So she snores, or maybe he’s a bore…but you still like your
partner a lot. How can you tell whether you should keep him or her, or keep
fishing? It’s easy to say you love his
cooking, or her sense-of-humor, but what should you really look at in your
partner to judge the health and goodness of your relationship?
Here are some fast ways to tell whether he’s Mr. Right or
she’s Ms. Wrong:
feel accepted by your partner. Even if your thighs are double wide, your
partner finds you attractive.
feel respected. Your partner admires your skill at origami, even if he
or she has absolutely no interest in it.
feel comfortable. Whether you’re at a 5 star resort, or kicking back
with KFC, your time together is generally easygoing.
values are similar. You both agree it’s fine if the kids turn out to be
high-school dropouts. Or you both love the idea of living in a tent in the Rockies
for the rest of your life.
family and friends generally approve. People close to you may see things
about your partner that you are unable to see due to the cloud of romance and
lust around your relationship.
a better person with him/her. You feel more like donating blood, or
smiling, or saving the rainforest, thanks to his/her influence.
life seems better. You haven’t sunk into debt, abandoned your kids, or
been fired due to the pressures of your relationship.
can count on your partner. Whether you’re stranded in a monsoon, being
stalked by your ex, or developing raging ulcers, your partner hasn’t left.
If you are wondering about issues in your relationship,
speak with a licensed, experienced psychotherapist. A good therapist will help
you sort things out, without telling you what to do.