physical exercises, it produces more benefits whether physical or mental. Yoga is a form of combining breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, physical movements and even imagery.
Brain fitness gyms are also great places for brain training with physical exercises. These gyms also combine nutrition and stress management into their program.
What’s interesting is that these centers allow children and adults to enjoy brain challenges.
Children, working adults and the elderly could enhance their brain exercises by engaging into memory games, visual and auditory challenges, and other mentally stimulating activities. Those who have been using brain training as a form to relieve stress have reported numerous benefits like an increase in creativity, energy, better sleep and being relaxed.
Extreme Stress should not be considered just as a normal condition or situation. There are different ways on that a person can face and reduce it, brain training could be one of the ways. But it is a matter of training the brain to make the choice and taking action of becoming stress-free.
Want to talk about it? You can talk about your issues with me by phone confidentially. I have a PhD, Psychology and Behavioral Science. Use this button to talk to me now! If I am offline, use it to email me. I will send you free minutes for where you can try my services free. I am a top rated expert on Keen and Ingenio.
Unfortunately, the simple act of communicating with one another can lead to confused messages, or messages being missed entirely.
This is especially true when it comes to communication between men and women. It’s no wonder there’s conflict, when they interpret the same conversation in different ways. This is because of the different conversational styles of men and women.
Many examples will stereotype male/female responses. There are many exceptions to the examples I’ve identified. Analyze how you feel or respond to situations; compare them to those described, and decide if you need to change anything in your communication style.
As women grow up, talk is the thread from which relationships are woven. They develop and maintain friendships by exchanging secrets, and regard talking as the cornerstone of friendships. Men bond as intensely as women, but their friendships are based more on doing things together and don’t require talk to cement relationships. Men are more prone to negotiate status; women to create rapports. Men are comfortable telling people what to do; sometimes women don’t like to pull rank, so they request, which can lead a man to believe they have the right to accept or refuse the woman’s request.
When conversing, women face each other directly, with eyes anchored on each others face. Men sit at angles to each other and look elsewhere in the room-periodically glancing at each other and often mirror each other body movements.
Men have a tendency to face away from them when conversing gives women the impression that the men aren’t listening to them, when in fact they are. The only time men will really look for any length of time at the person who’s speaking is when they’re trying to evaluate whether the speaker is lying or not; if the speaker is hostile and they may have to take defensive action; or they’re evaluating an attractive woman. In this last case, they’ll glance over the woman’s body while listening to her comments. This is highly distracting to the female speaker because the man’s eyes mirror that he’s not really listening to what she’s saying, but rather sizing her up as a woman.
Another habit that gives women the impression men aren’t listening is that they switch topics more often. Women tend to talk at length about one topic; men tend to jump from topic to topic.
When a woman expresses her point of view, her female listener usually expresses agreement and support, whereas men point out the other side of the issue. Women see this as disloyalty and a refusal to offer support to their ideas. Women prefer other points of view expressed as suggestions and inquiries, rather than as direct challenges or arguments. Most men are more comfortable with an oppositional style.
Men expect silent attention and interpret constant listener noise as signs of impatience on the listeners’ part. When men don’t make listening noises, women may assume they’re not listening to them. Women make more listening noises such as “uh-huh …” to encourage the other person. Men often believe these noises mean the woman agrees with him, when she may not agree with him at all.
Because men don’t make as many listening noises, women assume they’re not really listening. Men are also less likely to make non-verbal signs of listening, and many continue doing whatever they were doing before the conversation began.
Women are more likely to nod their head more, give direct eye contact, and stop whatever else they may have been doing when the conversation began.
Women often overlap and finish each the other person's sentences (normally, neither is offended). However, some men can clam up or react defensively when women do this, because they may feel that the woman is trying to take over the conversation. Fortunately, this is a learned action and can be changed and people can learn to understand each other.
Want to talk about it? You can talk about your issues with me by phone confidentially through Ingenio by AT$T. My advance degrees are in Psychology and Human Behavior. Just use this button to talk to me now! If I am offline, use it to email me. I will send you free minutes for where you can try my services free. I am a top rated expert on Keen and Ingenio.
