LOVE IS: LISTENING FROM THE HEART
Most of us feel we are good listeners. A good listener is more than just being quiet while the other person is talking. Realize that, as the listener, you are being judged by the person talking.
You are being judged in various ways:
* By your eye contact
* By your ability not to be distracted
* By your body language
* By your facial expressions
* Most of all... by your response to what is being said.
If you can quote (verbatim) what the other person is saying, it doesn't mean you are listening from the heart. It may be that you are good at multi-tasking with your mind. Your thought process may have the ability to be several places at the same time while in the midst of occupying "conversation". The person talking can definitely sense your distance. A quick, "uh huh" or an "I see", while your eyes are wondering off in another direction is no indication that you are actively listening.
Having good listening tactics should be at the top of your list if you desire a healthy/loving relationship. It makes your partner feel that you are genuinely there for them; you are concerned; you care; and you love them. As a listener from the heart, try repeating key words they've said and ask responsive as well as lead-in questions. You will find that these small gestures can go a long way. If you are not willing to work on your listening skills, your partner will find someone else who is a willing listener. The end result will be your relationship gradually drifting apart.