RELATIONSHIPS & MORE FROM A TOP RATED THERAPIST

Can Phone Counseling Really Help My Relationship ?

2012-02-07T07:45:00Z

When a person calls me here on the line, they often wonder "How can she help me"? I can feel it, hear it in the voice of my caller. And I can also feel there pain and heartbreak.

It is not uncommon to wonder if counseling can help. It's a question on the minds of many who call, and all for good reason.

As a Therapist, I believe not every caller needs "Counseling". Many of my callers only need direction concerning the relationship, and an objective opinion as to what is happening to all parties involved. Education and Honesty can be the best counseling anyone can give you. Once you have the understanding, the rest is up to you to heal the problem.

With the right tools, your relationship can be healed. And yes, you do have the power within you to make the changes and bring forth healing.

Of course, we all come into relationships with our own baggage and triggers. It is important to know these triggers as well as have a full understanding of you own issues and baggage. This is where a Therapist can help.

My job is not only to counsel you, but to educate you as well. To share with you my skills and knowledge, so you can be able to have the positive, healthy, loving relationship you desire with your partner. I have the tools you need, and you have the power to use them. Together we build!

Can phone counseling help your relationship? Why not give it a try?

Many Blessings

Diane

Relationship Advice: What should I do next ?

2011-07-31T06:52:00Z

I often am asked the question "What should I do next"? The next time he calls, the next time I see her and so forth.

The one thing I see in so many of my callers is how no one pays attention to the persons "Behavior" and is only hearing there words. It is so important when dating to watch a persons body language and behavior patterns. This can tell you so much about how a person feels about you, as well as when you will see them again.

As a Therapist I can teach you what to look for and how to read body language. I can also show you how to know what he/she is going to do next. This way you will also learn when to move in and when to pull back.

How do we get someone to love us? By knowing what it is they are looking for. Feed them....and they will return for more.

If you need free minutes to talk this out , please send an email to talk or chat.

Blessings

Diane

Religious Cults: The Doomsday Prediction & Relationships

2011-05-23T00:18:00Z

Well, the day has passed and we are all still here. The doomsday prediction did not happen and many people are left wondering what went wrong. These people TRULY BELIEVED that the world was ending.

They believed so much in Harold Camping's prediction, that many gave away thousands of dollars, life savings, and all there belongings. They were true believers, many educated people and pure in heart.

So many people wonder "Why would someone believe in such a man"? Of course many think that theses followers all must be a group of dummies, but this is not true at all.

Have you ever stopped to think how many people believe in Horoscopes, Psychic Predictions, Tarot cards, and more. Bright educated people will take the advice of a fortune teller and make important decisions based on the advice they recieve, including advice concerning a relationship.

What about relationships? How many times did we believe in the wrong person? How many men have been taken by women financially, believing she loved him? How many women believe every word a man tells her just because she loves him and wants to believe? What about cheating, when you have the proof and still don't want to see the truth.

When you relate the doomsday prediction to your relationships, it's not so hard to understand how people can be fooled when they want to believe in someone.

The Bible tells us " No man knows the day or the hour Jesus will return". It's that simple! No doomsday prediction will ever be true. For Christians, these words are FACT.

Now, when you take an honest look at your relationship, what do you see? Are your eyes closed and you become the follower like those who followed Harold Camping? Are YOU giving up everything just because you want to believe? How much more will you give before you look for the facts?

Don't be fooled any longer. Avoid your doomsday and reach for the facts concerning your relationship.

If you need help seeing the truth, call a Therapist for help. We are trained to help you sort out the true facts. Stop giving away everything you have emotionally ,to someone who is not giving back to you.

Blessings To All

How can I win back my boyfriend / girlfriend ?

2010-04-24T22:07:00Z

This is a common question I am asked here on Ingenio. Most oftem times we can bring back a lover with some coaching and changes to your behavior patterns. It is not as hard as one may think to win back the love of your life.

Understanding your partner and how they re-act to you is a large part of knowing what you can do next after a break up.

Are you pushing them away or bringing them closer?

If you have had a recent breakup and want to get things back on track......get the help you need now. If you wait......it may be too late.

Dating: Apple's or Orange's ???

2010-03-16T01:40:00Z

As I tell many of my callers; If your going shopping for an orange, why do you bring home an apple?