First, I’ll need to explain what Law of Attraction is and how it works. You see, the Law of Attraction states that you’ll attract to your life whatever you give your attention, energy and focus to, whether wanted or unwanted–emphasis on the unwanted. The “vibes” that you put out (also called vibrations) are either negative vibes or positive vibes, and at every moment, the Law of Attraction is responding to the vibes you are offering by giving you more of the same, whether wanted or unwanted.
If you are curious about what it is that you are offering vibrationally in any area of your life, you simply need to take a look at that area and see what you’re getting… it’s a perfect match. Mentally take a brief inventory of different relationships that you have in your life. For some people, there is a mixture of the kinds of people they have in their lives; some who support and uplift them, and others who are negative. So why do you attract negative people?
In both of these cases, you’re already experiencing the Law of Attraction. As you enjoy and appreciate certain people in your life, in that moment, you are offering positive vibrations. The Law of Attraction is unfolding and orchestrating whatever needs to happen to bring you more of the same. And as you notice and pay attention to the negative people in your life and the things that irritate you about them, you’ll see the Law of Attraction unfold to bring you more of the same. By shifting your focus and attention to what you do want, then you’ll change the results accordingly.
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Want to know how to attract your ideal mate? Build a list of all the things you didn’t like about your current or last mate/partner. This list, we’ll call “contrast,” will help you understand. For example, if your list of negative things about ‘past mates’ includes someone that doesn’t take you to dinner, spend time with you, doesn’t uplift you, or spends too much time away travelling, now you’ll be able to see why you’re attracting this. Your list makes it clear, remembering that whatever you place your attention to, you’ll get more of it.
The Law of Attraction can only bring to you what you give your attention, energy and focus to, so change what you’re focusing your attention on by asking yourself, ‘What do I want?’ When you catch yourself thinking or saying what you don’t want, in that very moment, state what you do want. The words and the vibration will change. Remember, you can only hold one vibration at a time, so make it a good one!
In the example above, if we were to ask, “What do you want?” after each of those negative statements, our new list would bring us clarity about our ideal mate and would sound like: “My ideal mate takes me to dinner often, spends ample time with me, uplifts me, and spends a pleasing amount of time at home.” Can you feel the difference? It’s this feeling, or “vibe” that the Law of Attraction is responding to. Make sense? Go ahead and try it. Shift your attention to what you do want and know in that moment the Law of Attraction is responding to your vibration. The results will astonish you.
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Anxiety is a normal, healthy feeling that is experienced by everyone. It is the body's way of reacting to stimulus that pushes us to either "fight" or "flight" over a situation. However, when anxiety attacks are chronic, severe, and irrational, and begin to affect the health of a person (physically, psychologically and emotionally), it already becomes a problem that must be addressed immediately. There is a thick line between healthy and unhealthy anxiety attacks. Unfortunately, the demarcation line is almost ignored that normal anxiety crosses into the territory of anxiety disorders.
Types of Anxiety Disorder
There are six different types of anxiety disorder; each has its own characteristics: generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, phobia, post-traumatic stress disorder, social anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is a chronic worry or fear over almost everything without even knowing why. They feel anxious from day to day activities and are troubled that bad things will happen. People with GAD show symptoms such as stomach upset, fatigue, restlessness, and insomnia.
Panic disorder is repeated, unexpected panic attacks, and fears that panic episodes will likely to happen. People with panic disorder are likely to have agoraphobia, or fear of being in places where help or escape will be difficult in case of another panic attack. People with agoraphobia are also afraid of being trapped in confined places such as an airplane or crowded areas such as a shopping mall.
Phobia is excessive, irrational, and exaggerated fear over simple things that generally present little or no danger. Common phobias are heights, snakes, spiders, dark, and flying. People with phobias tend to avoid the things they are afraid of in order to escape anxiety attacks. However, avoidance only strengthens the phobia.
Post-traumatic stress disorder is an anxiety disorder that happens after a life-threatening or a traumatic event. People with PTSD show symptoms such as hyper-vigilance, avoiding situations or places that remind them about the event, nightmares and flashbacks about the things that happened, startling easily, and isolation.
