"UNDERSTANDING HUMAN BEHAVIOR" On a FORENSIC level, Handwriting Analysis is used for, Assisting Criminologists & Law Enforcement agents in behavioral profiling involving crimes of violence.
Emotional Vampires Part Three (3)

Special interest Article;
Anthony J. Iantosca, BCFE

Emotional Vampires

Part Three (3)

Behavior Patterns



Remember there are two types of confidence, there is confidence in ones function and there is confidence in me, myself and I. Confidence in function is what he/she does for a living. They could be very confident in what they do, after of years of doing the same thing over and over they become confident. Repetition in ones function increases confidence.

I do not pay attention to confidence in their function. I pay attention to the confidence and self esteem a personality has in the me, myself and I. Many times people mistake the person's confidence in function as being confident in themselves. Nothing could be further from the truth. The emotional vampire and highly insecure/fear based  personality attempts to roll the confidence they have in function onto themselves in an attempt to fool you.

They want you to believe you are getting a confident personality with good self esteem. They over compensate for their lack of true self esteem by being arrogant and haughty. They have their act down to a science. Do not pay attention what a person does for a living, what type of car they have, how much money they flash around. Pay close attention to how they act. How they treat others, and are they consistent in the behavior over an extended period of time.  



 Many times when I  profile a personality, the traits  and behavior patterns I detect, identify, analyze and evaluate will not always be expressed right away. These behavior patterns will manifest themselves later into the relationship. I will tell you what you can expect when emotion comes onto play and their logic and self control gets high jacked by their emotions. Many of the insecure personalities I have profiled will use covert tactics to manipulate and control their target. Such as and not limited to;


Gas lighting (making you second guess your perception of the facts and yourself).


Domineering behavior, (punish you when they don't get their way) this punishment can be very covert. Not being on time for an important meeting, not having dinner on the table when you are coming home with a guest, going for a night out and all of a sudden he/she is gets sick.

It could also be shown in very overt ways, out right aggression and physical abuse when they feel you are not going to give them their way or do as they want. 


Passive aggressive behavior, (never talking to you in an adult manner over what is troubling them, they use their aggression and anger in covert ways) to undermine you. Never being on time, not calling when they say they will, and never following through on tasks or promises when they are triggered. Forgetting things you wanted them to do or needed them to do for you.  


Silent treatment game is (passive aggressive) All of a sudden they won't talk to you, answer your texts, e-mails or your phone calls. If you are living with them he/she will just sit there and make believe you do not exist. You feel alienated, cast aside. Abandoned. And it doesn't seem like they care at all. Or worse, they seem to get enjoyment when they know how this is affecting you.


Distancing behavior, is (passive aggressive) this is a favored tactic of the insecure and fear based personality. I am leaving you game, I am not that interested in you game, I could take you or leave you game. They stop texting or calling as much.


Deception and lying,  is a conscious act to deceive or mislead the target, doing so deliberately. Deception is called an (escape trait).  People who lie can choose not to lie. Those who do lie, know they are lying. There are two ways to lie, to (conceal) or to (falsify). In (concealment) the deceiver leaves out important information without saying anything untrue called (lying by omission). When the deceiver (falsifies), this is a two step process. The deceiver withholds true information and also will presents false information as if it were true.  Why do people lie, there are many reasons, some of the reasons are to avoid punishment or censure for a crime or act, to avoid being rejected, ridiculed, criticized, to avoid being humiliated or losing face, as some may call it. Some may lie or embellish on a story for attention seeking or to appear more important than they really are in reality.  A form of (ego protection). When you ask questions do they answer you in a straight forward manner? When a person is being truthful with nothing to hide every question you ask carries the same weight.



Projection, projecting their insecurities on to you. You must be cheating on me, you lie all the time, you are just being jealous, when you are not.


Projective identification, differs from simple projection in that projective identification can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, whereby a person, believing something false about another, influences or coerces that other person to carry out that precise projection. In extreme cases, the recipient may lose any sense of their real self and become reduced to the passive carriers of outside projections, as if possessed by them.