So many people are on dating web sites today trying to find that special someone. We spend hours updating our profiles, making sure we say the right things to attract the right person. But do we really know what we are looking for in a mate?

I find many callers who are attracting the wrong person for what they are seeking in a relationship. When it fails, we wonder why.

When shopping for a mate or developing a dating profile, it's important to know the type of person your trying to attract. Are you seeking a Barbie Doll? Are you a Ken? Are you being realistic with your activities? Are you claiming to be so active that you cause people to wonder.....when will he/she find time for me?

If your seeking the orange, then lets be sure to attract the orange. Lets get you off the emotional roller coaster your profile may have you on.

If you need some help writing your profile or with seeking the mate you been praying for, call me and let me help you shop for the apple's or orange's you are craving.

I can help you to learn more about the type of person you are seeking, as well as why so many of your relationships have failed.

If you already have a special someone in mind......let me help you to go shopping and bring that special person home. The do's and don't's of dating is something we can all learn more about in our single life.

Don't shop alone, call for help.

Sexual Addiction.......

2010-03-01T09:42:00Z

Most often when a caller calls me concerning his fear of sex addiction, it is often because he/she has been mislead.

We are now in a place where sex addiction is becoming a common household word. We hear it so often today in the media, and many times it is misunderstood.

Has sex addiction become the # 1 excuse for adultry? I am sure you all heard of Tiger Woods and his recent visit to rehab. for sex addiction. So does this mean everyone who cheats on their wife is an addict? I say not!

Sex addiction is not as common as one may think. It has deep roots ,and can also involve many fetishes. It can be painful, emotions are in turmoil ,and one with such addiction suffers greatly.

Sex addicts as with any addiction need serious help by a trained professional who is also a specialist in this area.

If you have any concerns.......call me and lets talk.

Relationship Advice and more.........

2009-12-30T09:03:00Z

Hello Everyone,

We are soon to enter a new year and a time to re-evaluate our relationship goals.

I just wanted to send out a reminder of the several blogs I have posted in the past.

They are the following:

1. Are you seeking a change in your relationship?

2. He loves me but......He's married.

3. Relationships: When to seek out a Therapist for help.

4. When the honeymoon is over.

5. Sexual addictions and fetishes.

These blogs have been posted and many have left comments, sharing there own experiences and life. Please feel free to leave your comments.

Remember, I am only a phone call away. Don't wait until the relationship is over to seek help. Lets bring in the New Year with new hope for happiness.

Many Blessings and Happy New Year

Diane-National Lic Therapist

aka Lilwings03

ARE YOU SEEING A CHANGE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

2009-10-18T00:46:00Z

Hello Everyone,

As a Relationship Therapist I see and hear many relationship problems, and believe most can be corrected.

But the one problem that I often see, is when people wait too long to seek help. Waiting too long can cause the whole relationship to go up in smoke. He or she has already moved on emotionally, planned on how they are going to let you down easy, or sometimes even have there eye on someone else.

Your partner believes the love is lost, and sees no chance in returning. Therefore, they plan to move on and you begin to feel them slipping away.

DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN! If you are seeing a change in your relationship, feel your partner is pulling back from you, or just feel something is not right........CALL FOR HELP NOW.

Do not wait till it is over to call a Therapist. If you see changes, call ASAP. As in any emergency, get help quickly.

Don't wait till it's too late.

Blessings

Diane-National Lic Therapist

aka Lilwings03

He loves me but....he's married: your comments

2009-08-29T04:06:00Z

Hi Everyone,

Over 70 comments have been written on my blog concerning those of you who are involved with someone who is married.

I am so sorry I can not help each and everyone who shared so much pain in your comments. My heart goes out to you. To others, it is my hope that you have ended your relationships with those who are not available for you.

If you are involved with a married person, read the comments written on my blog. See the pain in others and know that is the direction you are heading.

Call for help. Lets sort it out together and find a middle ground for you. If you believe he/she loves you......put it to the test.

Learn what you can do if you are in this situation.

I hope to hear from all of you who have written me, and those who are reading this now. Feel free to comment on my blog, help those who have written and share your thoughts. Let people know you are available to blog and support them who write. My blog is open to you and can be used to "chat" with each other. Write your comments, share your story and lend support to those who are hurting. You do not need to be a therapist to help someone. Feel free to write at any time.