Social anxiety disorder or social phobia is fear of being seen negatively by others or fear of getting humiliated in public by other people. Social anxiety is often mistaken as an ordinary extreme shyness. People with this kind of disorder usually isolate themselves from others or event and places where crowd usually gathers. Stage fright is the most common type of social anxiety.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD is a condition where a person has unwanted behavior or thoughts which appear to be impossible to control. People with OCD can have certain obsession such as worries that they might hurt someone or that they have forgotten to turn the lights off. They can also have uncontrollable compulsion. The most common is washing of hands repeatedly.
Do you experience anxiety attacks?
• Are you always worried, tense, and on the edge?
• Do you feel like you are in danger whenever you are in confined places?
• Are you afraid of mingling with strangers, meeting new friends or even meeting relatives?
• Do you feel that something bad or catastrophic will happen if certain things are not done according to plan?
• Do you experience worry, fear and anxiousness that affect your relationship, work, healthy, and other responsibilities?
• Do you feel irrational fear but couldn't shake it?
• Does your anxiety force you to avoid everyday situations and activities?
Want to talk about it? You can talk about your issues with me by phone confidentially. I have a PhD, Psychology and Behavioral Science. Just use this button to talk to me now! If I am offline, use it to email me. I will send you free minutes so that you can try my services free. I am also a top rated expert on Keen and Ingenio.
Many of us, especially women, tend to put others’ needs before our own. We neglect ourselves and eventually resent those who have been on the receiving end of our love and attention. What we fail to realize is the importance of putting ourselves first. No, it is not selfish. In fact, it’s impossible to meet the needs of others effectively without first being balanced in our own lives. Loving yourself will not only prove to be a positive experience, but it will improve your relationships with others as well.
If we go through our days neglecting our basic needs, we will become very quickly drained of our energy, too exhausted to spend any time on ourselves. When we realize that our own needs are not being met, we become resentful and ultimately withdraw the help and support we so freely offered to others before. However, by focusing on putting ourselves first, we can regain that lost energy, which will give us endless vitality to direct toward others.
Loving and taking better care of yourself is easy if you implement one or more of the simple helpful tips and ideas listed here. When we are happy with the level of attention we are giving ourselves, our energy overflows and we are anxious to help fulfill the needs of those around us. Everyone wins when we learn to love ourselves. Use the following tips to get you started:
Live a healthy lifestyle – How can we expect to accomplish great things if we cannot meet life’s most basic needs? Eat healthy by replacing excess sugar and refined foods with whole foods and lots of water. Give your body the ability to effectively burn the fuel you take in by getting daily exercise, thereby increasing your metabolism. Make sure to get plenty of sleep as well, as our minds do not fully function if they haven’t been allowed to properly recharge themselves.
Express yourself – One of the best ways to take care of ourselves mentally is by frequently expressing how we feel. This can be done in several ways. Mentally, we can express ourselves on paper. Keeping a personal journal in which you can vent when needed will help keep emotions in check. Creative expression is important too, such as allowing yourself to feel and experience the wide range of emotions in a rented movie, or by working on a hobby that’s close to your heart. Photography and other visual arts are good for this. Remember, expressing ourselves creatively is as important as doing so mentally.
Spend some time alone – In order to appreciate ourselves more, we should get to know ourselves better. Some of you may think this will have the reverse effect, but think positively! You would be surprised what becoming introspective will reveal. Discover yourself and learn to love it. Go for a scenic drive. Take a long bath. Surround yourself with music or just quietly meditate. Not only will you appreciate your own company more, but the relaxation will do wonders for your state of mind. Your relationships are sure to improve if others sense your renewed energy and love of life.
Pamper yourself – Finally, take the time to treat yourself to something rewarding. Get a massage, a manicure, or tickets to your favorite sporting event. Show yourself you care about your own happiness by creating more of it in your life. By allowing yourself to enjoy the spotlight now and again, you’ll realize the goodness others feel when you are able to help them.
Want to talk about it? My advance degrees are in Psychology and Human Behavior. Just use this button to talk to me now! If I am offline, use it to email me. I will send you free minutes for where you can try my services free. I am a top rated expert on Keen and Ingenio.
