So in my last post I mentioned my New Year’s Resolution is
to help more people and to that end I have begun taking a couple new
classes. One is to become better at
putting myself out there as a business person (something I find very difficult
at times) and the other to continue my education as a Life Coach. One of the
firs things the first class has encouraged me to do is to tell you about
me. You need to know who you are talking
to and it is one of the first conversations I often have with callers. About me… hmm… as many times as I have been
asked that it is still something I find hard to find the words for but I will
try my best.
As with everyone else, I wear many hats. I am a daughter, sister, mother, wife, and
friend but then I guess many are… I am and homeschool teacher; my three kids,
16, 12 and my youngest will be 9 soon. I
am a gamer; I love interacting with my tribe online as we work together. Most of all though, I am a Life Coach and
have been so most of my life. I am not
sure that most people know what a Life Coach is and the difference between a
Life Coach and I wonder if that is not something better for another post.
The short answer though is that a life coach is someone who listens
and encourages people on stuff dealing with personal challenges. It is not therapy. I am not a licensed therapist and I am not
about analyzing you. From a very young
age, long before I ever heard the word Life Coach, I have been helping people. Yes, children are often helpful in their
young sort of ways, but I don’t mean taking out the trash or clean someone’s
dishes, although I did that too. Growing
up in a diverse community with many lifestyles.
One of my first memories of helping someone was a childhood friend who
was dealing with his mother leaving his father for another woman.
Now, it is less of a big deal but back in the 80s? It was huge!
My friend had to deal with questions from adults and kids. Questions he didn’t have answers too. Even how do you feel about the situation were
overwhelming for him. I remember talking
for hours with him about what was going on at each home. Eventually, how much pain he was going
through, not just because his parents had split but mad because his parent’s
and especially his mom had put him in this situation. We talked the situation to death and to this
day, he has told me he values those conversations because he was finally able
to move past the pain and anger and see how much happier his mom was and in
turn he even helped his dad accept the situation. Both are married again to different people and
they work together to be a (somewhat) unconventional family.
Over the years I have had many diverse friends from all
sorts of lifestyles; really nothing except my almost teenage daughter phases me
anymore. Come on, no one is
perfect! In the past, the person I help
is someone I meet for only a few minutes.
I am still surprised when a person in the grocery store line tells me
their life story; I am told I am easy to talk to. When a friend of mine recorded a program
about Life Coaching, I was like, I want to do that! Silly me, I had already been doing it for
I have read a long list of books, and taken classes and
workshops but when it comes down to it, mostly what I have is life experience. I also have a strong love of people,
especially broken people because I have been broken a time or two. No, I am not about fixing people. Broken people don’t need fixing. They need someone
to understand and help us understand that it is okay to be broken. We need a friend, someone to help walk with
us and remind us that everything will be okay.
Sometimes that it is okay, not to be okay.
A few years ago, I counseled a bipolar friend who was
diagnosed with diabetes and stage 4 prostate cancer all in the same year. (It is okay to cringe, I still do.) He wanted to give up before he started, he
was so scared. I told him that was his
option, and that I would miss him as would many others. I don’t know if it was my impact but he
decided to fight. His therapy to slow
the cancer was estrogen shots which essentially gave him menopause like symptoms. His already unstable mood swings were, well,
even more unstable. While I would have
talked to him until the end of time, sometimes all he needed was to be hugged
allowed to cry and reminded that it was okay, not to be okay. In the coming months, we found out that the
cancer had moved to his bones and while he would not admit it, it was just a
matter of time. He died peacefully in
his sleep, he is my friend and I will always miss him.
Even the occasional caller, I consider my friend. I am often
asked, “If you were really my friend, would you be okay with” this or that and
the honest answer is yes. The truth of
the matter is, I consider all of my callers, my friend. A friend is defined as one who is attached to
another by affection or esteem. I don’t
stop thinking of someone who calls me as soon as the conversation is over. I care, and because I do, I keep thinking
about you after you have called. Even
when it is a one-time caller who just needs a friendly voice for a few minute.
I love the longtime friend (the repeat caller) not because
it means more money. I get calls all the
time, I have even had to extend my hours so that I can fit more people in. I keep my cost as low as they let me, not
because I don’t value my time but because I know right now how hard it is to
spend money on yourself (and because I have been asked so often, I save the
money for vacation and to further my children’s education because I often find
it hard to spend money on myself.) I
love the repeat caller because I want to hear how you are doing. I want to know the tiny changes you have made
after we talked and how it is changing your life in wonderful amazing
ways. I want to be there when you hit
little snags and bumps and be there to cheer you on and tell you it is okay,
because no one is perfect and every day is a new day, a new chance to be the
you, you want to be.
So, I guess, when it comes down to it. While I am many things, mostly, I am all
about you and what it will take to make your life better. As cheesy as that sounds, I am serious. When there is someone in need, I feel the
need to help in whatever way I can. I
love, love, love, helping people through the messy, emotional, rough stuff
because I know that I can. It is not
always easy for either of us but it is always worth it… you are worth it.
P.S. I am sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I try
my best and it is something I am working on but I tend to type the way I talk
which can get a little messy and emotional sometimes. Feel free to message me your story before we
talk on the phone. It can be therapeutic
to get it out on paper (even digital paper) and honestly it saves you some time
so we can get to helping you sooner.
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