Blessings

Lilwings03

RELATIONSHIPS: When to seek out a Therapist for help.

2009-08-13T20:13:00Z

Relationships can bring so much joy to a persons life, be it family, friends, a lover or a spouse.

They can also bring much grief and pain. We find in most relationships "triggers" begin to come forward. In some cases they are tiggers from our past, we can also find new triggers which develope from the relationship we are involved with.

It is important that you learn your own triggers so not to harm any new relationship, or destroy the one you are in.

It is also important that you look at your relationship from both the negative points as well as the positive. This is when a therapist can be of help to you. A therapist who is trained in relationship counseling can help you sort out your own triggers, and view the relationship from an objective point of view.

This does not mean you will need on going counseling, maybe just one session can help you see what is going wrong. Sometimes a few sessions will help you get your relationship back on track. Counseling can also help you deal with some of the pain you are feeling and bring healing to a broken heart.

If your relationship is troubling you in any area, seek help before it is too late. Ask questions, have your list ready when you call. Look at your triggers, new and old. Not all realtionship can be healthy, but again not all relationships need to end.

I am here if you need me with 28 years of experience in relationships and sexual concerns.

Blessings to you all.

Lilwings03

HE LOVES ME BUT......HE'S MARRIED.

2008-11-02T06:40:00Z

Dear Friends,

Many have viewed my blog here on Ingenio "He loves me but....." and have shared your own situation with us. To all who wrote I am grateful.

Please understand due to my busy schedule here on the site and the amount of calls I receive, I am unable to respond to each blogger who has written.

Although, I do believe that we all have the gift of helping others.

If you have dated a married man/women and would like to be a support to someone , please feel free to write to each other on my blog. The same goes for anyone else who is struggling with a relationship problem. Share your story, support each other, your advice or past can be a help to someone else.

I will check in and monitor things as needed. Please remember to be kind.

We all know the pain of a broken heart no matter how it happened.

Blessings

Diane

WHEN THE HONEYMOON IS OVER..... (7/07)

2008-02-29T00:25:00Z

Hello Everyone,

I have not been here for awhile now but wanted to bring you some updates on my blogs.

I wrote the first (original) blog back in July of 2007 titled "When the Honeymoon is over". Many callers wrote me concerning this blog and the relationships they were currently involved in that related to what I wrote. I passed along many ideas and ways to bring the relationship back to the honeymoon stage....and it has worked for many of you. I am so happy to see the progress your relationships have made.

Thank you all so much for calling, writing, and sharing with me your success.

HE LOVES ME BUT HE'S MARRIED.......another blog I have posted also has promted many of you to call me and share with me your experiences. Some of these threesomes have ended.....while some of you are getting stronger.

For those of you who have not viewed these blogs, please click on my link and do so now. Feel free to write and post any comments you may have. I will try my best to respond. You can also send me a direct email to ask questions. I do try to answer all emails asap.

Blessings to you all :)

HE LOVES ME BUT...HE'S MARRIED!

2007-07-29T18:16:00Z

In todays world, it is not uncommon to hear of someone who is dating a married man or women. This is happening much more then we know. These type of "relationships" can bring a person into a place of such excitement and joy, like a fairly tale come true for some.

And why not?

He wines and dines you, makes love to you for hours, and treats you with the up-most kindness adding excitement to your life. He calls during the day just to tell you how special you are and how much he loves you. He slips away from family gatherings just to call and say "I miss you". When he can't get away to see you, you certainly understand ......given his situation. You remain faithful and hopeful. All the while,waiting for the next time he can give you a few hours of his time.

You are certain he loves you. He's just not able to get a divorce right now because he cares so much for his children, and the timing couldn't be worst for them. Or maybe it is becuase his wife will finacially destroy him if he tried to leave her right now. So you're left justifying his motives and waiting for the situation to change so you can finally build a life together. You wait because you love him.You wait because you want this to work so badly. You wait because you know he is "the one". You wait and you wait and.....YOU WAIT!!!!