Beginning a new romantic relationship can add excitement to your life; the kind of thrill you get when you put your nose in the center of a freshly cut rose, taking in the wonderful aroma. Or perhaps opening up a beautifully wrapped package from someone special and getting the “gift” you’ve always wanted.
Amazing sensations go through your whole body. But we must remember not to get caught up in these wonderful feelings and forget that a successful relationship takes some work.
Want to talk about it? I’m Lori, Please call my Confidential Virtual Office at!! 1-888-464-3646 Ext. 04014467. Or Use This Safe Call Button! I hope to hear from you.
Here are some suggestions when embarking on a new romantic journey:
Keep it fresh – Every date, every moment shared together, and every activity you participate in with that special someone should evolve around a fresh and creative idea.
Leave your baggage at the door – Your new romantic interest will sure to tire of constantly hearing all the details of your last disastrous relationship. Keep the conversation limited to the wonderful “future” or the “fantastic” here and now.
Dress to impress – Yes – We know pumps and ties on dates are pass – But, sweatpants and dirty sneakers are best left for all the “comfy” married couples.
Forgive and Forget – Forgive him or her if they forget your first month’s anniversary or that you don’t like artificial sweetener in your coffee. Expect little and sometimes you get more than you thought possible. Expect too much and we only set ourselves up for disappointment. Forgive their trivial shortcomings and move on. Don’t forget – We are only human and therefore make mistakes.
Some good things must come to an end – You can’t expect every new relationship to end in “wedded bliss”. If you truly believe there is someone out there for you, give yourself a break and move on. If the relationship turns stale, in the end it is sometimes in your best interest to head in another direction. Not all broken relationships can be mended; so don’t go “crazy” trying to fix every defect in a relationship.
Truly successful romantic relationships are possible. The getting there may be a long road – but once you are there it can be one of the most rewarding experiences you can have.
Want to talk about it? I’m Lori, Certified Life & Success Coach. Please call my Confidential Virtual Office at!! 1-888-464-3646 Ext. 04014467. Or Use This Safe Call Button! I hope to hear from you.
Anger is an emotion experienced by kids and adults alike. When something
or someone interferes with an individual in a negative manner, it can
cause them to become angry. Anger is a normal response to such a
situation. However anger can be classed as a mild or intense irritation.
Depending on the individual, the circumstance and their emotions, anger
may cause a person to become enraged or even furious. People who become
angry behave in different ways. Some lash out or become extremely
defensive. Other people tend to keep their anger to themselves, bottling
up their negative emotions and hurt. While some people become reckless
and even abusive. Anger can be a terribly harmful emotion if it isn't
controlled.
Controlling anger is considered anger management. The
first step to controlling anger issues it to admit there is a problem.
Some people have major anger issues but cannot see it. Naturally
something happens to set a person off making them angry. Individuals,
who have trouble admitting to their anger and accepting responsibility
for their actions, often play the blame game. They have difficulty
seeing the situation as being their fault. There's always something or
someone to blame. Their fits of anger are always blamed on something
else. These people could really use a few lessons in anger management.
However they need to accept their actions and reactions for what they
are, anger.
Many people who have anger issues find it demeaning
when anger management is suggested. Unable to accept their problem
prevents them from seeking the help they require. If a person continues
down a path where they are constantly angry and acting out, it will
eventually cause major problems. Without anger management this
individual will likely experience loss, loss of their family, loss of
their job and loss of their own identity.
It is essential to
convince the person with anger problems, anger management is not meant
to be a punishment but rather to help them have a better quality of
life. Anger management is designed to help the individual work out their
problems, help them figure out why they become so angry. It also
teaches the person not to be enslaved by their emotions, their anger.
Anger management is meant to teach the person techniques which prevent
them from getting angry as often or for very long.
There are all
sorts of anger management strategies. There are programs created
specifically to help those with anger issues. These programs are broken
down to address different people, kids, teens, adults, couples and
families. These anger management programs are in place to teach or help
people to work on their anger. Teaching people strategies for working
out their problems and controlling their anger are important in anger
management.
