Ingenio Category: Relationship Coaching
I cannot tell you how many times I receive calls from people who have had their hearts broken repeatedly. They tell me they have no "luck" with relationships. As if luck were responsible for the choices, they have made in choosing someone with whom they want to spend the rest of their life? Here is the secret to finding a lasting relationship!
1. Know yourself. What are your values? Make a list of the things you have to have in a relationship. What values do you want this person to have, what behaviors, what type of a lifestyle. Sort these out to the ones you have to have (relationship busters), the ones you prefer (relationship negotiators), the ones you like (relationship icing).
2. Next, make a list of all the things you cannot have in a relationship. Sort there out in the same type of list as the one above.
3. Take a long hard look at these lists. Now think back and ask yourself where your passed relationships were on these two lists. What did you learn from these relationships?
4. Now, picture yourself interviewing your ex's for the position of becoming your life partner. How do they rate on your list?
Choosing a mate is no different than hiring someone to run a business for you.
Every time you choose to go out on a date you are choosing to be with someone you think might be the one. So start INTERVIEWING them. YOU DESERVE to be HAPPY. You deserve the best.
Some things to consider:
1. Happy people do not need to bash the ex. They learn from their experiences and then move on. People who bash are STUCK in unhappiness. Do not look for potential, as you will be the next hit on their list! If you are the one who is stuck...give me a call and let us work on this issue! You will attract what you are yourself.
2. Happy people do not criticize the way you look, what you eat, how you drive, etc....they support instead, they may make suggestions however are perfectly happy regardless of whether or not you take their suggestions. If you are into people pleasing and changing everything about yourself for your significant other....do give me a call...we need to work on this before you shop for a partner. Otherwise.....
3. LISTEN, to what people say. If they tell you, they do not want to commit. Do not just take a hint, run! If you are not listening then you are the one who is not being respectful. Do not make yourself into a victim. Victims are not attractive. Be SMART about your HEART.
4. WATCH. If you are concerned about whether or not your date is being honest with you pay attention to the details. People who are not above board do give off major signals. If you see behavior that is different from the talk, BELIEVE what people do over what they say! Our actions tell the truth even when we lie except if we are totally sociopaths (all this means is the person so believes their own lie even their bodies are deceived).
5. LEARN. Learn about yourself and what you like and what you do not like. Learn from your heart and your body. Your feelings and your body will tell you when you like someone and trust how you feel when your are with someone. [If you feel bad most of the time and then great some of the time...this is not the relationship for you. Feeling bad needs to be on those rare occasions when we accidentally hurt one another by being human. Being human is not about dumping pain onto another human being because we need relief. There is a big difference! If you are in a relationship like this or have had, relationships like this then do give me a call. ]
6. LIVE. Live in the moment. This is the greatest relationship maker there is on the planet. Living in the moment will allow you to feel what you need to feel, hear what you need to hear, know what you need to know.
7. TRUST. Trust when you are being real, listening, paying attention to the signs and enjoying your time with someone else that life wants you to be blessed and happy.
8. BELIEVE. Believe in yourself, in others, in life and in LOVE.
9. ATTRACT. Be the person you most want to attract. Sometimes we would not know true love if it bit us. Why? Because we are focusing on all of our weakness instead of our strengths. Be positive about yourself and you will attract a positive other.
Finally, visualize what your life will be like in a loving relationship. Close your eyes and visualize. Make this a daily practice, reading your list and visualizing the great love of you life!