Let's take a look at the facts:

He has the best of both worlds. His domestic needs are all taken care of; His wife makes dinner, cleans house and his cloths are neatly hung in his closet. Finacially they are doing well, the house is paid in full and he has money left over to spend on you. He is often home with his wife and children enjoying his family life, his friendships and a comfortable lifestyle. The time he spends with you is controlled by him as he tries to secretly fit you into his schedule. But in the meantime.....you sit at home alone and wait.

But no .....it is not like that my clients say. He and his wife do not get along. He hates living at home with her, they fight constantly, sleep in seperate beds and he is so depressed. The list of problems go on and on, he is not happy at home. As soon as............( fill in the blank) he is leaving her to be with me. You are certain of this , he has reassured you time and time again. You will be together soon. You won't have to wait too much longer.

Do I need to go on?

This story is so common to a therapist; and I myself have seen so much pain in others while they wait for a divorce which in most cases is not going to happen anytime soon.

Denile can be emotionally crippling for many, but some would preferr to be crippled then to face the painful truth.

If you or someone you know is in this situation, speak to a therapsit about your concerns. A licensed professional therapist can help you to move forward with the relationship or move away from it with the least amount of pain. Remember...if he truly loves you, he won't want to lose you.

Either way....it is time to face the truth! For men and women alike, a married partner is a very painful experience for the one who sits and waits.

Your own morals, values, self-esteem and self worth will become hindered as time goes on. You will feel alone, friends will get tired of listening. Family relationships will be in discord when they learn the truth of your situation.

Within your heart, you may already know the truth. But not sure what steps you are needing to take next.

Seek a professional now, who can help guide you in the right direction.

Lets move on with your life!

Blessings

Diane

SEXUAL ADDICTION & FETISHES.............

2007-07-21T22:22:00Z

Hello Everyone,

Many of you have seen my listing in Sexual Health on Ingenio and have called to ask about sexual addictions & fetishes.

Questions such as :

Do I have an addiction?

Is what I am doing harmful?

My lover has a problem....what do I do?

I thought I would take a moment and briefly share some thoughts on this subject.

One thing for certain......because you love sex, this DOES NOT mean you have an addiction. It is only when your sexual behavior is hurting you or someone else, that you may want to explore this with a trained therapist to see if you have a problem.

Most often it is a "Fetish" that a person is desiring and not a sexual addiction. Such as, domination / submission behaviors. Often times this is a fantasy that a person may want to explore. A desire within that is wanting to come out.

Exploring these desires can be alot of fun and very exciting, but we need to always remember the " bounderies". Bounderies are learned on an individual basis, depending on the people involved. How you feel emotionally as well as physically is very important when setting those bounderies.

So if you have a certain fantasy or fetish.......have fun. Enjoy your own sexuality.

If you think you or a loved one may have a sexual addiction.....seek some help. Enjoy your own sexuality to the fullest, make it last and make it fun.

Blessings

Diane

WHEN THE HONEYMOON IS OVER....

2007-07-21T04:00:00Z

So often times I am asked by callers " Why am I being treated this way"? They go on to explain how things were so great in the beginning of their relationship. He/She was attentive, loving, sex was great, all seemed to be so perfect for eachother. Then out of the blue......it changed. The phone calls start to lesson, we don't see eachother as often, and the sex becomes less exciting.

What went wrong?

We all know about the Honeymoon phase of a new marriage, but do we know about a new dating relationship? Did you truly get to know your partner? Were you compatable on other levels besides sex? What about communication? Did you share with eachother what you both were looking for, your expectations? Most often times the caller will answer..."No".

Most often the red flags begin to show early on in the relationship, but we choose to wear blind folds. We do not want to see the truth and only want to remain in bliss of the excitment. Negative behaviors start to show more often by the second or third month into the relationship. This is when you will start to see your partners true colors, so to speak. But we turn our heads and look away.We are begining to "accept" the negative behaviors that tear at our self esteem. Within time, we feel neglected, mistreated, taken for granted and abused.

We try again and again to change things, sharing our feelings and getting no results. Sooner or later the relationship will end, and we are left broken hearted and wondering ......WHY?

If you have found yourself in this situation it is time to take a look with in your own self , find the truth as to what went wrong. Why you tolerated this type of behavior and ignored those red flags you seen early on in your relationship.

If you can relate to this experience please post your comments. Maybe you can help someone else avoid the heartache you suffered. Share your story, and feel free to share your pain.

Many Blessings

Lilwings03