Anger may be a healthy, normal emotion but when the
anger takes over an individual's life making them destructive and
violent, it's a big problem. Not only does the anger destroy the
individual but it also impacts everyone and everything around them.
Anger management could change this individual and ensure a healthy,
normal life.
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The loss of a relationship can be incredibly hard - you can feel so much pain. There's not only the grief from losing someone important in your life, but the pain of seeing your hopes and dreams of a future life together disappear as well. Sometimes this is the hardest part - having to totally readjust your view of how you saw your life unfolding in the next 5 to10 years. Suddenly, you can't see into the future and it's scary.
Want to talk about it? I'm Lori, I have a PhD and am a Certified
Life & Success Coach. Please call my Confidential Virtual Office
at!! 1-888-464-3646 Ext. 04014467. Or Use This Safe Call Button!
Feeling Like You're Starting Over
You may feel like you're starting over - that you've lost everything that was important to you and you're not sure what to do anymore. It may be hard for you to imagine your life without your partner - your lives have been so intertwined.
Let yourself know that you will get through
this.
Having Difficulty Trusting Again
You may find yourself questioning who you can trust, including your own judgment since you may not have expected the break-up. You may wonder if you were wrong to have trusted your partner. You may begin to question how real your relationship was because if it was real how could it be over?
Your ability to trust may feel shaky. You probably trusted your partner, and expected your relationship to last. You may feel alone and abandoned, even if you're the one who decided to leave.
While it takes time, you can re-build trust in yourself and others again. Even though this relationship is over that doesn't mean that you were wrong to trust her/him, and even if you were that doesn't mean that you'll make that mistake again. You can learn from this.
Having an Identity Crisis
You may experience an identity crisis, not knowing who you are any more without your partner. Not necessarily because you didn't have your own identity while in the relationship, but that your relationship had become part of that identity.
This too will change and you will feel more secure in yourself again.
Feeling Triggered
Break-ups can hurt immensely and shake us to our very core. They can throw us right back to the feelings we had in our first relationships - the ones we had with our parents.
If as a child, your relationship with your parents were loving and supportive, you may find yourself wanting to be with them, even wanting to be a child again when it felt safer and easier.
If your relationship with your parents was difficult, lacking, or abusive you may feel some of the feelings that you felt with them (even if you weren't aware of them as a child.) You may feel as though you are drowning in grief and feelings of abandonment. If you feel as though you are being punished or that the break-up means that you are unworthy of love, you are probably triggered - those are messages, beliefs or feelings that usually originate in childhood.
At times of loss, it is very common for feelings, beliefs and memories from past hurts, traumas, and losses to come up. Not only are you dealing with the present loss, but your past losses as well. No wonder, it hurts so much! And, there are ways to cope with triggers.
How To Survive The Triggers
It is really important that you try to separate out which of your feelings, beliefs and responses belong to the present situation and which ones belong to the past. This is hard to do when you're feeling overwhelmed but it can also help you to feel less overwhelmed. Separating past and present feelings will help you to attach less of your pain to the break-up and can help you to feel more hopeful about getting over this break-up, because maybe you are not as upset about the break-up as you thought. You're still just as upset but it can be helpful to know that it's not all about the break up, that some is also coming from the past.
When you know that you are triggered (past feelings and issues are coming to the surface) you can find ways to comfort or reassure yourself, or to deal with those issues in other ways. The first step though is to separate the past from the present.
Ways of separating the past from the present include:
- Ask yourself where your feelings are coming from, and notice what you become aware of, including later on in the day.
- Notice whether your feelings are familiar to you - whether you've felt this way before - and if so remind yourself that some of your feelings are probably coming from the past.
- Spend time being aware of the past origins of your feelings if you know, and if that's not too overwhelming for you.
- Let yourself know that even if you don't know where all of your feelings are coming from, it's likely that some of how you are feeling is from the past.
A Few Stages of Grief
You will get through this, even if it doesn't feel like that right now. Grief moves in stages - it has a beginning, middle, and an end phase. It might help to know where you are in the process.