Traumatic Bonding, this behavior pattern is when the abuser becomes the rescuer and the rescuer becomes the abuser.  Called (intermittent reinforcement). This behavior pattern is very insidious and has the abused longing for the highs and fearing the lows. Both of these strong emotions release dopamine in the brain. This neurotransmitter is very addictive to the cells it docks onto. It is responsible for learning, memory, and wanting you to crave things more, the addiction. This addiction can be a chemical addiction (to a drug) or behavioral addiction (to a behavior).  

You must remember the cells in the brain do not look at a peptide as being a positive peptide or a negative peptide. The cells get hooked on the intensity of the peptide.


For people interring a new relationship:


The weekend disappearing act, they are never able to see you on the weekends. They have a family engagement, they have to work overtime, their pet gold fish died, etc. Be suspicious when he/she can only see you on certain days during the week. Also when having a texting conversation did they break the conversation off suddenly.  Also be suspicious when they never want to call you and only text or when you call them and they never answer the phone and always call you back later. Be on guard for very equivocal text messages and a quick change in language.


Examples: Hi where are you? "Out with some friends, hay how was your day?"

Who was out? The word "with" shows distance, "some friends" is a way to hide their identity. "how was your day" a quick change in language off the topic of your conversation.     

Just as they do in person, deceptive people will take advantage of any opportunity they can to change the subject from their lie. Fortunately in text, it's a little more obvious.

Be skeptical when someone tries to distance themselves from the story. A common way to do this is to avoid the use of personal pronouns such as "I" and "we." Additionally, liars may distance other people from the story in an attempt to hide their identity, referring to them as "some people" or "some friends."

Lying is uncomfortable for everyone involved. Most liars don't want to fully commit to a lie and will often use noncommittal language. Popular noncommittal phrases include "I guess," "possibly or probably," "must have," "pretty sure," and "we'll see."

 Many deceptive people set up their lies with qualifying statements. These statements show that the liar is uncomfortable with what they're about to say. Some examples include, "I hate to tell you," "don't take this the wrong way," "to be honest," "I'm just saying," and "I hear what you're saying."


Love bombing, he/she comes in hot and heavy very quickly. They have found the man or woman of their dreams, want sex quickly. They give you non stop attention and affection that is a little to much for the amount of time you have spent together. Once they have you on the emotional hook the games begin.


These personalities will use the same tactics on you that work on them. These personalities could be a new love interest, a family member, friends or co worker. They are relying on your possible fear of abandonment and insecurities. They want you to chase them and do what ever they want. So they will not walk away from you, this is what they want you to believe. The problem arises when you see through their little game playing tactic and say ok, "walk."     


 You must become a competent observer not only of your environment but also the people you are bringing into your life. Pay close attention to how they treat and talk to other people, how they act when they have had a few drinks, this is a very important behavior pattern to pay close attention to. Remember, when a personality is drunk or a little tipsy, what you are seeing is the real personality. Their logical side or rational/thinking brain (neo cortex) is being reduced and their emotional (limbic brain) their wants, needs and desires will start to be expressed. How do they keep their house, is it clean? Their car, is it clean? Who do they associate with? Birds of a feather will flock together. Do they talk the talk and walk the walk. Will they take the easy way out when life gets difficult? Do they have a tendency to always blame life or other people for their problems? Do they keep their word? The most important behavior pattern to watch for, do these personalities act they same behind close doors as they do when in public and people are watching.


The fear based insecure personality works, thinks and will act differently from a confident one.

The fear based insecure/jealous personality will be happy when you are down and having difficulties. They may express they want to help and be there for you, they are enjoying the fact that you are miserable under the smoke screen of wanting to help you. As soon as you start becoming stronger they will hate you for your inner strength. When you get back on your feet and are succeeding in your goals or life dreams, you will see a complete change in their attitude and behavior towards you. The true lover/friend and confident personality will help you when you are down and be very happy for you when you are back on your feet. Their attitude and behavior will remain consistent towards you.  Confident personalities want you happy and to succeed. The insecure do not.  

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