In the beginning, you may feel in shock, denial, or numb. It may be hard for you to believe what has happened. It may be hard to make sense of it all. You may find yourself expecting to come home to your partner or for her/him to call at a regular time only to discover that's not the case any longer. It may take awhile for you to fully comprehend that the relationship is over.
During this phase many people operate as if the relationship is still on even as they grieve the loss. For example, even though you may be really upset, you may not have fully accepted that the relationship is over. Deep down you may be waiting for her/him to come back. (People do this even after a death, it's normal.) This period of disbelief or shock is the body's natural protection against pain.
You may try to get back together even when you know it's over. You may go over and over in your mind and with everyone you talk to what you think led to the break up or what might have made a difference and resulted in a different outcome. This is the “if only” stage - “if only I had...or, if only I hadn't...” we might still be together. If you are doing this, you are likely trying to make sense of what has happened, trying to understand and take it in, and trying to change it too. It's hard to take in that a break up is permanent. You'll need time to fully absorb this reality.
At this stage, you may have trouble remembering things, focusing, and feeling a sense of purpose or direction in their lives - you may feel as though you are drifting through the day. This is a natural initial reaction to loss.
The Second Stage of Grief
The second stage involves feeling fear, anger and depression. This stage often lasts the longest and can be filled with feelings of insecurity, panic, worry, crying, anger, and feelings of depression. Some people don't allow themselves to feel, while others have trouble letting go of how they are feeling. Both are essential - feeling and eventually letting go.
Some people worry that if they let themselves feel that they'll be overcome with emotion and never come out of it - they'll drown in their feelings and not be able to function. Others feel their feelings but can't seem to let go of them even after a lot of time has passed. Either way, it's important to give yourself permission to feel and at some point to let go so that you can move on.
In the beginning, you may think that you will always feel this way, but you won't. Your feelings will pass. You'll discover that the time between down periods increases. Too often with break-ups we don't feel that we have the right to feel upset much longer than a few weeks when the truth is it usually takes longer. I have found that grief tends to run a cycle of at least one year unless of course the relationship wasn't very important, was short-term, or you were grieving before you actually left her/him. But, if you spent a number of years together, and the person was important to you, even if you're the one doing the breaking up you can still be grieving for approximately one year. Of course with very long term relationships, it can take even longer to feel back on your feet but it is still possible to recover.
The Third Stage of Grief
This is the stage where you begin to accept that the relationship is over, and that you're going to be okay. You realize that you haven't thought about your ex-partner in awhile, and that without realizing it you are moving on. You've gained back some of your zest for life, and are beginning to see a future ahead of you.
Sometimes the process involves a little movement forward and a little back. This is okay and perfectly normal, after all you need to get used to your forward steps and occasionally may need the comfort of what you were feeling before. Try not to be hard on yourself, change is not a linear path. It's full of up's and down's. It's okay to feel good and then feel hurt and angry again, especially if you see her/him in the community or dating someone else.
In the acceptance stage, you've done a lot of thinking about the relationship and the break-up and you realize things that you hadn't before. You understand yourself better, and you aren't as angry or hurt. You find yourself laughing more, and feeling hopeful. You begin to notice that you're feeling better and that you are ready to trust again, or at least to try.
Try not to lose faith if you fall back into a funk - each time that you feel better will have an accumulative effect. Grief comes in waves - up and down.
Sometimes letting go just happens after you've let yourself grieve and rage and whatever else you need to do. Other times, people have to deliberately and consciously focus on letting go. It is tempting to hold on, and scary to let go. Saying to yourself that you are letting go of your ex-partner can be helpful. Interrupting yourself when you get stuck thinking or talking about her/him and redirecting your focus onto something else is all part of letting go.
Filling your life with activities that you enjoy - creative, playful, sociable, soulful activities - are all ways to nurture yourself back to health.
Breaking-up can feel unbearably hard and so permanent. Let yourself know that you won't always feel this way and in the meantime let yourself grieve your losses fully. You will feel stronger and lighter for having done so.
Want to talk about it? I'm Lori, I have a PhD and am a Certified
Life & Success Coach. Please call my Confidential Virtual Office
at!! 1-888-464-3646 Ext. 04014467. Or Use This Safe Call Button!